PDA

View Full Version : Really Silly Moan



VINASOL
04-06-2011, 08:09 AM
Two of my mindees aged 4, along with my DD start the same school in September.

There is a parent/teacher meeting during the time that I usually work that lasts an hour. Both set of parents will not have anyone to have their kids during this hour, and both will want to go so I'm stuck at home with the kids whilst the parents get to go to this meeting.

I'm really peed off as I want to go to the meeting (they don't allow children) so once again am missing out on a meeting at school (have missed lots of things my son has done already) :mad:

one parent keeps talking about a back-up/emergency childminder which I don't have and its really getting me down :mad:

what would you do?

FussyElmo
04-06-2011, 08:25 AM
A/ You book the time off and leave it up the the parents to make other arrangements.

B/ You arrange with the school for a meeting that is more convient(sp) for you.

I cant do my dd's meeting this time as its on a night when my eldest dd is at a dance show.

So I have asked them to either send me all the details or I will go in on another time :)

The Juggler
04-06-2011, 08:32 AM
do you know if it were me, I'd agree to have their child but ask to meet THEM before or after their meeting so they could have their children whilst I went to my own child's parent/teacher meeting.

The meetings are not going to last more than 5 mins so surely they could accommodate you.

otherwise, tell them you need half a day off.

onceinabluemoon
04-06-2011, 08:37 AM
A/ You book the time off and leave it up the the parents to make other arrangements.

B/ You arrange with the school for a meeting that is more convient(sp) for you.



Makes sense to me :)

Pipsqueak
04-06-2011, 08:57 AM
A/ You book the time off and leave it up the the parents to make other arrangements.

B/ You arrange with the school for a meeting that is more convient(sp) for you.

:)

Agreed. School has an obligation to meet with you at a time that is accessible to you as well.

Personally i would be booking the time of - your childs schooling is just as important as these other parents views

blue bear
04-06-2011, 09:11 AM
Talk to the school and explain your situation, when my youngest started school I went to the meeting and my son and mindee went in the next class (parent permission she was at meeting too) and joined in for the hour, head teacher did not want it advertised but was willing to help as I really had no alternative.

Helen79
04-06-2011, 09:29 AM
I've you've still got time I'd book the time off work, parent's have been able to take the time off work so you should too. Then it's up to them to sort it out with the school if they can take the children.
If you do go, who would look after your dd? Could they possibly be able to look after the mindees too?

If there's no way that you can make it, I'd arrange to meet with the teacher at a different time.

VINASOL
04-06-2011, 09:37 AM
thanks.

there is only one meeting which lasts an hour and ALL parents of children starting in Sep are going at the same time so no individual meetings and children aren't allowed.

I will have a chat to the school but am pretty sure I know what the answer is....think I will just toughen up and say that I'm closed until 10.30 or something...it's just these parents will have a fit :angry:

rickysmiths
04-06-2011, 09:49 AM
thanks.

there is only one meeting which lasts an hour and ALL parents of children starting in Sep are going at the same time so no individual meetings and children aren't allowed.

I will have a chat to the school but am pretty sure I know what the answer is....think I will just toughen up and say that I'm closed until 10.30 or something...it's just these parents will have a fit :angry:


Get tough and book the time off. It could be for anything and its non of the parents business. What would they do if you were suddenly ill and had to close? Do you know any other minders who could have the children for an hour and a half to help out?

If not its tough on the other parents but maybe they will have to team up and one of them have the kids and miss the meeting, then they can arrange to go in when you are minding.

Sorry but the very reason I started minding was so I could be there for my children, something I would have found near impossible in my old career this would be a no brainer for me, my children always did and still do come first.

Mouse
04-06-2011, 11:10 AM
Who's going to be looking after your daughter while you go to the meeting? Could you arrange for someone to come to your house & watch all 3 children while you go? Do you know a teenage babysitter who could do it?

If there really are no alternatives, you will have to book the time off and explain to the parents why.

VINASOL
04-06-2011, 01:17 PM
Who's going to be looking after your daughter while you go to the meeting? Could you arrange for someone to come to your house & watch all 3 children while you go? Do you know a teenage babysitter who could do it?

If there really are no alternatives, you will have to book the time off and explain to the parents why.

I was going to ask my DH to take a couple hours off work but there's no way on earth he will look after them for an hour...really doesn't like either of the girls and his patience is less than zero.

Will speak to school on Mon and see what they say...one parent in particular is a PITA and causes me no end of grief

Hebs
04-06-2011, 01:25 PM
thanks.

there is only one meeting which lasts an hour and ALL parents of children starting in Sep are going at the same time so no individual meetings and children aren't allowed.

I will have a chat to the school but am pretty sure I know what the answer is....think I will just toughen up and say that I'm closed until 10.30 or something...it's just these parents will have a fit :angry:

not a cat in :censored: chance would i miss such an important meeting, for the benefit of another family
it's just as important for you to go so you book the time off, let them have a fit, and let them deal with it............. they DON'T both have to be there so one of them can stay at home

they are putting themselves first..... so you can too :angry: :angry: :angry:

kindredspirits
04-06-2011, 01:26 PM
i wouldn't allow other parents to put themselves ahead of my child - no way. if they can't find alternative childcare for the hour you are going to take off thats their problem - not yours.
get tough! :thumbsup:

~Chelle~
04-06-2011, 03:18 PM
Book the time off hun, you are giving them plenty of notice to find someone else to have them.

They can talk about back up childminders till they are blue in the face, the fact is that if you are on holiday, it is up to THEM to sort out alternative childcare.

Out yourself and your child first xxxx

Greengrass74
04-06-2011, 03:21 PM
not a cat in :censored: chance would i miss such an important meeting, for the benefit of another family
it's just as important for you to go so you book the time off, let them have a fit, and let them deal with it............. they DON'T both have to be there so one of them can stay at home

they are putting themselves first..... so you can too :angry: :angry: :angry:

TOTALLY AGREE

solly
04-06-2011, 04:02 PM
Book the time off, going to the meeting is just as important to you as it is to them, get your DH to look after your DD and they will have to sort something out themselves.

Over the years i have put myself out for so many parents and there is never any gratitude so i just dont do it anymore

Chimps Childminding
04-06-2011, 04:03 PM
I agree. This meeting is as important for you as it is for the other parents. Tell them you need the time off (as long as you have got someone to have your child) and you will be available from whatever time you would get back!

The reason most of us do this job (or did, as my sons are now grown up) is so we can be there for our children and this meeting is important for your child. What if something really important is discussed and no one lets you know how bad would you feel :(

As for back up childminders, yes in theory they are a good idea, but be honest who would have 3 under 5 spaces available for you to use :rolleyes: June and I cover each other when we can, but certain days of the week we wouldn't be able to as we are up to our numbers anyway!

Good luck! Don't let them make you feel guilty for wanting the best for YOUR child :thumbsup:

jane5
04-06-2011, 04:24 PM
Same advice as every one else has given, tell the parents that this meeting is just as important to you as it is to them :thumbsup:

NI MINDER
04-06-2011, 05:08 PM
You have to put yourself first. I include in my contract that i will be taking a half day twice a year on the day my own childrens school interviews fall. My mindees are at same school but my half day takes priority no matter when their interviews fall.

curlycathy
04-06-2011, 05:51 PM
Absolutely put yourself first. My dd is starting school in September too and even tho my eldest has been through the same school - and out the other side! - the meeting was still important to me - its about YOUR child going to school - you are as entitled as anybody else to attend.

Tell the parents you've discussed it with school and they say you have to attend - if they try and say parents dont have to go smile sweetly and say that you are going but now feel so much better that they wont be missing out then!:D

(or am I being mean...??)x

Hebs
04-06-2011, 06:15 PM
Absolutely put yourself first. My dd is starting school in September too and even tho my eldest has been through the same school - and out the other side! - the meeting was still important to me - its about YOUR child going to school - you are as entitled as anybody else to attend.

Tell the parents you've discussed it with school and they say you have to attend - if they try and say parents dont have to go smile sweetly and say that you are going but now feel so much better that they wont be missing out then!:D

(or am I being mean...??)x

:clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

love it

but personally i'd be saying sorry not my problem :p

The Juggler
05-06-2011, 11:02 AM
thanks.

there is only one meeting which lasts an hour and ALL parents of children starting in Sep are going at the same time so no individual meetings and children aren't allowed.

I will have a chat to the school but am pretty sure I know what the answer is....think I will just toughen up and say that I'm closed until 10.30 or something...it's just these parents will have a fit :angry:

that's really awful, no children allowed to a day time meeting. When our school does thsi new reception children meeting, they ask parents to bring the reception children along and provide a creche service for the littlies. If they want it child free they should make it in the evening.:angry:

Flisspaps
05-06-2011, 10:31 PM
To be honest, the school are being pretty unreasonable. There are bound to be families who don't have anyone available to have their children whilst the meeting is on and therefore HAVE to take them to the meeting- regardless of what time it was.

If I were you (and the other parents) I would take my child along. It's not like there'll be bouncers on the door.

It sounds pretty unwelcoming to children, banning them from a meeting (nothing discussed at a pre-reception Parents Evening is going to be so important or confidential that it can't be said when there are children present)

candy cat
06-06-2011, 09:14 AM
I would tell them you are not missing the meeting and for them to meet you and you will have that hour off......then pick up children afterwards......not unreasonable and as a parent and cm I would think thats fair x

VINASOL
06-06-2011, 10:01 AM
**update**

went to school this AM and spoke to receptionist who told me that children are not allowed....I told her my predicament (am well known at the school :blush: ) and she said that she would have to ask the headteacher - but she did it straight away and the HT has agreed (as a last resort lol) that since I am a CM and that it would mean me missing the meeting the children could come along....although I did point out that I would NOT be working and that mindees would be with their own mums and their mum's responsibility!!

So, bit of a result really...(although I have no doubt one particular parent will ask me to arrange a back-up minder so that her child can go there instead lol)

caz3007
06-06-2011, 10:13 AM
Glad its worked out ok and its not responsibility to sort out a back up minder, but theirs surely, you can suggest someone. I have local minder who doesnt do EYFS, only after schools cos she doesnt want to do the paperwork, but is happy for my mums to contact her for a one off week when I am on holiday, I have passed the number on to those that have asked, but they have always sorted things themselves.

I would just make sure that you dont sit close to these parents as feel that they may take advantage of you being there and expect you to still mind the children

Zoomie
06-06-2011, 10:13 AM
**update**

went to school this AM and spoke to receptionist who told me that children are not allowed....I told her my predicament (am well known at the school :blush: ) and she said that she would have to ask the headteacher - but she did it straight away and the HT has agreed (as a last resort lol) that since I am a CM and that it would mean me missing the meeting the children could come along....although I did point out that I would NOT be working and that mindees would be with their own mums and their mum's responsibility!!

So, bit of a result really...(although I have no doubt one particular parent will ask me to arrange a back-up minder so that her child can go there instead lol)

Well done you :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Now tell the parents AND that they need to sort out their own back up childminder.