wont settle himself to sleep.

[vicky5432]

Hi this is actually an issue with my own son bt it has an effect on the children i mind. He wont settle himself to sleep at all. He will settle if i plug in a bottle, whilst hanging over the top of his cot. He is 8 mths old. I hav tried controlled crying bt find he gets himself into such a state he is almost hyperventilating and then i give in and giv him the milk, or throughout the night water. He settles really quickly with a bottle bt i just dnt have the time to do this as i hav others to mind and whilst i am in feeding him i am nt giving the others as much supervision as i would like.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to resolve this, i went on a parent chat room and asked bt it wasnt as good as this site so thought i would try here as well.
Would really like to gt him to settle on his own as he cnt settle if he wakes through the night, which means i also have an interupted night.

[sarah707]

If you are going to do controlled crying then you must do the same thing every time, not give in, however hard it is.

Once you have given in he knows he only has to keep crying and you will again.

Just pop in, settle him down and walk away again. So long as he is clean and full then he'll not come to any harm.

Good luck x

[Helen79]

Could you maybe give him his bottle with a cuddle or in the buggy in the same room as the other children so you can still supervise them, then either let him sleep in the buggy once he's asleep or transfer him into the cot.
Does he have a dummy? If he's happy to drink water in the night it sounds like he settles with the sucking rather than needing the milk. He may settle with a dummy instead of a bottle.
Maybe try weaning him off the bottle by settling him by rocking him in the buggy first.
8months is still very young to settle themselves to sleep, I haven't looked after any babies who can settle to sleep at that age without a bottle/cuddle/dummy or rocking in the buggy.
I don't think controlled crying is recommended for babies that young so I would try other techniques first.

[vicky5432]

hi thanks for your advice, he wont take a dummy he just spits it out. I will try giving him his milk and then transfer him, at least i can still monitor any other children with me.
If it doesnt work i will go down the controlled crying route, bt i find this really difficult so will do it as a last resort.
Thanks again

[Rmead]

I have a similar problem with my daughter who is 14 months, she will only settle being held/rocked. I won't do controlled crying as I don't agree with it - each to their own. At the moment I rock her in the hallway while the children are in the living room so I can see/hear them doing a quiet activity. Then pop her upstairs when she's asleep - it's getting back breaking now though! I bring out jigsaws, drawing and lots of books, or when my mindee has a nap I put her to sleep once he's down, obviously it's easier as in the morning I just have one mindee.

I've got 2 weeks off in June and will be working on her self-settling then by standing over the cot and putting her back down if she stands up until she gets it! May take the whole two weeks. She is the same if left to cry, she gets in such a state and can be sick too and it makes her completely wide awake. She had severe reflux when little so had to be held upright all night by us which has made life harder in terms of learning it!
I'd definitely try buggy if he can sleep in one (not tht my daughter will) or persevere with trying dummies - different shapes etc if you're happy with him having one/using that for comfort good luck :)

[Tealady]

I didn't like controlled crying but I found softer methods (that worked for my DD) only wound up my son.

In the end I looked on Amazon at various books (then borrowed them from the library) and chose a few different ones. After reading them I used the Sleepeasy Solution which was fab. It was a bit like controlled crying but not so harsh as walking out and leaving them to it indefinately. I found it very effective. However you need to find a method that suits your instincts and your childs temprement.