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foxy lady
14-06-2011, 11:26 AM
i have just come back from another childminders house who i met last week at tots group.
it got to half past 11 and she said oh to door will ring in a min it will be mindees mummy ok i said is she going home then? no she said her mum is coming to breast feed her she come everyday in her lunch hour.
now this seems a really nice thing to do but i have to say i was a little shocked as the mindee is nearly 4 years old. :eek:

Rubybubbles
14-06-2011, 11:33 AM
ah! was going to say thats okay, but then 4yrs old really doesn't need the mum to feed over lunch (if at all lol!)

marnieb
14-06-2011, 11:35 AM
4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


do we think mum is having a bit of trouble letting go???

JCrakers
14-06-2011, 11:58 AM
:eek: Ive just spat my coffee out..lol

What a waste of a hard earned cuppa

Becky x

foxy lady
14-06-2011, 11:59 AM
4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


do we think mum is having a bit of trouble letting go???

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

foxy lady
14-06-2011, 12:01 PM
:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

ha ha i wonder if she will want to go at lunch time in september when she starts school.

JCrakers
14-06-2011, 12:04 PM
It reminds me of the Little Britain sketch...where the fully grown man asks for bitty
I love that it always makes me giggle

Becky x

blue bear
14-06-2011, 12:18 PM
A child of four should be drinking from a cup and certainly doesn't need feeding during the day, mum needs to have another baby.

kells_bells
14-06-2011, 01:15 PM
A child of four should be drinking from a cup and certainly doesn't need feeding during the day, mum needs to have another baby.

I agree with this! I would be as shocked at a four yr old having a bottle of milk at dinner time too. Wowzers.

FizzWizz
14-06-2011, 01:37 PM
Wow! My health visitor would love that one - she practically fell out of her chair last month when I said my two year old still had breast feeds morning and night!!

singingcactus
14-06-2011, 04:20 PM
Up to mum really, not anyone else's business or place to judge. I'm sure she'd be delighted to know her childminder and childminder's friends are mocking her.

kindredspirits
14-06-2011, 04:22 PM
whilst there is nothing wrong with still breastfeeding the child - i would have thought it would make more logical sense to express it and give it to him a beaker - rather than taking the time and effort to come over every lunch time to feed him/her.

hollyberry
14-06-2011, 04:41 PM
Absolutely NOTHING with feeding a child of four if this is what you want to do.

However, totally impractical and she's not thinking ahead to school time plus I doubt the child really needs it and is sitting there at lunchtime distressed if mum doesn't come to feed her!

I fed both of mine til they each were 2 but by this point it was just an a.m. or an a.m. and p.m. feed they really didn't need any more.

But, it's up her - I guess as CM she could say to mum hey it's only X months til she starts school - are you planning to phase it out by then or what's your plan?????

miffy
14-06-2011, 05:05 PM
What happens if the childminder wants to go out for the day?

Miffy xx

Rain or Shine
14-06-2011, 05:13 PM
My Daughter is 2 next month and i cannot visualise her breast feeding again. Although to be honest she still has a bedtime bottle, is that bad? :blush:

She sleeps really well with it, i know i have to start stopping it soon, she also still has her dummy. Think i will start giving her a beaker of milk before bed and then after her birthday work on the dummy.

Mouse
14-06-2011, 05:30 PM
I have no problem with a mum chosing to breastfeed for an extended period and i have no problem with a mum coming in at lunchtime to bf a baby.

But, I would have a problem with a mum coming in to bf a 4yr old as it just isn't necessary. I'd be accommodating for a baby, but not for a 4yr old child. It would disrupt our day and unsettle the other children. If it was necessary, then that's fine (as in for a baby), but as it isn't needed to bf a 4yr old at lunchtime, I'm afraid I wouldn't agree to it. It sounds like it's just an excuse for mum to visit at lunchtime.

foxy lady
14-06-2011, 05:48 PM
Up to mum really, not anyone else's business or place to judge. I'm sure she'd be delighted to know her childminder and childminder's friends are mocking her.#

actually the childminder never once mocked her she just told me that she would be coming as the mum feeds in the room we were in. im not sure where you got that information from but i certanly did not say that. the childminder was very professional about it. as for me mocking her well maybe just a little bit but it wasnt ment in a hurtfull way

Jiorjiina
14-06-2011, 06:45 PM
In societies where children are allowed to nurse "as long as they want" they usually self-wean, with no arguments or emotional trauma, between 3 and 4 years of age. (http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html)

The good Dr Detweiler should know what she's talking about (http://www.kathydettwyler.org/dettwyler.html).


as for me mocking her well maybe just a little bit but it wasnt ment in a hurtfull way


Mocking someone is always hurtful, whether you mean it or not. Perhaps mum has to work, but also wants to maintain the closest emotional bond she feels she can with her child?

Given all the other comments on theses forums about parents who don't seem to give a damn about their kids, I don't think anyone should be mocking a mother who clearly does (whether she's right to carry on for this long or not).

Kudos to the other childminder for being a professional about it though.

Babycat
14-06-2011, 11:30 PM
LOL, i wrote a policy on BF as I am BFing my little one and prob will do up to a year. So came on and saw this and thought oh someone else is too? Then .. wow 4! and I thought I was being optimistic about doing it until LO was 1!! HAHA any other CMs BF their own?? x

love381
15-06-2011, 05:43 AM
LOL, i wrote a policy on BF as I am BFing my little one and prob will do up to a year. So came on and saw this and thought oh someone else is too? Then .. wow 4! and I thought I was being optimistic about doing it until LO was 1!! HAHA any other CMs BF their own?? Me! x

I have BF all four of mine, still going with number 4. Number 1 was until 12 months, number 2 was until about 18 months, number 3 stopped herself at just over 12 months (but I was pregnant and it apparently changes the taste!) and number 4 is nearly 13 months old and I know I'll keep going until at least 2 years as he's my last! I know I'll want to hold out, he's my last little baby and I'm going to miss it. For just over the past 5 and a half years I've either been pregnant or breastfeeding or both at times and it's been brilliant. I am so going to miss having babies, but that's definately another story! Good on you for trying to stick it out for 1 year!!! I hope your baby enjoys it for that long too.

As for BF whilst minding. My eldest is nearly 10 (omg, feel so weird, double figures soon!) and I never had a problem when he was younger. One of my mindees mum's were expressing for me to give him her milk in a bottle etc. I've never had any parents complain, even when their children stick dollies up their jumpers to BF them too. My third is nearly 3 years old and not long after I had my 4th, she said to me, mummy, I want milk in my three tummy's too, coz my dolly wants mummy's milk. She thinks I have three tummy's not a tummy and two boobs!! x

singingcactus
15-06-2011, 06:05 AM
LOL, i wrote a policy on BF as I am BFing my little one and prob will do up to a year. So came on and saw this and thought oh someone else is too? Then .. wow 4! and I thought I was being optimistic about doing it until LO was 1!! HAHA any other CMs BF their own?? x

I nursed mine whilst minding too. I nursed him till he was 2 then he just stopped - would have gone on for as long as he wanted me to. I'm a big fan of self weening.

anthea jane
15-06-2011, 06:33 AM
There's a programme on watch tonight at 9pm called extraordinary breastfeeding, talks to some mums who breastfeed their children to 7yrs!
Will be a very interesting programme to watch I think.

Babycat
15-06-2011, 12:58 PM
I have BF all four of mine, still going with number 4. Number 1 was until 12 months, number 2 was until about 18 months, number 3 stopped herself at just over 12 months (but I was pregnant and it apparently changes the taste!) and number 4 is nearly 13 months old and I know I'll keep going until at least 2 years as he's my last! I know I'll want to hold out, he's my last little baby and I'm going to miss it. For just over the past 5 and a half years I've either been pregnant or breastfeeding or both at times and it's been brilliant. I am so going to miss having babies, but that's definately another story! Good on you for trying to stick it out for 1 year!!! I hope your baby enjoys it for that long too.

As for BF whilst minding. My eldest is nearly 10 (omg, feel so weird, double figures soon!) and I never had a problem when he was younger. One of my mindees mum's were expressing for me to give him her milk in a bottle etc. I've never had any parents complain, even when their children stick dollies up their jumpers to BF them too. My third is nearly 3 years old and not long after I had my 4th, she said to me, mummy, I want milk in my three tummy's too, coz my dolly wants mummy's milk. She thinks I have three tummy's not a tummy and two boobs!! x

This had made me feel so more relaxed about the wanting too! I think it is up to your child how long they will go too. I orginally said I'll try it for six months and my LO is around the 5 months mark and I cant imagine in 1 month he'd be done with it! He refuses to take a bottle or a cup and I have just started introducing 1 solid food a day and he wont even have a drink of water with it! Its BF before and after! Would be funny seeing a little one copy you with your three tummies lol xx

vix84
17-06-2011, 07:31 PM
I am still going strong with breastfeeding my 7 and a half month old, he had a few intolererances and would react to formula and also wont take a bottle.
I have had to find ways of letting parents know on visits that Im still breastfeeding so they arent shocked when there child sticks a doll up its jumper lol.
I used to think it was odd to see 'children' over 9 months being breastfed, but now I still see little ones up to 2 as babies :) I want to get DS through this next winter for immune reasons especially with childminding so he will be between 15 and 17 months when I stop, I already feel like I need to find discreet areas to feed him and feel judged for feeding over the 6 month mark.
But I will bite the bullet and just carry on knowing it will benefit DS.

Im suprised the mum still feeds during the day, would have thought if she really wanted to do it then the am and pm would be enough ....... Im hoping DS will let go of the daytime feeds from about a year and just do am's and pm's and probably just for comfort during the night

Chimps Childminding
17-06-2011, 10:36 PM
If it suits mum and the child, then so be it! Personally I wouldn't be breast feeding a 4 year old.

What would bother me is as someone said if this child is due to start school in september what will happen then, will the mum expect to go into school each day to breast feed or will it suddenly stop. I would have thought if it was going to be stopped before school then they needed to start doing something about it soon :rolleyes:

As a cm, I am not sure I would appreaciate having to make sure I was in every day so mum could pop round. Surely expressing the milk and sending it in a beaker would be a much more convenient way of doing things!

onceinabluemoon
18-06-2011, 12:28 PM
The mindee is 3 at the moment not four, so they're not off to school any time soon so that's not really an issue... I think I would have been surprised at a mum wanting to come in and feed at that age too, but I also think its nice that mum and child still have that lovely bond.

Personally (as a CM) I wouldn't want to wait in at lunchtime every day for a mum feeding a 3 year old, but I have no problem with people who want to extend their feeding beyond the 'normal' 6 month mark. I fed my youngest til he was 11 months and wish I had carried on longer.

kells_bells
18-06-2011, 12:58 PM
LOL, i wrote a policy on BF as I am BFing my little one and prob will do up to a year. So came on and saw this and thought oh someone else is too? Then .. wow 4! and I thought I was being optimistic about doing it until LO was 1!! HAHA any other CMs BF their own?? x

I breast f'ed my two lo's but I wasn't childminding, I am due number 3 in October and intend to bf, I'd not even thought about what my parents would feel about this. Both my mindees were bottle fed but I've never thought my choices might bother their parents or how they might react to their babies putting dollies up their jumpers :D

Would you mind sharing your policy. I'd love to see it and think it would help me be able to broach the subject better.

I know it sounds silly but I was a shy feeder, I didn't do it in front of lots o people. I preferred to wizz myself upstairs if I had a house full.

Kiddleywinks
18-06-2011, 01:03 PM
Both of mine dumped me before they were 1 :( as they both preferred 'real' food by then lol, but by the time I was dumped they were only on an evening/night feed so would have had no 'outsider issues' had they wanted to continue for longer
(The ex MIL for one, who thought it was abhorrent I even wanted to BF in the first place and tried shuffling me off to the bedroom at baby's feeding time until I pointed out SHE was in MY home lol)

Personally, I think self weaning will probably occur pretty soon anyway.
Just a thought... Is it more of a comfort thing for either child or mum as I can't see that there is much 'nutritional' value at this stage....?

Chrissie x

christine e
18-06-2011, 02:18 PM
Just read something in The Sun, Boy 7 is breastfed! Police were called, in Geneva, after a bare-chested lday was seen breastfeeding her son whilst sat on a park bench. She got a suspended jail term after being convicted of commiting acts of a sexual nature with a minor. Article goes on to say that she will get psyciatric help.

Christine

venus89
18-06-2011, 02:58 PM
Just read something in The Sun, Boy 7 is breastfed! Police were called, in Geneva, after a bare-chested lday was seen breastfeeding her son whilst sat on a park bench. She got a suspended jail term after being convicted of commiting acts of a sexual nature with a minor. Article goes on to say that she will get psyciatric help.

Christine

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Tinglesnark
18-06-2011, 05:11 PM
I still breastfeed my 2.5 year old. We co-sleep and he feeds freely all through the night and helps himself in the mornings before we wake up and i have no intention of "stopping" him when it is his comfort.
I always say that one should walk a mile in anothers shoes before casting aspersions....
I am often called a freak but hey, Sticks and stones and all that jazz :thumbsup: :D

My child, Our choice

:thumbsup:

Oh and i will also add that we are a very child led household and as such i do believe that my children will know when they are ready to let go of their comforters...Just as i give them the power to decide when they are ready to rejoin the group after a time out, I want to give them the same choice in choosing when to give up their comfort. The only stipulation that i have is that comforters are ONLY for night time...although if either are unwell then they can have their comforters whenever they need it....

BlondeMoment
18-06-2011, 05:25 PM
There's a programme on watch tonight at 9pm called extraordinary breastfeeding, talks to some mums who breastfeed their children to 7yrs!
Will be a very interesting programme to watch I think.

I saw that!!!! OMG I can't believe that mother still fed those older girls at 7! That mother has a serious problem. Those girls must be ridiculed at school and if not they will be now!
The worst bit, that made me and my husband both scream, was when the Dad said he often joins in!!!!!!!
The memories those girls will have when adults! Sharing breast feeding with their Dad!!!!! It's really sick and quite perverted to do that in front of your child! There's no way he's doing it for anything other than sexual pleasure.

The lady feeding her 2 year olds on demand was a bit daft too. Fair enough if she wants to extend it but bring it into a routine. Her poor other kids!

Tinglesnark
18-06-2011, 05:29 PM
The lady feeding her 2 year olds on demand was a bit daft too. Fair enough if she wants to extend it but bring it into a routine. Her poor other kids!

Why "poor other kids" ?
what is so disgusting about breastfeeding i wonder?
goodness me, i must be SUCH a freak....

I am also so very impressed at the inclusion that most of you are displaying in this....erm....diverse thread....

ahem...

BlondeMoment
18-06-2011, 05:36 PM
Why "poor other kids" ?
what is so disgusting about breastfeeding i wonder?
goodness me, i must be SUCH a freak....

I am also so very impressed at the inclusion that most of you are displaying in this....erm....diverse thread....

ahem...

"Poor other kids" because they got none of her time! Her two year olds were feeding up to every half hour. Her elder children got no quality time with their mum!

Don't get me wrong. Breast feeding is an amazing and natural thing. It's how we're designed. I don't think anyone on here is "anti breast feeding".

But it's like everything. Once a child can control their bladder, we toilet train them. So once the child is old enough to be fully nourished on solid food, they shouldn't need the breast anymore. If the parent wants to extend it, fair enough, just have some control.

FussyElmo
18-06-2011, 06:21 PM
The mindee is 3 at the moment not four, so they're not off to school any time soon so that's not really an issue... I think I would have been surprised at a mum wanting to come in and feed at that age too, but I also think its nice that mum and child still have that lovely bond.

Personally (as a CM) I wouldn't want to wait in at lunchtime every day for a mum feeding a 3 year old, but I have no problem with people who want to extend their feeding beyond the 'normal' 6 month mark. I fed my youngest til he was 11 months and wish I had carried on longer.

That depends all our children here start school at 3 as long as they are 3 beofre the 31st August they can starts school nursery from september so there is a chance the child could be going to school in 3 months

JCrakers
18-06-2011, 07:37 PM
Everyones got their own opinions..I think breast feeding is obviously the best.

It didn't work for my two unfortunately, but personally if it had worked for me I wouldnt have done for a long time. My own two children were bottle fed and were on a lidded cup at 1. Its just part of growing up..getting bigger and doing things for themselves.
I think breast feeding is a great bond between a mother and a baby and its the best bond but I think it shouldnt go until they are 3 or anywhere near that. I'm not saying anyones a loony just because they choose to, everyone has their own way of bringing up children. :D
Please dont shoot me down as this is MY opinion and we are all entitled to it arent we :D
Becky x

PixiePetal
18-06-2011, 07:44 PM
Everyones got their own opinions..I think breast feeding is obviously the best.

It didn't work for my two unfortunately, but personally if it had worked for me I wouldnt have done for a long time. My own two children were bottle fed and were on a lidded cup at 1. Its just part of growing up..getting bigger and doing things for themselves.
I think breast feeding is a great bond between a mother and a baby and its the best bond but I think it shouldnt go until they are 3 or anywhere near that. I'm not saying anyones a loony just because they choose to, everyone has their own way of bringing up children. :D
Please dont shoot me down as this is MY opinion and we are all entitled to it arent we :D
Becky x

My opinion is much the same as yours :)

I fed both of mine for about 6 months, by then they were on 3 meals a day of solids and gave me up. DD had a dummy for comfort and DS had his thumb.

but each to their own :thumbsup: I won't shoot anyone down :) we all do what is right for us.

I would find it difficult to be at home for a child to be fed by mum every day as we are often out and about. If that was a problem for mum then I would not take on the child

leeloo1
20-06-2011, 05:40 PM
Yes, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but the World Health Organisation recommends children are breast fed for a minimum of 2 years, and for as long after as mother and child are happy to do so, so I'm not sure how 'opinions' mesh with these 'facts'.

I saw the tv show about extended breastfeeding and of course most of it is for shock value (so their viewing figures are good). I'm not sure who the mother of the 7/8 year olds who was speaking for when she said 'most breastfeeders let their husband join in', as I know lots of BFers and nobody has mentioned their husband join in?! BUT I also remember watching a show about breastmilk, where adults were buying it (at huge cost) over the internet because it was helping to beat cancer!

To the poster who said "I can't see that there is much 'nutritional' value at this stage" - Breast milk changes as the child gets older. In studies breast milk was found to have more antibodies and be richer/more nutritional when children were over 1. Older children who breastfeed continue to gain enormous comfort and nutritional value from it, especially when they're ill. I spoke to a lady whose 5 year old (only just weaned) was going to be put onto a drip in hospital as so dehydrated. The mother tried to breastfeed (luckily there were younger children so mother still had milk) and the 5 year old could still feed and did, and no drip was needed.

I'm waffling now, but just because something is unusual (in our culture, worldwide average weaning age is 4) it doesn't mean its wrong.

sunbeams
20-06-2011, 07:07 PM
the World Health Organisation recommends children are breast fed for a minimum of 2 years, and for as long after as mother and child are happy to do so, so I'm not sure how 'opinions' mesh with these 'facts'.

In studies breast milk was found to have more antibodies and be richer/more nutritional when children were over 1. Older children who breastfeed continue to gain enormous comfort and nutritional value from it, especially when they're ill.

just because something is unusual in our culture, worldwide average weaning age is 4, it doesn't mean its wrong.

Sadly, in our culture, the breast is seen as something for sexual pleasure - not as nature intended. :mad:

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but when there are proven facts, medical or otherwise, who has the right to judge others?

BF is not harmful - whatever the child age. :thumbsup:

xx

karensmart4
20-06-2011, 07:34 PM
I bf my son until he was 2 1/2 but as others have said, once he was on solids he only needed the feeds in the morning and as a comfort routine before bed.

I have a friend who bfeeds her 'children' you could be having a coffee and a chat and any one of her 3 children can suddenly pull her top up and have a feed then walk away when finished....the thing is its so natural for her she keeps forgetting to pull her top back down and you have to remind her to cover her modisty :blush:

Karen

sunbeams
20-06-2011, 07:37 PM
I have a friend who bfeeds her 'children' you could be having a coffee and a chat and any one of her 3 children can suddenly pull her top up and have a feed then walk away when finished....the thing is its so natural for her she keeps forgetting to pull her top back down and you have to remind her to cover her modisty :blush:

Karen

Love it!! :laughing: :laughing:

Mookins
21-06-2011, 06:58 AM
just found this thread its actually national breastfeeding week:clapping:

greatest respect to anyone who does breastfeeding...me personally i managed nearly 4 months and i was absolutely shattered...was so ready for my dd to go on the bottle, i did find it very hard...would i do it again if i had another...to be honest not sure i would...but then i dont intend of ever having another so no need to worry lol xxx