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sp1
16-06-2011, 10:41 AM
Hi, just thought I'd try on here for some advice first before I ring Ofsted or MM.

I have been childminding a little girl for some friends for a year now. They are going through a bit of a messy break-up at the moment(mainly due to the father). I see the little girl and the mother on a social level (and have always done so) The father is now saying that it's not appropriate etc

He has started picking at everything I do i.e wanting a copy of accident forms, a daily report of what I do with the LO, what snacks I give her etc I haven't a problem with doing this, but he is insisting that they are sent through the post to his new address, but is not prepared to pay for the cost of doing this.

I use MM contracts and the contract is between myself and the mother only. She pays me each week and the father has always taken a back seat up until now. Does anyone know where I stand legally in regards to having to give the father all this information, when he has signed no contract?

I hope this makes sense and as always and advice would help me lots :thumbsup:

the happy house
16-06-2011, 10:54 AM
That's an interesting one, but I don't have the answer, sorry.

But he would have no right to stop you seeing the mother socially - that's a private matter between you and the mother.
I would imagine it would depend on parental responsibility and residency. If the child is resident with him (even with 50:50 care) he would be entitled to all info (I'm guessing), but if he isn't responsible for the child on a day to day basis, then I can't imagine he is entitled to anything from you.
Although... if he does have PR then he would be allowed to come and collect the child from your home even without themother's permission.
I'll be interested in seeing what the legal position is on this.

happydays1
16-06-2011, 10:55 AM
Hi i suppose it depends on if he has full parental responsibility, maybe contact MM helpline. I was always told to get all people with parental responsibility to sign contracts as you can't be seen to be taking sides.
Sorry i can't be more help hopefully the help line etc can help.:)

oakie dokie
16-06-2011, 10:58 AM
my understanding is that your contract is with whoever sighned the contract. i may be wrong but this is what I told my parents when they split and argueing over fees, mum asked me to speak to dad about it but just told her I couldn't as contract was with her. Not getting in the middle of their disputes!

rickysmiths
16-06-2011, 11:02 AM
I would ring MM for some advise. Personally I always get both partners to sign all the paperwork anyway. I do this because then there can be no arguement over fees because I can go to either of them for payment because they have both signed the Contract.

If the father has Parental Responsiblity and has now moved out it may not be unreasonalbe to ask for any notices to be duplicated to him. Schools will do this for split parents.

As for doing an extra copy of accident forms and daily diaries then I think this is a bit much to ask. I would maybe offer to do a weekly summary by email with some photos attached so he can still be envolved with los weekly routine.

Remember if you do this you will need to be registered with the ICO for Data Protection.

wendywu
16-06-2011, 11:58 AM
I would say that if he wants these then he can come and collect them himself.:angry:

You dont have to do a dairy by law anyway, so he can go and whistle for that one.:mad:

Helen79
16-06-2011, 12:18 PM
I would see it as working in partnership with the parent and would be happy to send copies of the daily diary and any letters etc to him once a week maybe. Probably not accident forms unless lo had a major accident.
Does he have an email address that you could email him on instead of sending it all in the post?
He's def being unreasonable asking you not to see mum outside of work though.

I think it'd be a nice thing to do to keep him involved in his lo's life. I know if for whatever reason I didn't live with my kids I would want nursery and school to keep me involved.

sp1
16-06-2011, 12:18 PM
Couldn't agree more wendywu!!!! :clapping:

The frustrating thing is I know that he's not doing it for the childs best interest, but to be controlling :angry:

He has stated rickysmiths that he wants all the paperwork posted to him as email is too personal???:rolleyes:

Anyway, have spoken to MM legal advice team. As the contract is with the mother only, I'm under no obligation to supply what he wants and as it's not stated in the contract that I will supply the information it's up to mum to ask for it (which I know she won't as she's more than happy with my services) and then for her to pass it onto dad. I've been advised to tell him that daily records etc are here for him to inspect at any time. I just have to check with Ofsted what the registration requirements are (does that make sense to anyone???)

So yes wendywu! He can go whistle for it :laughing:

Thankyou everyone for you advice and help :thumbsup:

Kiddleywinks
16-06-2011, 02:20 PM
Not sure if this will help much, as it's a school rather than a childcare environment but.....

Absent Parent a copy of school term times (actually, was advised to go to the school website for term/holiday dates) where any projects/themes are also displayed and receives a copy of yearly school report only sent to him by post.

Parent with care receives accident forms, newsletters, appointments for parents evening etc

I would be sending him a letter acknowledging his requests/demands and inform him of the outcomes following your discussion with OFSTED and Insurance company, and maybe even the early years team if applicable, and at the end, very nicely point out that my private/personal life is exactly that, and he has no rights to tell me what I can or can't do, or who I can or can't do it with.
I would also add that if his requests are reasonable ie to be kept informed and have copies of such information, and he doesn't want to receive them electronically, due to the sensitive/private and confidential nature then he should make arrangements with the mother, or else supply you with prepaid registered/recorded delivery envelopes for you to post them to him!

I do dislike control freaks! :angry:

Chrissie x

PS. If you only have to inform the mother and he doesn't like it, suggest to him (with mum's agreement of course) you are happy to amend the contract to include him, and also point out that your fees will be also collected half each! My thoughts are he'd change his tune then lol

Edited to add PS