View Full Version : I think I need to rehome dog after all

17-07-2011, 08:12 PM
hi all...

I feel I have failed our dog.. it kinda pains me to say it and I'm back to thinking my only solution is to get our dog rehomed... . my husband and I split 2 years ago and all I've done since is work, look after our 2 young boys, have students and try to steal time to walk our dog, have time for me etcetc.. I'm not sure my mindee's mums like us walking the dog rather than going to groups or playing interactively at home.. especially the baby mums.

I'm now completely emotionally drained and tired of pushing buggies threw parks where we all get muddy including our dog.. on lots of occasions our poor lil dog doesn't even get out as trying to go walking in park with 4 under 5's isn't always fun and then at weekends my own 3 & 5 year olds whinge about taking him out...

on Friday I took my own 3 year old and the dog down for a walk on the beach followed by ice cream.. we got cautioned by the ice cream parlour as our dog wouldnt stop barking as we waited to order our ice cream.. my 3 year old was screaming prior to this coz he didn't want to walk dog. I thought this would be a nice afternoon and instead my child was grumping and the dog had 3 poo's and was constantly pulling. I'm tired so I'm sorry to witter.. it saddens me but I still think some months on that I need to rehome our dog.. I feel like I'm breaking up our family even more but I get very little help with him and can't afford to worm, flea, immunise and cut his hair.

Last time I posted my ex said he'd help more and my dad said he walk him more but this isn't really regular and so still has left soo much of the demands of the dog on me.. with worries about money and reducing our outgoings I think I've got to get rid of our dog...

I feel a tad numb doing this.. it doesn't feel real.. I care for our dog but I don't think I love him.. and as its just me here as a single mum ...

its got to be the right move to rehome ? isn't it? I've tried to give him a better life since March this year and can't seem to get out every day .. keeping our dog just seems a struggle and I think this is coz I'm working to much and find things hard to juggle as a single mum, a childminder .. plus the owner of a dog ... I dunno. :( :

I've had a dog in my life for the past 16 years .. I can't imagine not having a dog in my life but equally I can't seem to fit being a dog owner in my life right now.. if that makes of any sense.

17-07-2011, 08:19 PM
I'll admit my dog doesnt get a walk every day, but he has a good loving home so i dont feel guilty about it.
he always has access to outside, the mindees love him, fuss over him as do the parents when they collect.... one dad we call harry's best bud hahaha as they adore each other!!

try not to stress too much hun xxx

17-07-2011, 08:34 PM
It seems you've hit a very difficult time in your life right now. I'm sure you do care for the dog and probably do love it really, but you are saying you feel you are ready to rehome the dog. Perhaps this is the next move for you, but only you will know if it's right for you and your little family.

Dogs are supposed to get walked each day, but don't put yourself down so much if this doesn't happen. This does not mean you have failed your dog!! Could you and your children make these walks more fun? Could you count the birds you see in a competition etc? I'm sure your children have feelings for your dog too.

Financially, if you cannot actually afford to worm the dog etc, perhaps you should consider your options (of rehoming).

Is there any way of rehoming your dog with a relative/close friend? You may still feel for the dog or even want the dog back in a few months.

Please don't get too stressed, it's not an easy time for you (taking the dog completely out of the equation, you still have a lot of things going on!!). Take time over this decision and take a step back to work out exactly what you think you want/need to do next.


17-07-2011, 08:37 PM
Its a very hard and brave decision you are making, If you feel that it will be in the best interest of the dog and for you then do it. Is the dog a particular breed? if it is then go through the breed rescue that way he will be accessed and re-homed with a family that will suit his needs and that really want him, if you can't keep him until he is re-homed then he will probably go to a foster home if they have them rather than a kennel.
It sounds as if you are trying to do too much 4 under 5's and the dog during the week and then having to take both your own children out with him at weekends with no help, it is hard work, 4 wet muddy children and dog is no fun. Something has to give, perhaps you can think about another dog when your children are older.
Good luck.

17-07-2011, 08:44 PM
How awful for you to be in this situation,,we have a dog but my OH walks him at 5am each day before work then one of us will take him out again in the evening,,hes a labrador and lovley,, when my partner was working stupidly long hours in london it was down to me to do both walks every day,, we would go over the woods with him and the kids loved it,, i looked after a little fella with cerbal paulsy who wasnt very mobile at the time and he would love bouncing through the woods in the puschair waiting for the dog to pop out from behind a tree,, we used to turn it in to a game ,, even now when we go out with him the kids love it,, had 3 of them the other day walking through the woods getting very muddy and wet and loving it cause they would chase the dog then he would disapaer in to the bush then come out and make them jump which they found funny. In the holdiays I get the older mindees asking when we can take him out!
as for the mindees parents I make it clear from the start that he comes on walks with us and if they dont like it then tough, they can either go else where or stay with me and put up with it.
if hes a dog that needs walking every day how about a dog walker? I know they cost money but at least he would get a walk.
the other thing I find with charly is that he likes routine,, he knows he gets an hours walk in the morning then 15mins at night and a walk to the tree and back last thing for his wee, if he gets these hes settled,,but its not always about the distance,,I know of someone who has a dog who is much more active than ours yet he is settled on a 10min walk in the morning and same again at night,, would it be that if you got your dog in to a routine of the same time and walk each day that he would be fin and settled with this? also could you explain to the vet the situation? you may be able to get help with vetaniry costs.
at the weekdend with your kids coudl you make it in to a game? mabe go geocaching which is a kind of treasure hunt, take snacks etc to munch on the way,, find sticks and be darth vader or skywalker etc,, take one of those tenis ball dog throwers and get the kids to chuck the ball .
at the end of the day you have to decide what to do which wont be easy and I do understand how you feel as we had to make the decision to rehome a dog that we had rehomed,he developed fear aggresion and I just couldnt risk it,, sadest day ever but he is now happy with a new family , its not easy but do have a long hard thing before you do anything and good luck whatever you decide

17-07-2011, 08:51 PM
Hugs to you, you sound really down. Can you get a halti for your dog? (a lead which attaches to their muzzle - gives them no pulling power!) does a great job of stopping them pull which i know is tricky when you've got a puschair (our dog hates his, he rubs his nose on the ground! but its that or don't go out!). Is paying a local dogwalker for half an hour an option? Would be such a shame to rehome your dog - I'm sure its company when your little ones have gone to bed. Could you give the children a clipboard of pictures to tick off when you go for a walk ?ages ?little bags to collect things in? something for them to be interested in to make your walks fun.
Sounds like you have tried really hard for some time to keep your dog, don't feel guilty if you have him rehomed - people rehome dogs cos they want to give them a loving home.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

17-07-2011, 10:51 PM
It sounds like you have already made up your mind what you need to do :(

I have been in this situation many years ago when I split from my 1st hubby and had small children. I also felt like I had failed my dog and felt so guilty on my children. I thought about it for months and finally decided it was the right decision for me and my dog. I cried buckets when I handed her over but she went to a good home and I was told how she was getting on for a few months which helped with the guilty feelings.

It was the right decision for me and I felt that such a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Its sad but sometimes these things work out for the best.

:group hug: x

mrs robbie williams
18-07-2011, 05:56 AM
poor you :( you sound really down xx if you havent already made your mind up about letting him be rehomed how about putting a leaflet up in your local shop asking if anyone would be willing to take him for a walk for say a fiver a day???? its the school summer holidays and lots of 16yr olds have left school and want money - i know my dd would jump at the chance if you lived near me :) at least that would take the pressure off you for six weeks :)
or another option, could your ex have him? your parents as it could be only temporary until your own children are a bit older?
As for mindees parents seeming unhappy about you taking the dog for a walk rather than going to groups and playing indoors, we have a lab and we take her every morning straight after the school run and the mindees love it, we go to the woods, play hide and seek, they climb trees, collect things and then stick them onto paper when we get home. Children should have fresh air and a trip to the woods with the dog is perfect.
Dont rush into anything with him hun, look at your life and see if you can make it easier in other ways xx

18-07-2011, 07:28 AM
Have you got a family member or friend who could have him for a week or so to give you a break. Being away from him for a bit might also give you chance to decide and see whether you miss him and the benefits of having him or realise the benefits without him.

18-07-2011, 07:31 AM
sounds a nightmare!

i would rehome him. any local centre will find him a good home. RSPCA are very fussy about who they will let take a dog so you will be reassuresd that he will go to an owner that will care for him.

18-07-2011, 08:35 AM
You have a big decision to make but if you keep him, you said your family would help out - could they look after your children for an hour or 2 at the weekends so you can get out alone with the dog and enjoy the alone time with him. Would give you some space. You sound exhausted :(

18-07-2011, 10:19 AM
i am in the same position as you it is absolutely heartbreaking but just cant cope with dog and all the children.
hope you get something sorted x

18-07-2011, 12:05 PM
You know I'm a strong person and have tried my best.. my dad can only help if his wife is busy with her own grandkids.. my step mum doesn't like me and wouldn't want to help me at the weekends.. she's not even speaking to me.. my ex does help when he can but he commutes and is busy trying to do his own stuff in life in amongst looking after our kids everyother weekend.. I've now found out I'm also anaemic and so hence now know why I'm tired all the time.. its not just the walking of the dog but the fact of the economics of it all... really we got the dog as part of our growing family and I've now got to be realistic with being a good mum and wanting to go to the park to play with my kids or being a good dog mum and walking the dog.. its just part of the fall out of us breaking up.. a year ago this would of angered me.. now I just feel sad... but I've got to realise I can't be two parents .. I can only be me.. x