its been better

[disney]

a bit of a difficut one really i have a child that has spent the past 2 weeks on holiday , my problem is before this child went thing were not that good as she is the eldest but sets a bad example to my younger children im afraid .

but to make things worse is the past weeks without her my children have been so much better behaved , their has been no bosy arguments & out when we go park or school they are walking and crossing the roads lovely .but when i have the older child she runs off in front and this makes the younger ones try to do the same . :angry:


also when we are in the house she tells them to do things they shouldnt , they do copy her , dont really want her to come back :eek: x sorry for saying that but its true !

[wendywu]

Make the older child hold onto the buggy when you are out walking. If she cannot act her age then treat her like the age she acts.:mad:

[Spangles]

Don't feel bad for saying that, I can totally understand where you are coming from.

Has she been with you very long? Have you talked to her parents about her behaviour? Could you discuss ways to help her behaviour with her parents and start a new award scheme or something with her?

Maybe once she's actually back again you will feel a little differently? If not, it might be that you need to consider ending the contract. You've got to think of yourself and the other children, you can't have a child having such a negative influence if there's no sign that it will improve. That's what I think anyway.

I completely sympathise with you on this as had a similar experience myself and I ended the contract. The child was fine and according to her mum is doing well at a before and after school club now - probably they have too many children to worry about to notice!

[sarah707]

Not all settings suit all children... always give yourself a get out clause! :D

[disney]

she will have been with me for a year in september spangles , and she will be 8 in june .yes i have spoken to mum before about running off and how it puts me under pressure as i cant chase after her with the younger ones . but mum has said then on the one day that she does not come with me she tends to go off on her own and before she went away had gone to school alone .


i have mentioned this child before on here you see mum had said she thinks its ok for her to go school on her own , but lets me take her because she needs me at 7 am to drop off . but the day i dont have her she goes scholl alone .mum did say yes i can understand why you would need her to walk as a group .


dont want to end the contract as i do like the girl and ineed the money but have to think of safety & welfare of the others and my sanity :panic: x

[breezy]

I think you should explain to the child why you need her to walk nicely and that if she cant do that then she will have to hold the buggy or your hand. Perhaps have a road safety topic for all of the children, or give her some responsibility when you're out such as holding a younger ones hand so she has to be sensible to teach the other child safety.
rewards work well perhaps if shes sensible for a week she could earn all the children a treat ?
Good luck! :)

[disney]

as i have had coming for a while now many times i have spoken to her about walking with us and every monday i remind her & so mon , tues both good with constant reminding , but back to square one on thurs and so on .:(


but you did make me think about road safety we have talked about it yes but was thinking of making a game up about who could be the most sensible when out & about if you get my drift x

[jaja]

have you spoken to the parent? i would, i had the same thing and i talked to the parent who tried to help but eventually enough was enough the younger children were suffering plus my older mindee was 11! and knew better. good luck xxx

[disney]

yes i have spoken to the parent & mum is aware and has said that she is used to going off on her own as thats what she would normally does :eek: think when she starts back on monday i will monitor things and make notes for a couple of weeks and any problems will talk to mum . do you think if things are bad i wuold be able to say that the other children in my care have behaved better when she was on her holls or not ? x

[Blaze]

Sorry 'm late to this...personally I think you shoulkd give notice & say the child's behaviour is affecting your other charge's behaviour & after seeking advice from other professionals (confidenciality protected), trying several behavioural technicques, as well as working in partnership, as there is no improvement you feel you have little option but to end the contract....
:)

[gailee]

hi have a similar situation i have 3 x 5 years old (twins and 1 that just shows off swears and blames someone else, very loud, runs off i don't walk to school because of this?? he courages the twins to play up i have to check his pockets he takes my toys they start punching each other and it gets out of hand!! i'm pulling my hair out now! i only have him 2 hours a day after school BUT come next month i'm giving him notice i've had enough!
i have 13 month old going full time Setember and i have a 5 month old baby starting too and her brother (after school) so i don't think i need the hassle of him
gailx

[miffy]

I think it's really difficult for you when mum allows the child to walk to school on her own one day a week (although I think that's a mistake anyway given her age and the way you describe her behaviour).

Breezy's suggestion of trying to give her some responsibility is worth a try but if you really don't want to have her back then like Blaze says I'd give notice. Life is too short and you don't need the hassle

Good luck
miffy xx

[angeldelight]

Hows it going with this child ?

Angel xx

[disney]

well today on the way to school she started to run off and i said that should walk nicely with us all & also she said to one of the 4 year olds touch that bush go on its sharpe . no i said he will hurt himself then i said you are 8 so you should set a good example as they sometimes copy you .as she has a step brother i said like your little brother sometimes you have to show them how to be good .she replied well my brother is nearly 4 he should no better not to copy me then .:( sorry about all this she said i said , just trying to give an idea thats all x