Am I in the right job?!

[buzzy bee]

Sometimes I wonder.... sometimes I have days where I feel like I've been cross and nagged a lot because the kids have been doing lots of things they shouldn't and I seem to keep having to ask them the same things over and over...

Sometimes the kids can't wait to leave and the 3 year old I have in particular has been with me months and we don't seem to have a particularly good bond... he is never happy to see me and he is very rarely happy, and hardly ever smiles at me.

Sometimes I just feel a bit disheartened by it and I wonder if I'm in the right job and maybe I'm not the right sort of person... maybe I'm not patient enough!!

Does anyone else feel this way?

[chibault]

Highly recommend reading, 'between parent and child' by Dr Haim Ginott or 'how to talk so kids listen and listen so kids talk' by adele faber and elaine mazlish. Helped me so much to learn how to deal with discipline and communication.
Hope these help,
Becky

[The Juggler]

hon I often have days where I feel like 'not the fun one' :( :blush: but if you are dealing with bheaviour issues, safety etc (especially after school with the mix of littlies and biggies) you have a responsibility to be firm.

I hate it sometimes and it's not every day but it's how it needs to be sometimes :rolleyes:

[Penny1959]

There are days when we never seem to have the day that we plan - the one filled with fun, learning opportunities and following the child's interests

- this can be for a variety of reasons - one of little ones is teething and crying and so needs a lot of comfort, or one is going through the 'everything is mine' stage, or one is at the 'testing the boundaries stage' or one is under the weather, or one is going through changes at home and so unsettled or one is in 'I don't want to do anything' moods and everything you suggest is rejected or even - dare I say it - I am stressed about something and having one of those ' I wish I could take some time out to deal with my stress' days.

These days are hard for myself and the mindees - but I find even when having one of those days that although if taking the day as a whole I think it has been terrible - I can also think about small thinmgs that have been good - some achievement, something funny said and so on.

Also when I reflect and think back over the last couple of weeks I know that the good days out number the not so good ones.

So you are not alone - I think if honest most of us would say that sometimes have not so good days.

Re your 3 year old - how is he at home? - With grandparents?- When at groups with you? - When visiting childminding friends with you? - is it just his way? Have you had opportunity to talk to parents when child not there? They may have some ideas or there may be some hidden additional need ie hearing or in expressing emotions - so worth having a chat.

However sometimes a setting is just not right for a particular child (nothing wrong with the setting) and therefore occassionally it is in the child's best interests to work with parents to explore other childcare opportunities.

Hope all works out - chances are that this is just one of those 'difficult' times - which often occur when establishing your childminding and you and the children are 'finding your feet'

Penny :)

[handeme]

I do sometimes feel the same and I am infact having one of those days now!!

I must have said 'No' one million times today only for them to go ahead and do it anyway !!

c x

[mufftie]

I'll be honnest and confess I hate my job 90 % of the time , I don't feel grumpy , the kids never want to go home I just feel very under valued , I'm earning more than I possibly could working for someone else yet no one sees me as 'having a job' even one of my 4 yr old mindees asked the other day why I didn't go to work !
I can't wait to get out to work even if it does mean A big drop on wages

[vicky5432]

I agree with what everyo:panic: ne has said, i have off days as well and as i have only recently started a few things were allowed to be gotten away with and now i am having to start getting a bit firmer.
I also agree with mufftie about not feeling valued, i get really frustrated when i am refered to as 'the babysitter', babysitters can have a nice quiet eve while kids r in bed and catch up on tv. They dont hav paperwork and assessments, policies and everything else that us childminders have to do and continue to do on a regular basis. (sorry about my little rant!!)

[grindal]

There are things I do not like about childminding too, and at times I wonder if I am doing the right thing.
But, I find it helps to look at the bigger picture. I left a successful teaching career to spend time at home with my family. Yes, i have to share my time, no it is not always ideal, yes a double buggy annoys me on a school run, but, I know I am able to spend more time at home with my family than if I was working back as a teacher. And I am happy with the compromise.
Try thinking about what you did before minding, how does it compare?

[Vickster]

Oh I think we must all think like that. I do especially this week as I am on holiday next week and have been mentally winding down. Every job has its down sides and I think as long as the children feel safe are fed and watered and have things to do then that is the main thing. I just took two into town on the bus and had to stop for a coffee as that was my coping strategy as one was asking to get out of the push chair all the time and the other was moaning their legs were hurting. Last day today for 12 days.:clapping:

Big hugs, just think of your worst job and then think how lucky you are !!

[mufftie]

Try thinking about what you did before minding, how does it compare

Lol It feels like a lifetime ago , but I was a mechanic on a garage loved it , especially the rappor / bantor with the customers

Think my problem now is all my children are older now so I have no need to be at home with them

At times I love cm but as soon as my debts are paid then i shall be to going out to work again , I'd like to get my hgv liscence and drive for the AA
(now I'm sounding extremely odd lol)

[buzzy bee]

I do love it and I know how lucky I am getting to be with my son, my worry is that I'm not good at it, especially when the boy I mentioned is never pleased to see me!

[Cazz]

I can relate to what you're saying - I often have days like this at the moment.

I'm minding a 3 year old boy who sounds very similar to your little one. Yesterday morning was not good - while the children were having snack my mum arrived to help me take the children to the park (she's my assistant and I have a variation at the moment to have 4 children 3 years and under, including my own daughter - hence needing the extra pair of eyes etc!).

I said to them that after snack we could go to the park and the 3 year old mindee said he didn't want to go. I said that it's a lovely day and we'll have lots of fun - the other children were excited and I started to apply suncream and put shoes on etc. 3 year old mindee threw himself into a major tantrum (because he thought/hoped I would say we wouldn't go because he didn't want to) and he got himself in a right state culminating in him kicking me in the stomach and me phoning mum! At that moment I felt like the worst childminder in the world and was close to tears.

Anyway, I perserved with our planned outing and put him in the car (minus shoes) and after about 10 minutes sitting in the buggy at the park he had calmed down enough to join in with the others and have great fun.

My daughter went to my mum's house at lunchtime and when the younger two mindees had a nap I spent some time giving him individual attention and we ended up having a lovely afternoon, so fortunately the day ended on a more positive note.

I would also mention that this mindee often says that he doesn't like me (because I am firm and consistent with him and he has issues with people that discipline him) BUT he now comes in quite happily which mum says he didn't do at nursery even after being there for over 2 years. He also often runs in the opposite direction when mum/step dad arrive to collect - I think he does like me deep down but doesn't want/can't show it, so don't take your mindee's reaction to you personally.

I do enjoy my job but I have to say it's been clouded and very testing in the last couple of months. These children (the 3 of them are siblings) are finishing with me at the beginning of July and I can't deny that I'm looking forward to having some calmer days where my daughter is not being influenced by this mindees behaviour.

If you continue to feel like this and it's down to one mindee then in my opinion you need to consider if it's worth continuing to mind him - you need to put yourself and your own family first.

[buzzy bee]

Thanks, that does reassure me a bit... how long did it take for him to settle with you? Mine's been with me for 6 months now so I'd have thought we'd have bonded a bit more by now!

[kells_bells]

I have a little girl who's 2, she says every morning. 'No not kellys' to mum, I had no idea at all! She is very happy whilst here I have never had one tantrum off her even though mum and dad are struggling at home with this. Dad has even asked if I just wasn't telling him:laughing:
I asked her why she didn't want to come to kellys she said 'want gramma' where she gets to ride on the dogs back and infinite sweets, I want to go to grammas too :laughing:

I have had another who's mum had to bribe her to come saying you will see Bella ( my dog) but when she was here she was fine.

It is because we run a totally different ship to at home, our rules are for e eryone in the setting and children will always push the boundaries. I've had days where I've not wanted to open the door but next day has been a ball. Xx