View Full Version : unable to take turns?

10-05-2011, 11:10 AM
my mindee is unable to wait and take his turn with anything, for instance he wont wait at meal times as soon as he sees me getting the plates our or things ready, he goes crazy screaming, crying and sometimes smacking.

i have tried living him in another room and that doesn't work. i really dont know what to do?

c x

miss mopple
10-05-2011, 11:20 AM
How old is he?

10-05-2011, 11:51 AM
Sorry I forgot to mention.

I go to a cm drop in session where they are given snack, they all sit around and are given snack in turns but he makes a fuss until he is given his

If he finishes his dinner first he shouts at my other children for there food, he cant be hungry he eats huge portions.

He is one year old. My other child who is 1, sits and waits calmly is not fussed if he is last to the table, will wait nicley for everyone to finish before pudding.

I am really struggling with it.

c x

10-05-2011, 12:02 PM
Hes very young & it will improve over the next few months, however I had this with my own son as I started up childminding. It made things really difficult, he just didnt want to share me with anyone so at mealtimes, with toys, drinks snacks, cuddles he insisted on being the first or pushing somone out of the way. I just couldnt get him to take turns until someone gave me some advise.

They advised me to either make my own or buy listening mats. Because hes so young only work in groups of 2 or 3. Give each child a mat to sit on (including yourself) & do something together. It could be as simple as exploring a small treasure basket or having a story. Or sharing some fruit. Get in the habit of doing it. It will help him to learn how to wait his turn. Acknowledge each child, make eye contact & offer praise. You could always use a gel timer. Ive got one of those too & its useful for older children. You can give them a turn for each cycle of the gel or sit them at the table & tell them tea will be out by the time the gel has ran through. It did work for me, after only a few weeks we had noticed a difference.
You can buy the mats & timers from here -http://www.millyandmileslearningltd.co.uk/products



10-05-2011, 12:08 PM
Thanks, I do realise that he is only one and is quite young but as per other children he should be able to sit and wait and not scream and shout.

I can cope with the not sharing and not willing to wait when it comes to me and playing and that is something we can work on but it is awful when it comes to meals and snack time. I have tried taking turns when giving dinners out but that doesnt seem to work putting a baby gate on when making dinners but that seems to make him worse.

I was going to have a word with mum today (she has noted that he wont wait for food at home) but i did not know if i was being too harsh ?!?

c x

10-05-2011, 12:13 PM
Is it just food or is it toys too?

10-05-2011, 12:15 PM
he doesn't scream and shout with toys just food.

c x

10-05-2011, 12:28 PM
Is there something you could bring out for him just as you're preparing lunch. If they're not already at the table. Some plates cups for him to play with, maybe laminated pictures of food or special toy that is only out at that time. Not sure if that will make him more excited/apprehensive for lunch but might be worth a try.

10-05-2011, 12:30 PM
You could try a distraction while he waits for his meals. Not sure what you could try when your at groups though having snack.

Perhaps just do lots of turn taking activities & do nothing different at snack/meal times. It will be hard, but maybe over time he will realise that he never gets left out.

10-05-2011, 12:49 PM
my ds was like this and still is to a certain extent even now he's 3 but only at home, not at groups. I just ignore it and tbh have never thought it was an issue. a one year old doesn't understand too wait, they see food and want it now. When they were smaller they cried and were given a bottle/bf straight away so have never really had to learn to wait for food. Give lots of praise to the children who are sitting nicely waiting and he will eventually grow out of it.
As soon as he's finished his food get him down from the table or give him something that takes a while to eat to keep him from screaming for the other's food, something like sweetcorn that he can pick at or something like playdough to keep him occupied.
At groups maybe don't sit him down until it's his turn, maybe take him for a nappy change so he doesn't see the food or ask the group leader if he can be given his food first so he's not screaming.