How do I handle this 3 year old girl?

[juslh]

Hiya, Im still fairly new to childminding and have had my current mindees only a few weeks. They have both settled brilliantly, and seem very at home. The eldest charge is a girl of 3 and a half, and Im finding her a bit hard to deal with. She is lovely 70% of the time. I find her difficult the other 30%. She has got worse the more settled she is! She openly ignores my repeated instructions eg time to pack away ('No, Im busy playing'), she will do it with a lovely smile on her face, not remotely concerned if I get cross. She frequently knocks her baby sister over (9 months) and smiles when she cries; or hugs her so hard she cries. And thinks its funny. She snatched a toy from another child today and then held it at arms length from him, laughing the more the child cried. I have seen her try to wind other children up before, she seems to take pleasure out of their upset.

Actually, its this aspect of her behaviour that Im finding hard inparticular. How do I deal with it? I use 'time out' for bigger misdemeanours here, but she smiles and says 'good, I want some quiet'. yet all of it said/done so politely and quietely, with a lovely smile. Argggh! help!

[dollydally]

Gosh, i could have typed that! Except mine was a horror for 70% of the time and lovely for 30%..... I hope you get some good advice, I did when I asked but unfortunately it's been very hard to instill so i gave notice to mine today. Good luck. x

[juslh]

Oh crikey, hope it doesnt come to that! Thanks for the reply, sorry to hear it didn't work out for you.

[Helen79]

'good, I want some quiet'

Maybe she does genuinely need some time to herself and is behaving this way so that she gets put in time out or is lashing out at other children because she needs some space. If she's the oldest she may be finding it hard being with the younger children all day. If she's just got used to having a baby sister and then mum has gone to work and she's now got more younger children to get used to it may just be a bit overwhelming for her.
Have you got a quiet corner that she could go to sit to read some stories by herself, maybe a pop up tent with some cushions in that she could have some quiet time.
ds is 3 and sometimes gets a bit frustrated with the younger mindees. He has a stair gate on his bedroom door (we're in a flat so it's all 1 level) so when he's had enough we close it for 10mins so he can play a game without a baby ruining it or just sit on his bed and read.

[juslh]

Thanks Helen, I hadn't thought of that. I do have a pop up tent and will give it a try.