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View Full Version : What age do you let children go off upstairs to the toilet on their own?



vix84
17-06-2011, 07:02 PM
Hi, bit of a silly question, my DS is just turning 3 and can go upstairs to use the toilet but I normally then go up to check he is doing hands etc. and go down the stairs with him. Im taking on an after schooler so is it ok to let them go up and down the stairs themselves?

Ive never really looked after 4 years plus, have lots of games for this age, any other tips or things I may not have thought about?
What about walking alongside the road, Im quite nervous about children being near the road, at what age do you realistically let them walk out of your arms reach lol? 13 :blush:

My new mindee's mum lets her DS wander off alongside our close road while she stands talking to me, even if she hears a car she doesnt look! This has happenned twice, the first time I called the mindee back over and said mind the road, today I called him but he was off, so I said 'is he ok by the road as although its a quiet road there are a lot of cars at times' she just said yes he should be fine :panic: He isnt even 2 yet. Next time Im going to say to the mindee, stay here as you make me very nervous when you wander off near the road, or I will make sure his shoes arent on ready for him to go until Ive finnished talking!

sarah707
17-06-2011, 08:42 PM
It's hard isn't it? Knowing when to let go and give them a bit of rope.

I think it's down to the child and how well you know him. You can gauge quite quickly how well the child will cope on their own.

I ask children to walk next to me because we have a lot of driveways on the way back from school and I explain that to them.

:D

alwaysright
17-06-2011, 09:27 PM
i have a downstairs loo now but when i didnt i would stand at the bottom and watch them go up and down and be shouting "flush the chain, wash your hands, be careful coming down etc etc" but as sarah says depends on the individual childs ability. my youngest after school is 5 and i still make him hold either the pram or my hand and the others have to stay at my side, if they object or say when i'm with my mum blah blah, to which i reply thats fine when you're with your mum but when you're with me this is how it has to be, i find i am over cautious! :laughing:

Babycat
17-06-2011, 11:43 PM
i had visions of me doing this lol to put gates on stairs and setting up all my safety! looking forward to silly things like this and working it out how you want your care to be! this forum is a big support for my active brain!

onceinabluemoon
18-06-2011, 07:23 AM
My LOs go up to the bathroom alone as soon as they are toilet trained properly. My bathroom is safe for them to be in so I have no worries about that and it helps them to be independent. This is usually around age 3.

They do not get taken to the loo at preschool either so it's the same thing. I can hear what's going on downstairs so know whether they've flushed and washed hands etc.

With regard to walking anywhere, all my mindees have to walk with me or holding my / my sons' hands depending how old they are. Kids are too unpredictable and when they see their mate across the road and are daydreaming...

lisa b
18-06-2011, 06:59 PM
I think it solely depends on their individual ability! I have a 3 year old who can go to the toilet, wipe themself and wash their hands quite capably, and I also have another the same age who cannot wash hands nor tend to wiping etc but they are okay at walking the stairs up and down unaided!

Its always a good idea to go up with them anyway, just to check they are okay and that they have actually washed their hands etc

Its up to you, the parents will tell you if they are able to do these things anyway, just ask them
:) :) :)

vix84
20-06-2011, 07:46 PM
Thanks for all the replies, I think standing at the bottom of the stairs and shouting up is a good thing for the 5 year old, gives him some independance and privacy, but with my DS I tend to go up after to check he has actually done his hands etc.

And I also agree how children can be un-predictable, and I also have occassional blank moments so Im sure all the children could easily have a blank moment and wander into the road.

MaryMary
20-06-2011, 09:00 PM
Definitely depends on the child.

I have a downstairs toilet, so stairs aren't an issue. I have a 2 yo (3 in 2 months) who can go to the toilet on her own, but can't reach the loo roll (I need to look at this, I will add it to my list!). i have a 3 yo who is totally independant (just remind him about hands) and a 6 1/2 yo who expects me to wipe his bum!! :eek: None of them seem to be able to flush the toilet!! They all try, and tell me it doesn't work (even some parents!) - it does!!