Fed Up

[butterfly]

I'm on a real downer today. My colleague and I look after a 6 yr old before and after school. His behaviour has always been bad (he doesn't listen, has poor table manners, makes a mess, is rude etc) but lately he's got very physical and often strikes out at other children. Today there have been 5 incidents where he has bitten, hit or kicked other children.

His parents don't seem to be dealing with it at all. This morning mum told him that if he received a 'red card' at school today he would not be able to go to cubs tonight. Well he did receive a red card for biting and then continued to hurt other children but she has let him go because he was crying on 'the naughty step' an she thought that was punishment enough!

I'm totally fed up with him and the lack of support from her. I don't want other children to be put at risk of being hit or kicked and i don't like the fact that his behaviour rubs off on the other children. Also they don't think sitting on the step is a severe enough punishment which i fully agree with.

what should i do? i've drafted a letter to the parents but i don't know whetehr to send it or not. she has a tendency to get angry and aggressive quickly and i'm not sure i can cope with that. she will be dropping off and collecting from me tomorrow and thursday. obviously then it will be the summer holidays so i don't know whether i should just bide my time and enjoy my hols.

what would you do?

[green4lynn]

If I were in that situation I'd post the letter. I hate confrontations, so I can understand your reluctance to confront the mum but you have to think of the other children and the effect her sons behaviour is having on them. If she's not prepared to deal with it, you shouldn't have to. Its your business and you deserve to be treated with respect by the children and parents.

Good luck with your decision

Lynn x

[Noomie]

Give notice and get a new mindee! Mum has the hols to sort out new arrangements.

I am having a (not quite so severe but still quite bad) similar situation. It's my last day of minding in the UK on Friday and I want to take the kids out on Friday. But this LO's behaviour means that I doubt I should. Yesterday he wouldn't get in the car when leaving a venue as he didn't want to sit in either of the 2 seats he needs to sit in, couldn't get him off the bouncy castle after repeatedly doing dangerous things (fly kicking for example) and being asked not to, etc. It almost becomes a situation where he so stubbornly resists any kind of discipline and we have to remove him from the situation (with mum's permission and carried out very carefully) as it can be dangerous to other children, himself or may damage expensive equipment (ie, I don't want his foot through my TV or a toy smashed into my laptop!) We have tried so many different strategies with him - and believe me, I am a tough cookie when it comes to behaviour management I did time in a school in Peckham, but he is very difficult.

So, if his behaviour isn't good tomorrow or Thursday, I've told his mum that I won't be taking him. I want to enjoy my time with my mindees on the very last day.

If it wasn't my last day childminding here, it would be of minding him. Notice would be served!

[The Juggler]

i would give notice hon. Or, depending on if you want to, tell mum you are prepared to give it another go but ONLY if she will back you up and work with you and school on the behaviour issues.

:(

[sarah707]

You can't let older children impact on the little ones who are in the Eyfs... and for your own sanity you really need to consider your options.

Hugs x

[wendywu]

[what should i do? i've drafted a letter to the parents but i don't know whetehr to send it or not. she has a tendency to get angry and aggressive quickly and i'm not sure i can cope with that.


And there you have it in a nutshell, the problem is monkey see monkey do.

I would write up a joint plan of action to control his temper. Tell mum if she does not work with you then you will end the contract :panic:

[sjane2]

I agree with the others, if he is having a negative effect on the other children I would give notice. I can sympathise with you as it is very draining when you have a child like that and makes childminding not enjoyable as it should be.

best of luck