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View Full Version : HELP want to terminate a new contract



lippy
08-05-2011, 08:52 PM
hi, i recently took on two new children, baby 8months and her brother who is 5. i have so far done two days with them and in those two days their behavior was horrid.
the baby literally cried non stop for 7hours, nothing i did would comfort her and the brother thinks that throwing bricks towards other children, swinging off washing line, kicking balls into air, onto roof and over fence, basically completely disruptive behavior and the children were no different when mother came to collect.

Ive decided that i no longer want to commit to this family as their children are having a dramatic impact on my minded children's behavior.
Ive been approached about looking after two under 2yrs old sisters and i would be worried about them around the brother.

the mother signed contacts on last visit but left them behind.

what would you do?
i dont want to talk to the parents about their behavior as they already know and think its ok or 'normal' and i don't feel i can approach them.

please help...

mushpea
09-05-2011, 05:55 AM
regardless of wether the parents think this is normal or not I would still speak to the parents,, ask for a meeting, sit down and explain the behaviour and how it is affecting the other children, then you have two choices,, you can either give notice there and then obvioulsy if you have a settling in period then you can terminate straight away if not you will need to work your notice period OR you could tell the parents that you will give them x amount of weeks to see if they settle in and if its no better by x date then you will terminate the contract. I have had a child in the past whos behavioiur was awful but after a month i could see an improvment so i stuck with it and they settled and are now well behaved, it wasnt a quick process though. it may be that the 5yrold is just testing the boundries to see what he can get away with and once he realises that you wont stand for it then he may settle down, have you spoke to the school to see if his is like it there and what their stratergies with him are? it may be you all work together to deal with this? as for the baby its all new to him/her and at that age is probably a seperation thing which would get better with time.
good luck with what you decide

The Juggler
09-05-2011, 08:49 PM
I think unless you are in a settling in period with no notice I would go through the motions. You've nothing to lose by meeting with these parents and telling them this behaviour is totally unacceptable. The baby - well it takes a while to settle in but the behaviour of the year old is not on.

Ask them how they discipline at home when this behaviour occurs. If they say this is normal, tell them it is not good enough at your setting and you would like to work with them on it. Ask them what they suggest, tell them what you suggest. Agree on it but warn them if things don't improve you'll be giving notice.:)

miffy
09-05-2011, 08:54 PM
If I've read you post correctly you've only looked after these children for 2 days?

That isn't very long for an 8 month old baby to settle and it's possible the older sibling is just testing the boundaries.

If you are within the settling in period (which it sounds as though you are) you can terminate with no notice. I would only do this if you're absolutely positive you can't work with the parents to sort out the children's behaviour.

Miffy xx

ChocolateChip
09-05-2011, 09:11 PM
I would give it at least a week.
As already said it's probably just that the baby is a bit unsettled and you probably need to be a lot firmer with the 5yr old- start as you mean to go on!
I have found that children adapt to what is acceptable at your house fairly quickly, even if it's not always supported at home but you will need to put the boundaries in place pretty sharpish.
You will have a better idea then if you will be able to carry on working with them or not, and either go down the route of speaking to the parents or calling it a day.

The Juggler
10-05-2011, 06:26 AM
I think unless you are in a settling in period with no notice I would go through the motions. You've nothing to lose by meeting with these parents and telling them this behaviour is totally unacceptable. The baby - well it takes a while to settle in but the behaviour of the year old is not on.

Ask them how they discipline at home when this behaviour occurs. If they say this is normal, tell them it is not good enough at your setting and you would like to work with them on it. Ask them what they suggest, tell them what you suggest. Agree on it but warn them if things don't improve you'll be giving notice.:)

that should say 5 year old :blush:

peach
10-05-2011, 09:38 AM
I would speak to the parents, maybe there is a problem and mum is embaressed to ask for help.

as a parent of a adhd child it is very hard to admit there is a problem.

Maybe the baby is just unsure and un setlled its still early days x

Hope you manage to sort things out one way of another x

candylove13
10-05-2011, 11:43 AM
All of mindees pushed the boundaries when they first arrived. First week, I eill let them off within reson, but by week 2 we sit down for the house rule talk. Its nice to let the kids make up the rules too as it sinks in.
As for the baby I agree, you need to allow more time. Its going to take time and at 8 months they can be quite clingy to Mom.
I would mention behaviour to parents and give it 2-3 weeks. As said earlier, if you have a settling in period your bound to anything.
Good luck :)

keatingschick
10-05-2011, 11:52 AM
Do you not use a settling in period? I use NCMA contracts and on the front page is a settling in period, outlining the month (or whatever u decide) of setting in, when I get parents to sign the contract I explain that this means that within that month either of us can end the contract without notice for whatever reason - i.e. if either of us feel the child isnt settling, or circumstances change etc, and then explain that after the month if we are happy to continue then full terms come into play.
Having said that, 2 days is rather a short time and I would expect disrupted behaviour. I often find children play up MORE when parents are there and I feel its like challenging you as to whether you will tell them when parents are there and I find parents just don't tell them (maybe they think that while they are in your house then its YOUR job, but I personally would feel embarrassed at times at some behaviour.
I understand what you are saying re the older childs behaviour, I have just got rid of (that sounds bad doesnt it:o ) a child who was how you describe, but I had looked after him for 2 years and his behaviour was making me ill. I had spoken to mum at times but it was like flogging a dead horse.
I'd either speak to mum, OR try and tackle the behaviour yourself with a consitant approach and see if maybe once the child settles the behaviour changes, but it is quite early days (but don't let it go on, like I said 2 years and it was making me ill, I feel a huge weight off my shoulders now).