View Full Version : am sat here in tears :(
i posted a thread the other day 'in a sticky situation'
I emailed the first parent last night, and told her that i was sorry, i had offered my place to the lady i saw yesterday, because she was looking for an almost immediate start, and that as she was intent on seing the other childminder before she gave me her decision, it had meant possibly loosing the other parents, (as i had no firm indication that parent 1 would have taken my places or not, although she seemed keen)
obviously i also told her that i hoped she finds a good minder for her 2 lovely boys.
i got an email back this evening, telling me she feels physically sick, sayng that i had gone back on my word, but not to worry. and saying that if she'd known i might have offered the places to another parent, that she would have said yes to me straight away. the way she has emailed has really shocked and upset me, why did she need to tell me these things? if she had gone with another minder, after keeping me waiting, i would have been disappointed but would have told her that i hope she'd be happy with the other minder!
this has really upset me, because she knew full well how eager i was for a quick decision (see my other thread) and on friday (the day she was meant to let me know) she asked me 'do you really want a decision today?' as if to indicate that i was only lying about the other parent, and that i was using it as an excuse to get their answer quicky! its her fault, not mine, if she'd really wanted me, she'd have said on friday wouldnt she. its just really upset me!!
Twinkles
28-04-2008, 07:57 PM
Oh hun don't be so upset.
Some parents take things so personally.
She should have taken you at your word that you needed to know asap.
Just think you must be a great minder to have people fighting over your places.
Cheer up :thumbsup:
Spangles
28-04-2008, 08:00 PM
Try not to let it upset you.
I think you've had a narrow escape from the sounds of it. Would you really want to work with someone that nasty? She's shown her true colours and I think you should try and be pleased that you've not got to deal with her again.
I would be upset like you too, I always get upset when people are funny with me but then I think about it later and realise that it's their problem, not mine. You're the nice person here who's done nothing wrong, she's just plain nasty.
xxx
ah thankyou twinkles!! :) youve made me feel better already. im just so shocked that she went for me in that way, and the first thing she wrote was
yes, thanks. thats such a bummer because (blah blah blah)
id never dream of reacting to somebody like that, unless they really deserved it, but i totally dont!!
Rach30
28-04-2008, 08:01 PM
How rude some people can be !!!! :angry: Try not to dwell on it tho , sounds like you had a lucky escape cos she might have been rude to you over every little thing if you did mind her boys . Its her loss not yours. Well done on getting the other mindee tho ! If i was you i would froget about this nasty women and concerntrate and your lovely new mindee . Good luck ! :D
Oh dear Amy. I can understand why you are upset but don't be. :)
This womans attitude has just proved that you made the right decision going with the other parents...
She had her opportunity, you gave her plenty of time, its her lose.
:group hug:
Jinx x
thankyou lorri for your kind message, and yes, you are totally right, i have had a narrow escape, and now i come to think of it, i do think she may have been quite a fussy parent, coz she emailed me the other day saying..
when i come on tuesday (she was coming to see how i was with the children and then make her decision?!) some things i must see. your public liability insurance (ive been told its a requirement) and your CRB's, im not sure you showed them to me on monday?
fair enough her asking to see them, but dont you think she sounds a bit bossy from that? it did make me wonder for a split second if she'd be a bit annoying as a parent! but i brushed it off, because she had seemed so lovely last week when we met.
oh another thing she said in her email just now........
' i pressume then that these people have paid their retainer fee?!'
what a flamin cheek! and DOH keep up as well lady, the only reason i was asking her for a retainer, is because she didnt need me till end of june!!?
im so upset im shivering!! i guess you have to be a toughy in this field of work eh girls!
xxx
thankyou jinx and rach, im starting to feel alot better now!! youve helped so much, thankyou!
the parents from yesterday, i could just tell they were genuinely nice people, and she text me today saying that she thought we were a lovely family, and that she is looking forward to me looking after her little boy, i was so chuffed when she text me that! now thats the kind of parent you want to be involved with right?!
sorry girls, you prob think im such a whingey weakling lol, but im quite new to this, and i think half the time ive got MUG written on my forehead, NOTE TO SELF- TOUGHEN UP LADY!
lol
xx
Twinkles
28-04-2008, 08:11 PM
i guess you have to be a toughy in this field of work eh girls!
xxx
Yeah !! Tough as marshmallow me ....grrrr
Yeah !! Tough as marshmallow me ....grrrr
lol twinkles! i never knew that some parents, who seem the loveliest people when you first meet- could turn out to be so rude. i defo need to toughen up!
Alibali
28-04-2008, 08:15 PM
Glad you're feeling a bit better now, and I hope everything goes well with your new mindee.
Ali :)
Polly2
28-04-2008, 08:19 PM
So sorry you have been upset
I think you have definately picked the nicer parent and made the right decision.
Hope all goes well xx
thankyou very much hollie!!
Rubybubbles
28-04-2008, 08:24 PM
oh hun, sounds lik eoyu've had a lucky escape to me;)
glad you filled the space already hun :D
Pauline
28-04-2008, 08:28 PM
I don't think you ever get truly tough, it still hurts when parents are rude.
Sometimes things don't always come across how you mean in written word. (Probably like this isn't now :blush:) and I don't mean she had any right to be rude to you, but perhaps she was cross with herself for missing out on you, and it came across wrong. Bet she is kicking herself now for not snapping you up.
You made the right decision, you have to take what comes first and is best for you, too many parents will keep you hanging on, only to let you down.
Chin up kid, we all know how you feel, big hugs xxx
breezy
28-04-2008, 08:53 PM
Sounds like you had a lucky escape, and don't toughen up too much, you'll end up like that parent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is hard sometimes, but you did the right thing and you just feel bad because you're a kind sensitive person.
Good luck with this family, forget the others and move on :)
i just posted and it hasnt appeared!!? my damn computer!!
ruby- thanks, yes im so pleased that i filled my vacancy! ive been waiting since january, there are so many minders in my area!!
pauline- thankyou for your reply, and i think you're so right, i think she is more angry at herself, than with me. but it just upsets me to think that, even when i told her i had another parent coming, she still didnt give me an answer! and now she tells me 'oh if id known you would have said yes to another parent' but the thing is, she had her chance! if she wanted me so badly she should have told me there and then not to invite the other parent over, because she wanted me, but she didnt!
thanks for your support, and hugs!!
breezy- ah thankyou for your kind words!! i really feel so much better! :)
ps- im trying to find the chat area? ive found the lounge, but cant see if there is any chat thread where you all gather to have a good old gas!!?
jordanann
28-04-2008, 09:09 PM
Oh Honey, i think like the others have said, you have had a lucky escape.
Chin up babe and enjoy your new mindee:thumbsup:
Love Lisa
xx xx xx
Blaze
28-04-2008, 09:35 PM
I agree...sounds like you had a lucky escape! Good luck with your new mindee!:clapping:
Pipsqueak
28-04-2008, 09:44 PM
Try not to be too upset - some parents really do take the biscuit. They expect you to be there at a click of their fingers.
Glad you have got your mindees and like everyone says sounds like you have had a narrow escape! You really wouldn't want to work for someone like that.
wendywu
28-04-2008, 10:11 PM
Welcome to the world of being a whipping post:angry: No there are some lovely parents out there and i have been very lucky for the last 11 years.
Childminding tip: When you have just gained new mindees you jump up and down for joy :clapping: crying is a no no, so dry thoes tears and look to the future:)
angeldelight
28-04-2008, 10:15 PM
Just catching up
What a horrible person she sounds - you did not owe her anything at all
Hope you are not upset any more the others are right you sound like you had a lucky escape
Good luck with the new parent hope it all works out with her
Angel xx
sarah707
29-04-2008, 06:50 AM
It's her loss... I hope the new family works out for you... look forwards now and leave her behind. xx
Tatia
29-04-2008, 07:05 AM
ps- im trying to find the chat area? ive found the lounge, but cant see if there is any chat thread where you all gather to have a good old gas!!?
The lounge is the spot for chatting.:cool:
Fandangles
29-04-2008, 09:55 AM
I wouldn't feel remotely guilty. If there are a lot of minders in your area with spaces then she won't find it that hard to get a suitable replacement.
You are running a business not a charity and have to do what is right for you and your family.
LittleMissSparkles
29-04-2008, 09:59 AM
sweetheart you did the right thing, ignore the email and enjoy your contract with your new mindees xxxx
Mollymop
29-04-2008, 11:17 AM
I hope you are feeling better today X
Remeber it is your business and your rules, if she wanted you straight away for definate then she would have let you know, not kept you waiting.
Ignore her, she has no idea how hard it can be to get mindees in the first place.
Big hugs X
Banana
29-04-2008, 11:31 AM
agree with the others!
think that you made the right decision in going with the other parent!!
dont let it worry you
xx
Rubybubbles
29-04-2008, 12:43 PM
The lounge is the spot for chatting.:cool:
yeah not an istant thing like msm, I'm always chasing my tail on it:laughing:
mum2two
29-04-2008, 01:49 PM
You have to do what's best for you. At the end of the day, the parents only care about themselves, and wouldn't think twice about letting you down, and the number of parents who don't even bother getting back to you...
You do what's right for you - you can't be left hanging on. I tell all prospective parents that until the contract is signed the space is available, so if they chose to take 3 weeks to decide - it's up to them - but I might have filled the space!
When I first started, I would call people who hadn't got back to me if I had another enquiry as I didn't want to 'let them down'. But like I said they don't care about us - so I gave up on that - it's their problem if the space goes!
Kelly x
Chimps Childminding
29-04-2008, 05:38 PM
Good luck with the lo you have taken on - hope it works out really well and you can put the other lady down to experience! :)
samgeordie
29-04-2008, 06:33 PM
sorry to hear you are so upset but like the others have said you have had a lucky escape:group hug:
lady boss
29-04-2008, 07:50 PM
Agree with the others.
You totally done the right thing, she was out of order to treat you that way. I agree that she was just cross with herself and took it out on you. I say you have had a lucky escape, imagine having to deal with her on a daily basis!!!
Good luck with your new mindees xx