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snufflepuff
18-07-2011, 05:49 PM
My son really doesn't cope well with my baby mindee. My son is 29 months and mindee is 8 months. Also one day last week I had a friends baby just as a one off and my son didn't like it at all. He gets upset and angry when they cry- today he has been shouting at mindee when he cries, which upsets him even more! To be fair, mindee does cry alot, and it's very loud. DS will tell me to put mindee down or say that he wants me to put mindee to bed. He occassionally lashes out too- today he pushed mindee and he had hit him on the top of the head before- only gently but that's not the point. I find myself telling DS off all the time and then I feel bad! This is his house, maybe he's feeling insecure, maybe he doesn't like that he gets less attention- there must be a reason for it. And I need to get to the bottom of it because I have another young baby starting in September! He gets on well with my other mindees. And I only work three days a week at the moment so he gets time alone with me. I try to spend time with him while i'm working too but it's really difficult when baby is here because he needs constant attention- and only has a couple of short sleeps.
Can anyone help please?!

jumpinjen
18-07-2011, 06:32 PM
Could you maybe have a stash of favourite/new activities ready so when baby is crying, you can divert your son from it with something to do with you so he doesn't feel as if baby crying means that he has no attention..... perhaps you could get him some ear muffs and you maybe and be silly together and put them on sometimes when he says crying is too loud? When baby is quiet make sure you give special time and not rush off to tidy/make next bottle etc....... try to get out of the house every day to dop something... walk to shops for fruit, go to park to play, feed the ducks, post a letter.... so LO is happy in pushchair and you can focus on your son. I appreciate that he gets four days of just mummy but in his little world it doesn't make it any easier to have to share you the other three days!!!! perhaps playgroups often and activities at childrens centres etc would give him an outlet too whilst you hold/play with baby?

You prob do all this anyway but thought I'd suggest anyway as a fresh pair of eyes can sometimes help!

Hugs, Jen x

snufflepuff
18-07-2011, 06:46 PM
Thanks Jen.
I only have this mindee one day a week. He hates the buggy though, plus DS gets jealous and wants to sit in it, so it's hard to get out and about- we don't tend to go far!
I've tried getting him involved in looking after LO but he's not interested.
I do have some sticker books and he loves stickers, maybe when he's getting a bit upset at mindee I can get one for those out for him.
I do tend to try to tidy, write diaries etc when mindee is occupied, don't even think about it, so i'll make more of an effort to leave all that and sit with DS.

jumpinjen
18-07-2011, 07:42 PM
Thought you had probably thought of all those things.... good luck with it!

Jen x

sarah707
18-07-2011, 09:05 PM
Oh bless him it sounds like he is struggling with notwantingtosharemummyitis!

It's a common complaint and best treated with lots of love, hugs and attention but also he needs to understand you cannot be there every second of the day for him.

When the baby screams here I sometimes cuddle, sometimes read books to the other children with baby lying next to me being stroked and sometimes pop baby safely for a few minutes in the travel cot so I can play a game (especially if I am in the middle of one).

It's hard but the other little ones need to understand baby has needs too and they can play while I am busy in return for which when I am not busy with baby they get my full attention and I play their games.

Good luck :D