behaviour help please :(((((

[suzy:-)]

hello im fairly new to the forum and would like some advice on behaviour
i look after a 3.5 year old girl in nursery every day for 2 hours only
my problem is when mum arives !!!!!
1) i cant get her to go home
2)she becomes very (naughty ) ie jumping up and down on furniture ,running up and down stairs, up on my sideboards and point blank refuses to go home
3)takes her shoes off throws her bags around
however finally when she is ready to go (could be up to 1 hour after her mum arives ) only then will she leave
i also have a 2 year old daughter copying her behavour and i dislike it, but once her mum arives i dont feel its my place to say anymore really ,i think its down to her
but it really gets me down really think i need to toughen up but dont want to be rude
oh please help advise someone ............... does anyone else have this trouble ????? and what do u do
thanks in advance x x x x

[Pauline]

Hi Suzy

You are not alone! In all my 27 years of childminding just about every single child has behaved like this when mum/dad/carer arrives! Little darlings turn into absolute monsters! I'm sure others will be along to say the same. It seems to be so common.

My opinion is that the children just know that both of you don't want to say anything and are not sure who is in charge.

If it is taking an hour for her to get ready to go then you really need to do something, it is not fair of mum to let it go that far.

Either take charge yourself and make it clear to the child that they must put on their shoes - very hard as they will probably continue to play up.

You could have them ready for collection with shoes on.

Or have a word with mum and ask her how she would like to deal with it, she probably feels as fed up as you!

One of you needs to take charge for the sake of your sanity! :laughing:

[The Juggler]

its not just you hon, most of the children I've ever had do this :) if she's 3 I suggest speaking to her first, prep her for mum's arrival and we are going to be good for mummy, put our shoes on nicely. If she doesn't in front of mum say 'maybe mummy we'll have to get her shoes on and sitting waiting ready for you'. You and mum need to be on same page. Give her option next pick up again, to behave nicely or get shoes on and wait for mum.

If this doesn't work, I'd resort to asking mum to text when outside then get her ready and meet mum and door.:thumbsup:

[kindredspirits]

I have had this before - and I now take the attitude that in my house my discipline still rules - i'll give the parents say 5 mins to control the situation and if not then I will step in and get firm - its embarrassing all round if not - you have the parent feeling like they can't tell their child off in front of the childminder and the childminder feeling like they can't tell the child off in front of their parent - and the child takes advantage of it!

have a word with mum and explain that you'd like to get this pick up under control as its affecting the other children - then have mindees shoes/coat on 10 mins before mum is due. take her to the door to answer it along with bags etc and with a cheery wave say 'see you tomorrow' - then guide her out and shut the door. :thumbsup:

[JCrakers]

Agree with all.

I have this also. I had one little boy who was 5yrs who used to hide everytime hs mum came. At first it was a game..."wheres B..Oh he must have already gone home" etc. but after a while it gets wearing.
Another boy used to jump on my sofa, climb over the stairgate, hit mum etc.

SO I clamped down. I make sure I am still in charge when parents come. Until they leave its my rules :D

CHat with Mum about the path you are going to take. Say either you or her need to take charge
An hour is a hell of a long time...phew

Becky

[Vickster]

I had an issue with this and asked Dad to text 5 mind before he arrived so I could have them ready, they are now fine with going! It wasn't that they didn't want to go, just pushing boundaries.

[Louise0208]

My first mindee was like this for months before i plucked up the courage to take control of home time.

we now get ready for home & play out in the front garden while waiting for mum.....shes still are mare for mum on the way home though :rolleyes: ...but at leat my LO cant see it :)

[suzy:-)]

i can't thank you all enough for your replies, i honestly thought i was the only one , and self doubted myself as a good childminder
going to have a word with mum later :) thanx all x x x
suzy x x x

[alwaysright]

as everyone says think we've all been through this, she has obviously got onto the fact that no-one will take charge of the situation and is playing to the audience! i would do as others say. ie txt before she arrives have the child ready but i would let mum know that this is whats going to happen as its gone on for too long and you really dont have an hour a day just to see a child out! i always put things into money/time values, so an hour a day = 20hours a month (over 5 days a week) what else would you rather do with almost two full days a month :laughing: