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TRACEY1969
15-06-2011, 08:21 AM
i have posted a thread recently about information on 3 years olds and this is the same 3 year old i am talking about. Over the last month or so i have noticed that he is eating with his fingers alot even when i do a gravy dinner, and i have had a word with parents about this. I give him a spoon, fork and knife, he starts off just putting these in his dinner but not scooping anthing on to them if u know what i mean so when he takes them out his dinner theres no food on them, then he will put down after about 10mins and starts using his fingers and sometimes squeezes the food in this hands. Parents don't think this is a problem but i do as i don't want the other mindees to do the same thing. I asked parents if he has alot of finger food at home and they hesitated with there answer so i think yes. What do i do.

This mindee doesn't talk needs help with his speach
Still in nappies
parents are thinking about not sending him to pre school and still using me for the 3 days and 2 days at a private nursery.
They have time off but still send him to me and i have told them potty training starts at home they have policy, but don't seem to want to spend time with him.

Rain or Shine
15-06-2011, 08:31 AM
Food wise - I would have him sat near me at meal times and snacks, and keep encouraging him to use this spoon or folk (which ever is easiest for the meal). Maybe Mum and Dad are going for the easiest option as they are unsure how to teach him??? Playdough with cuttlery is a good activity to encourage there skills.

Potty trainning - Does he seem ready to even start? Could you talk to mum about introducing the potty at home so when he is ready he wont have a fear of it?

If he is struggling and behind then you need to work with parents to support him. Lets hope they are wiling to work with you. Maybe invite then round for a coffee and a chat.

Is his behaviour ok generally?

babs
15-06-2011, 08:43 AM
as already said sit with him and meal times i always sit between the 2 baby's i have and i put food on spoon place it back on plate let them pick it up ( handy to have 2 spoons ) as for potty training he will do it when hes ready my great niece is nearly 3 and still in nappies she does go to the toilet every now and then when she feels like it, mum just about gets her there then she decides she dont like toilet .. as said talk to parents or health vistor if you think hes behide

TRACEY1969
15-06-2011, 08:44 AM
Food wise - I would have him sat near me at meal times and snacks, and keep encouraging him to use this spoon or folk (which ever is easiest for the meal). Maybe Mum and Dad are going for the easiest option as they are unsure how to teach him??? Playdough with cuttlery is a good activity to encourage there skills.

Potty trainning - Does he seem ready to even start? Could you talk to mum about introducing the potty at home so when he is ready he wont have a fear of it?

If he is struggling and behind then you need to work with parents to support him. Lets hope they are wiling to work with you. Maybe invite then round for a coffee and a chat.

Is his behaviour ok generally?


He likes to play by himself and not join in any group play, even at story time he will walk off and play with the toys and not listern. Making eye contact with him he looks away and says no. I have pointed this out to parents but there comments are the same 'his ok at home'. I do sit by him and we all eat the same things and i never had a problem with him eatting but now he seems to be going backwards. I do a diary for parents and a few weeks ago i made comments regarding his eatting and his parents agreed with me but now they have wrote in the book that this is not a problem. They need to spend time with him, Mom has today off but he is still coming here, i don't mind them having days off but when they have 3 weeks off and send him they could be potty training at home and helping him with his eatting. I forget sometimes i'm his parent :rolleyes:

TRACEY1969
15-06-2011, 08:48 AM
as already said sit with him and meal times i always sit between the 2 baby's i have and i put food on spoon place it back on plate let them pick it up ( handy to have 2 spoons ) as for potty training he will do it when hes ready my great niece is nearly 3 and still in nappies she does go to the toilet every now and then when she feels like it, mum just about gets her there then she decides she dont like toilet .. as said talk to parents or health vistor if you think hes behide

i have spoken to health visitor about his speach and mindee has an appointment in July and mom has booked it off with me, but she texted me last nite to say mindee isn't going he will be coming to me instead they said its only for the parents :panic: i told her to look into this as i think mindee should be there after all it is about him.

mumto3
15-06-2011, 09:40 AM
with regards to mealtimes just encourage him as much as u can and show him how to use the cutlery, maybe sit with him and have a small amount of food urself so he can see u eating, this helps alot as they learn from those around them and he is more likely to copy u than the other children. make it fun and lighthearted and i agree with the other suggestion of the playdough, also incorparate cutlery into other messy play too, sand, water, gloop etc, just so he can get used to them, how to hold them and manoeuvre them, it may be a slow progress, all children develop at different speeds and he may have abit of a development delay, u could do an observation at meal time and check it against the development stages on the eyfs

when it comes to nappies, i dont think 3 is old for a boy to still be in nappies and as above if he has any type of delay then this may be delayed too, just thought was he born prematurely? worth asking the parents

with regards to the other points, ie, him going to u when parents are off, the fact they dont seem interested in helping and are in denial of any delays etc and the whole pre-school situation, all i will say is (as politely as possible) that maybe all that isnt ur business, u should refrain from judging them and their choices, they may see it as they pay u to look after him so they will use that space even when they are off, it really is down to them, it doesnt mean they dont care or love their child, there maybe more going on that u dont know about, i dont want this to look like im having a go but i think u should just do ur job and try and work with the parents as much as possible, they may be scared that there is something wrong with their son, that maybe why she is changing the appointments etc, just try and be abit sensitive to the matter i think

good luck

TRACEY1969
15-06-2011, 11:53 AM
with regards to mealtimes just encourage him as much as u can and show him how to use the cutlery, maybe sit with him and have a small amount of food urself so he can see u eating, this helps alot as they learn from those around them and he is more likely to copy u than the other children. make it fun and lighthearted and i agree with the other suggestion of the playdough, also incorparate cutlery into other messy play too, sand, water, gloop etc, just so he can get used to them, how to hold them and manoeuvre them, it may be a slow progress, all children develop at different speeds and he may have abit of a development delay, u could do an observation at meal time and check it against the development stages on the eyfs

when it comes to nappies, i dont think 3 is old for a boy to still be in nappies and as above if he has any type of delay then this may be delayed too, just thought was he born prematurely? worth asking the parents

with regards to the other points, ie, him going to u when parents are off, the fact they dont seem interested in helping and are in denial of any delays etc and the whole pre-school situation, all i will say is (as politely as possible) that maybe all that isnt ur business, u should refrain from judging them and their choices, they may see it as they pay u to look after him so they will use that space even when they are off, it really is down to them, it doesnt mean they dont care or love their child, there maybe more going on that u dont know about, i dont want this to look like im having a go but i think u should just do ur job and try and work with the parents as much as possible, they may be scared that there is something wrong with their son, that maybe why she is changing the appointments etc, just try and be abit sensitive to the matter i think

good luck

ok he use to feed himself until recently and today when they droped him off i did ask if anything had change regarding routines at home. They said no but mom is on a diet so that might be the answer to his eatting.

nappies mom expects me to train him in my setting and in my policy training starts at home first and when mindee feels confortable with it i will introduce this in my setting, i know this is how most cm work.

I know its non of my business if he doen't go to pre school but the health visitor and i think this will help him interact and if he needs any additional help the school will give it to him, as we have tried in the last 6 months but parents have not gone ahead with it or they go to one meeting and say they are talking rubbish.
Like i said i don't mind the days off after all i do get paid for them, but weeks hols and they expect me to potty train and they don't do it when it should start at home first like it states in my policy it's no good giving my pull ups and say lets see how you get on with it when they don't do it.

TRACEY1969
15-06-2011, 12:00 PM
she's not changing her appointment for him she's not taking him with her to the appointment when the appointment is for him

grindal
15-06-2011, 12:12 PM
she's not changing her appointment for him she's not taking him with her to the appointment when the appointment is for him

My son had a series of speech therapy sessions. The majority of the first session involved conversation between myself and the speech therapy team - finding out background info about my son. Maybe, just maybe the appointment is for parents only. Have you seen the appointment letter? You do seem quite set against this parent at the moment.

TRACEY1969
15-06-2011, 01:24 PM
My son had a series of speech therapy sessions. The majority of the first session involved conversation between myself and the speech therapy team - finding out background info about my son. Maybe, just maybe the appointment is for parents only. Have you seen the appointment letter? You do seem quite set against this parent at the moment.

he has been to speach therapy before and the parents didn't want to take him again because the parents said they were talking rubbish so the health visitor advised them to go back. Its the health visitor who said she must take him. I know this because i do a diary for parents and they write everything down in it and when parents have meetings with health visitors/doctors they also inform me of what was said.

Pipsqueak
15-06-2011, 01:35 PM
you are having concerns... you are trying to work with the parents... i would start noting down conversations with them, dates times what was said and by whom,, note down concerns that you have about the child....

it could be something or nothing..... the fact that these parents appear to be so disinterested in their sons development (ie speech therapy etc) may be just plain annoying or an indicator......

Repeat to them and reissue the potty training policy. They start it at home, appraise you of how the are doing it and you will continue at yours. Is he showing signs of toileting recognition? Does he have the communication skills to indicate he wants the toilet or has done something in his nappy.

The speech - have a look on the ICan website and its sister site for lots of help and information. Go back to basics with the speech and just do lots of encouragment and repetition accompanied with beat.

food - keep encouraging the little one... with the cutlery. funnily enough we were talking abou this this morning.... it seems to be on the rise that children do not know how to use cutlery properly. I am sure i read somewhere recently that schools have reported a rise in children starting school who are unfamiliar with cutlerly use and they are having to go back to basics with many. Our conversation started of because the last few evenings i have moaned at James about using his fingers and he said 'well kids at school do' and apparently yes kids at school have been...... shocking shocking shocking (and James got short shrift from me and was told to use his knife and fork properly)!!

TRACEY1969
15-06-2011, 01:59 PM
you are having concerns... you are trying to work with the parents... i would start noting down conversations with them, dates times what was said and by whom,, note down concerns that you have about the child....

it could be something or nothing..... the fact that these parents appear to be so disinterested in their sons development (ie speech therapy etc) may be just plain annoying or an indicator......

Repeat to them and reissue the potty training policy. They start it at home, appraise you of how the are doing it and you will continue at yours. Is he showing signs of toileting recognition? Does he have the communication skills to indicate he wants the toilet or has done something in his nappy.

The speech - have a look on the ICan website and its sister site for lots of help and information. Go back to basics with the speech and just do lots of encouragment and repetition accompanied with beat.

food - keep encouraging the little one... with the cutlery. funnily enough we were talking abou this this morning.... it seems to be on the rise that children do not know how to use cutlery properly. I am sure i read somewhere recently that schools have reported a rise in children starting school who are unfamiliar with cutlerly use and they are having to go back to basics with many. Our conversation started of because the last few evenings i have moaned at James about using his fingers and he said 'well kids at school do' and apparently yes kids at school have been...... shocking shocking shocking (and James got short shrift from me and was told to use his knife and fork properly)!!

Thank you for your advice and i will look into everything you have mentioned. I have a good relationship with the parents but sometimes it seems they want me to do all the work for them. I do have meeting and write things down and they get a copy but a few weeks later back to the same thing so sometimes i need to do some 'straight talking' to them

blue bear
15-06-2011, 02:14 PM
Can he do other fine motor things, hold a pencil, pick up hundreds and thousands etc, is it just the cutlery or is it handling tools in general?

I had a lo whose parents didn't want speech therapy help,it's so hard to accept there is something wrong with your child for some parents, be patient with them, take all the advice you can to promote lo speech, could you go to speech therapy sessions, I did and ended up doing all the work at my house child picked up so quick and you wouldnt know there had ever been a problem now.

I would be doing full observations linked to eyfs in all areas to see where the problems are exactly, some will link to others.

Have you spoken to day nursery, do they have concerns? What strategies are they using?




Try to only high light concern to parents in a positive manner, you need to get them on board and not feel threatened. Only chat to them about the most concerning thing, try not to over load them they will feel like failures and give up.

TRACEY1969
15-06-2011, 05:04 PM
mindee not at day nursery yet he starts Sept. Parents have had a phone call today from the Health Visitor asking for there permission to release mindee's medical records because the speach theropist want to see them. They think the reason he's not indicating he wants the toilet or speaking is because they think something is wrong so mom has just told me.

My obs did sum up this and i did have a meeting with parents about mindee and even the health visitor at the time saw my obs but they said give him time and review in 6 months time.

My daughters health visitor comes to my house and she noticed that he needs help. Hopefully now he can get the help he needs and get back on track and look forward.

LChurch
15-06-2011, 08:03 PM
Hi

I have a nearly 3 yr old who is very similar to yours. I have my concerns too. Maybe they are just slow developers and will pick up soon. I am hoping that once this one goes to nursery he will pick up, although I do wonder if he has speech and language problems. Does he follow instructions if you said put the green brick under the table? Mine would struggle with that sort of instruction but the 2yr old wouldn't! Like someone says do some detailed observations under each area of EYFS (I know that is a pain at times but it would highlight different areas that he might be good in and those that he struggles in.)

MaryMary
16-06-2011, 12:33 PM
Poor little mite :(

It looks to me like the parents are in denial about a problem. They may think that if nothing official is done, then there is nothing 'wrong'. It must be difficult for them too.

I have a LO, who will be 7 in October. Apparently, when he was in nursery they flagged up concrens, but mum didn't want him 'labelled' at such a young age and didn't follow up on it (she has told me this. I have had him after school since he started in reception). He has now been statemented, and has 1-to-1 help at school. His fine motor skills are not good. i have to do his trousers up when he comes out of the toilet (otherwise his trousers fall down! :panic: I refuse to wipe his bum now, but still have to give him guidance), peel bananas (he tries to eat them unpeeled otherwise) and if I can get him to draw, he just scribbles with a red pencil. I am rambling, but my point is, if mum had tried to sort this out earlier, when first brought to her attention, she may have been in a better position now.

One question - what is the ethnic background of the child? Some cultures do not use cutlery in the same way as others, so this may not be seen as an issue. However, from reading between the lines, it looks like there is more to it than that in this case. Also, if children are not eating properly (ie chewing food, not all cut up/mashed up like baby food) this can effect speech development (I once saw an interesting case on Jo Frost)

I hope you get it sorted :thumbsup: