How do your parents feel if...

[smurfette]

You take on another child? Some of you seem to have several mindees so I thought I would ask if anyone has had parents have a problem If you decide to take on another little one?

My conundrum is this .. I have three girls of my own aged 5,7 and 9 all in school and two mindees aged 8 months (full time) and 20 months.(3 days a week) The 8 month old Is gorgeous and mum is great - 20 month old has been difficult and mum doesn't communicate well leading to lots of teething problems. The little ones granny has been sick a lot and she was hardly ever here, mum didn't want to pay me when she wasnt here and the little one was a nightmare cos she didnt know if she was coming or going. So I decided I would give her notice but didn't do it as i really need my spaces filled - so I advertised and got a mindee aged 5 months who is a pet and I just really hit it off with his mum. He isn't due for full time care til mid august and in the last few weeks the troublesome mindee has really settled and mum has got her act together and we are getting along well now. So I am debating as to whether i can cope with the three and if so how the two mums of existing mindees might react to the news as I only ever Intended to take two and may even have told them so! I feel I am coping well with the two and getting into a routine- any advise/ thoughts?!

[PixiePetal]

do you have a variation for the 2 youngest as they are under 1 and guess they would overlap days?

only you will know if you can manage them all and Ofsted will need to know how you will accommodate them all for variation

[Penny1959]

I am assuming that you don't yet have a variation - as part of that would have been to tell Ofsted why you think you can cope - and so the question would not be needed. (Although if you have already done settling in days - your variation may be in place and you will have thought about it and are just seeking reassurance)

I am also assuming that you have been registered to look after 3 under fives (which you may have looking at the ages ot your children.

You need to sit down and think carefully about a typical day and how you will cope with routines and activities - do you have the right equipment? will it be practical when going out to have 2 non walker / early stage walkers? And the 20 month old will soon be moving on to want different play opportunities - will you be able to do this and supervised all children.

Of course you will still have 2 days when only have the 2 children - so will be able to do things that are not practical to do when you have the 3 little ones.

As to the parents - talk to then - but it is a case of providing information about what you are doing rather than asking for their 'permission' - they may have some corcerns about the practicalities - but having thought about it - you will be able to re assure then.

As someone who has often looked after more than 1 under one - it can be very hard work - especially if all 3 are teething / upset at the same time and distressed / crying - I find I don't have enough arms / bigger enough lap - and so have had to adapt comforting techniques!

Hope all works out

Penny :)

[love381]

It is quite difficult when you think other parents might not like the fact that you've took on more children, but you must remember it's your job!! If their boss took on more work to boost their company, they wouldn't complain!! Plus, if their boss felt his workers could cope with the work demand, their boss would not employ new workers either!!!

If you feel you can cope/manage everything, then go for it!! Think of any possible difficult times and how you'd do it! What if all three have a dirty nappy at the same time? What would you do? How would you change them all? (Sounds weird, but it was a question that an Ofsted person asked me when I asked for a Variation.) I said I would change the child that lay stiller/calmer first as it would be quicker!! I would use my initiative and change the children in an order that was suitable to me and I would ensure I wiped mat over before each next child etc.

How are you going to get out to pick the children up from school? Do you think you'll need a tripple buggy at times? Or a double with a buggy board? Ebay have some great tripple's second hand and sometimes at great prices.

Do you have three highchairs?!

Do you have space for all three to sleep at once? Maybe their nap times don't happen at the same time, but one day they might!

Is there any other equipment you might need more of? Car seats? Toys? Teething toys? Beakers/Bottles/Spoons/Bowls etc.

I really think if you can put down on paper or master it in your head about what you would do in all situations then you can probably survive. It's not an easy task, but a manageable one! x

[marnieb]

Only you will know how the parents will react - your 8mth old sounds like his mum will be fine, so I'm assuming it's the other mum you're worried about.

I lost a client when I took on another child. I had her lo 4 days a week, and took on a 3-dayer so she's still have 1 day with me to herself, but that wasn't good enought so mum took her elsewhere, so yes, it can happen.

[miffy]

If you haven't already applied to Ofsted to care for two children under 1 you need to do that asap whether you decide to keep on the 20 month old or not.

I've never had a parent be unhappy because I've taken on more work but I have known others who have. At the end of the day it's your decision whether you can cope with the three children.

Miffy xx

[smurfette]

Hi guys thanks so much for all the replies! I should have said i am in Ireland sorry so rules are different here we are nowhere near as strict! I can have two under 15 months and a total of three under 5 but I can see why Ofsted are strict about the under 1s.

I do have a double buggy and my girls are driven to school, also my husband is around some days as he is on shift and here we dont have to register them as an assistant.

I suppose if the mum of the 20 month old gets the hump and goes elsewhere so be it that would solve it, actually it's the other mum I am worried about as I would hate to lose her - having said that she is a Montessori teacher so is used to balancing lots of kids herself! I had the new baby on trial the other day and the granny of the 8 month old collected her and commented on the new baby , I just said we were trying him on for size! Mum didn't comment on drop off this am.

I think I am prepared to give it a go and see if it is manageable or not, my worry would be What do i do if it doesn't work out- would give notice to the 20 month old but on what grounds??!By rights I should be more loyal to her as had her first but with the past issues and the fact she is only part time it would make more sense

[Tam's Tribe]

Personally all my parents prefer it that I have lots of children, all different ages than just looking after theirs . . . if they wanted one to one, they should hire a nanny!

Occasionally when I do only have one during the day (as some LOs are on shiifts or on holiday) then we do spend lovely one to one time, which is also beneficial.

However, if some children are not here, the LOs do ask for them or where they are, coz we are like a little family, it is lovely to watch special relationships form!!

[jane5]

My mums like the fact that I have 3 lo's every day as they like their children to mix with others. I have 5 lo's on my books plus my dd and as 2 are shift workers they have somebody different to play with each week.

They are all very well behaved and polite and the only time there was any concern was when one I had was very disruptive but that situation has sorted its self out now.

When I first had 3 it was a bit scary but you soon settle down into a routine and it is actually easier when there are 3 now because they all play together. If you have enough equipment for them you should be fine :thumbsup: