Stealing.....

[BuggsieMoo]

mmmmm bit of a tricky one this. Have been minding a child now for a couple of months and I felt (as did parents that all was going well). Anyway, mindee moved house 2 weeks ago and since then, has started to 'borrow' items from my setting that don't belong to them. I have noticed stuff missing - only small items such as a stencil for drawing (so nothing really expensive) but today we were doing some craft and had a box of different cardboard craft items to decorate. Mindee made a little bag and then when they thought I was not looking filled it with other craft items and quickly ran to put it in their bag in the hallway - along with the stuff they could keep. I waited for them to get back to the table and then went to their bag and removed it. I didn't make a scene and I didn't want to raise it with mum tonight as to be fair I am not sure how to and plus mindee was there and I didn;t want to talk negatively about them to mum.

Can someone offer some advise please - its really frustrating as well as if mindee had asked, I would have allowed mindee to have the said items.

[VINASOL]

mmmmm bit of a tricky one this. Have been minding a child now for a couple of months and I felt (as did parents that all was going well). Anyway, mindee moved house 2 weeks ago and since then, has started to 'borrow' items from my setting that don't belong to them. I have noticed stuff missing - only small items such as a stencil for drawing (so nothing really expensive) but today we were doing some craft and had a box of different cardboard craft items to decorate. Mindee made a little bag and then when they thought I was not looking filled it with other craft items and quickly ran to put it in their bag in the hallway - along with the stuff they could keep. I waited for them to get back to the table and then went to their bag and removed it. I didn't make a scene and I didn't want to raise it with mum tonight as to be fair I am not sure how to and plus mindee was there and I didn;t want to talk negatively about them to mum.

Can someone offer some advise please - its really frustrating as well as if mindee had asked, I would have allowed mindee to have the said items.

depends on how old mindee is but in the first instance i would probably move the bag to somewhere not accessible for them - can you gate off the hallway?

I do believe that children are never too young to explain stealing!

[BuggsieMoo]

mindee is 9.

[sarah707]

I would ask mum if there are other symptoms of unsettled behaviour at home such as bed wetting, night waking, not settling to sleep etc.

They often come together like buses and you might just be seeing one small part of a child's unhappiness or worry.

I think mum needs to know so she can keep an eye on the child who is obviously not very happy right now.

Good luck xx

[BuggsieMoo]

I would ask mum if there are other symptoms of unsettled behaviour at home such as bed wetting, night waking, not settling to sleep etc.

They often come together like buses and you might just be seeing one small part of a child's unhappiness or worry.

I think mum needs to know so she can keep an eye on the child who is obviously not very happy right now.

Good luck xx

Thanks Sarah707.

I agree mum needs to know, but I just didn't want to blurt it out with mindee standing there cos if it is because of an underlying concern then I would have only made it worse. I think I'll ask mum if we can have a little chat and take it from there.

Thanks again

[miffy]

I would have waited for mum to arrive and then had a quick word with her before asking mindee to show mum what they had made and then asked them about the other items in their bag (I'd only have done this if there was chance to talk to them without other mindees/parents around)

I'm assuming the issue of mindee taking things has been discussed by you and mum before as this isn't the first time mindee has taken something? At 9 they are definitely old enough to know that they shouldn't take things without asking but perhaps they are trying to bring attention to some other problem such as being unhappy about the house move.

Miffy xx

[leeloo1]

Personally with a 9 year old I'd have asked them to fetch the bag and show me what they'd taken and ask them nicely to put it back in the craft box.

I'd then have a quiet chat with them about 'shared' resources and remind them that if they take things home that don't belong to them there will be less for them to play with here next time.

I'd then put a note in all LO's diary, or have a quiet chat at hometime that saying that a few little bits have gone missing and please could parents be on the look out for anything at home that may have been taken by mistake. :)

[VINASOL]

I probably wouldn't have said somethign to mum the first time...however at 9yrs old they should know it's wrong.

So, go through your house rules again with your mindees...and make sure you explain that they are not allowed to put/take things without permission.

I would also still move the 9yr old's coat and bag out of reach and say that there is no reason for them to go to their bag.

I've had the same happen in my house by my 8yr old mindee...it was very awkward (of course) when I approached mum the first time and she didn't believe me...I moved bags and coats far out of reach which worked for a while until some cards and small items were being stashed in their pockets. Eventually mindee got caught red-handed and was told my me and mum that if it happens again he would not be back.

it appears, though, that although mum didn't believe me at first he is well known for stealing money in friends' houses and people joke about it....locked my bag away after that!!

Hope you get it sorted out...it's such a stressful situatino (or was for me)

[mabel]

if she is 9 then ideally you should be able to chat with her, be honest tell her what you know, she will probably open up and say she hadnt got any at home, often children these days dont do painting and crafts at home, she obviously loves doing it with you, I would recommed you open up a discussion it will be good for you both