View Full Version : How to become tough with parents????

08-05-2011, 08:41 AM
Basically I'm weak :blush:

One of my Childs parents treats me as though I should be at her beck and call whenever she needs me! She doesn't actually speak so arranges her hours through text! I was fine with this but......she doesn't tell me until the day before that she needs her daughter picking up, I have to chase her up every week to find out the hours, to which she doesn't generally reply :eek: Ive now been waiting 2 days for a message back, plus I'm trying to arrange a visit with another parent but wanted to do this while I wasn't working so it's a pain!

She also said, right at the beginning that she would need me for 21 hours a week, it's only been one hour a week so far :eek: plus that she would start telling me her hours in advance... This hasn't happened either!

I just can't seem to get tough, I'm generally a quiet person, I don't like
confrontation and like to keep people happy! :blush:

I love my job though, the caring for children part that is :)

Is there anyone else that has needed to get tough with it being out of their comfort zone? How did you do it?


The Juggler
08-05-2011, 09:01 AM
ok hon, first what is in your contract? does it say 21 hours a week? what do have written under child's non-attendance -no pay or full fee?

have a look at this first. If she's contracted for 21 hours at full pay, then you write a letter. If she is ad-hoc hours at no fee then you still write a letter to her. Call her in for a meeting then hand her the letter to confirm what you've said...... along the lines of

"As per our contract you said you would need 21 hours of care per week min. You are contracted to pay for these hours whether used or not OR although you are not contracted to pay for non attended hours I took on this contract on the basis I would be earning at least that amount each week. Further I am finding it difficult to plan my week as I never know until really late notice when your little one is coming or at what time.

Although I have let this go up until now, from today I will be charging for all non-attended hours OR I would like to revise our contract to state that a minimum of 21 hours of care will be paid for each week.

Further as I am holding these 21 hours of care over the whole 5 days, I will need to know which days and times your child will be attending at the latest by Friday of the week before. If you have not confirmed dates and times I will go about my normal routine and will not be expecting your little one to arrive. If I am out I would then expect you to come and meet me not to return home, as this is not fair on the other little ones. I would like to set in place approximate drop off and pick up times also so that again it is easier to plan the week for the children in my care. Let's discuss this and come to an agreement."

As for the new parent visit, ask new mum her hours for htis week as you need to arrange an appointment. Force her to make a decision. Then don't rearrnage your new parent if she changes her mind.

Good luckx

08-05-2011, 09:10 AM
You've got to talk to this parent and sort out the hours thing - it's unfair on you, not what was agreed in the first place and 1 hour a week is hardly worth all this messing about (unless she is actually paying you for 21 hours - then you've got a good deal lol!).

It would be better done face to face but if you think that might be difficult then write a letter like Juggler says. Don't forget, this parent is probably quite happy with the arrangement so things won't change unless you take some action.

Good luck with the new parent, hope that works out for you.

Miffy xx

08-05-2011, 09:51 AM
You have to call the parent and I would go and see them. I would take the contract with me and go through it with them. I ask for 4 weeks notice of change of hours except in an emergency or in special circumstances where a parent works a sift pattern perhaps. These parents have got to realise their child is not your only responsibility.

I would stop communicating by text as it isn't working and this form of communication so often leads to missunderstanding or not getting a respose. I never use except in an emergency, you can't beat talking and I feel that without this you start to loose you link with the parent.

I never collect or pick up a child except in an emergency to help out but only if I can. I have other mindees and my own family to think about, with out rushing around after mindees and their parents, sorry this may seem harsh but it comes with 17 yrs experience.

You have to get tough and I am amazed that a parent contracted for 21hours and only uses 1 hour, how does that work? It hardly seems worth the bother for her. Fantastic for you though, as long as she is paying you for 21 hours?

08-05-2011, 11:50 AM
i think getting tough comes with time and experinace and the fact of having parents mess you about so much you no longer want to put up it and get tough ,,
I would arrange a time with the visiting parent then when the other parent contacts you tell her she didnt give you enough notice and that you wont be able to have her on the day the parent is visiting.
I would also redo her contract so that you are paid for 21 hours a week and state in the contract that you will need at least 1 weeks notice of hours required or you may not be able to accomodate the requested hours.
I have now got to the point where i wont wait around for parents, if they are not here when they say they will be then I go out and they have to find me as I have other children to look after and dont see why they should miss out.

little chickee
08-05-2011, 05:38 PM

She doesn't actually speak so arranges her hours through text! I was fine with this but......
Is there anyone else that has needed to get tough with it being out of their comfort zone? How did you do it?


I recently had to get tough with a parent over non payment and poor communication - absolutley hated it I was shaking on the doorstep but had planned what i was going to stay and stuck rigidly to it - to the point where i was prepared to lose mindee if parent didnt start sticking to contract.

And it worked!

wHEN YOU SAY THIS PARENT DOESNT SPEAK DO YOU MEAN SHE CANNOT ACTUALLY speak or just chooses to communicate via text?

Do you get paid for the 21 hours? If not you must change to contract to ensure you do.
I would stop chaseing her up for the hours needed - make your own plans and then when she texts to say what hours she needs phone her back (not text) to tell her that you cannot accommodate her because you have made other plans.

And make sure you stick to it and do not have the child.
Tell her how much notice you need ( I suggest a minimum of 48 hours) if this is not given she needs to be aware that you may not be able to have her child.

And if she does not give the required notice DO NOT have the child regardless of whter you can or not - she will have to quickly learn that you mean business.

It is very difficult to be tough and stand up for yourself and stick to what your rules are but you will be better of for it.

little chickee
08-05-2011, 05:43 PM
Also if you are only getting paid for the 1 hour a week you have her i would seriously consider terminating the contract - its just not worth your while.

If the parent doesnt agree to your new terms of payment for the 21 hours and giving sufficent notice of hours needed do not hesitate to terminate.