View Full Version : Don't know what to do....

20-07-2011, 10:37 AM
Hi all, im at my wits end and need some help, I have 2mindees both 17 months the little boy has bit the little girl twice before once being last week, while in the double buggy so nothing I could do about it. I popped it in the accident book and mum seemed ok. Mum is a mutual friend she didn't say anything to us but told our other friend that she wasnt happy about her little girl had been bitten. (which I wasn't happy about, she should have cone to me).... And this morning I put the little girl in the highchair turned around to measure her medication and he did it again!!!! There wasn't a mark this morning so I didn't think he had done it hard but as the day as gone on tye mark on her hand had become more apparent! I'm dreading having to tell her mum! I can't be doing with the hassle. what sort of thing do I approach mum with?! We had an issues with her before where she came to me and said (when we looked after her eldest) 'you're not watching them' I explained that children need to be given free choice of where they play and also that I am required to take a loo break but she went straight to surestart and returned to us saying 'they said you should be watching her every single hour of the day' i really don't know what to do, I dont think I'm strong enough emotionally to do this job when I have parents like her!
Hope this all makes sense.
Katie xx

20-07-2011, 10:49 AM
So sorry. This hasnt yet happened to me so I can't really help out but I didnt want to read and run. This is one thing I dred happening. Like you said you cant keep an eye on all the children all the time.

Im sure someone will be along to give some brilliant advice.

20-07-2011, 11:06 AM
sorry haven't got long

What an awful situation, I'm sure most of us will have been there.
Something's that spring to mind:
Have you sat down and spoke to the parent of the child and told her you will not accept that behaviour, maybe they get away with it at home.

When you go to the Loo, can you put the Biter in a pushchair so you know that getting hold of the other minded is out of the question?

It is something that happens about this age and usually grow out of, but only with constant direction and reinforcement of rules and boundaries.

Don't beat yourself up about it too much.

20-07-2011, 11:17 AM
Thankies both of you, I'm dreading 5pm! I may even send mum a text to let her know it's happened. I have explained to the little lads mum that he does it and the first tome it happened she even apologised to the little girls mum. I'm going to tell mum that we are going to enforce the 'shadowing' procedure and also like you said when there are times when he could be alone with the little one that he'll be restrained in highchair or something. The little girl breaks up for the holidays 2moro, it can't cone soon enough. At least I'll have a worry free few weeks.
Thankies again. Xx

20-07-2011, 12:13 PM
I have just had this problem with my youngest mindee biting and hitting the other children. When she bit I wrote an accident report for the victim :blush: and an incident report for the bitee which her parent had to read and sign. I have spent the last few weeks literally not letting her out of my sight. If I go into the kitchen to do something she has to come with me and sit at the table with books / toys etc. If I go to the loo she comes with me, basically wherever I go she has to come with me. I have spent lots of time just observing her with the other children and when I have seen her go to raise her hand to hit out I have given her a stern look and a sharp "No". She used to hit in the buggy too so I used a stern "hands down" to her every time she lifted her hands towards the other mindee in the buggy. Last week we seemed to have real progress and I am beginning to relax a little about it but it's been hard work and very draining.
Just make sure you make it clear to the "victims" parents how you are taking this seriously and what steps you will do to keep their child safe. Unfortunately a lot of children go through this stage so hopefully parents should be a little understanding of it. I remember my own DD biting an older mindee, she left a nasty mark on his shoulder :blush: .


20-07-2011, 12:34 PM
i had a similar thing with my own son and nephew! my nephew went through a stage of biting ander which stopped after a couple of months, i was just like kids will be kids, it happens! well a few months later i agreed to look after my nephew until i started childminding and ander bit him twice. the first time on his back, didnt look that bad but obviously a mark there. well the next day i had a look and 2 bite marks, i said is that where ander bit you and he said no mummy bit me (sis in law) i felt awful and was like what an earth do i say to that! obviously if i was minding him i would of reported it! a few days later my nephew hit ander round the face with a puzzle! anders reaction was to bite him, literally in the 2 seconds it took me to get to them!

mum went mental and slagged me off all over facebook, with her friend even threatening me! it has ruined my relationship with my brother so i wish no i had never offered to do them a favour! funilly enough my son has never bitten anyone else!

why cant people just understand that you dont have eyes in the back of your head and kids will be kids!

20-07-2011, 01:36 PM
I had this happen to me yesterday, the first time in 4 years i've had a biting incident. The biter has been hitting the other mindee for a few weeks so i have been watching him carefully, they were playing in a tunnel when it happened so there is no way I could have prevented it but I felt awful and was dreading telling mum. She took it really well and fortunately the biter is now at home for the 6 weeks holidays as his mums a teacher, she's gonna work on his behaviour over the hols so hopefully it won't happen when he comes back