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sarahcoutts21
27-04-2008, 09:30 PM
ok i have a child who is 10 months old she started about three weeks ago however the mother is just so arrogant and i really dislike her (terrible i know)

the LO came in and was crying and it was that bad the other children were asking why is she crying not again!! she wasnt wet or tired only explanation was teeth anyway my friend popped in and said to me has she had anything to eat today only she wasnt due ot be fed until half 12! my friend has pointed out that a baby of that age should be getting a lot more during the day! so when i checked her bottles of milk (this is all she gets in a day) it a slow flow teat 1 and 5 fl oz of milk! which takes me 1 hour to feed! so when i mentioned to mum about it she said it was me and not the LO anyway on monday she came in and said the same thing! but when i got bottle out it was still 5 fl oz but the teat had changed to a 2 it was still pretty slow so i bought teat three!! the child does not get yoghurt or anything else but milk in the day! i thought babies were ot get more than that at that age! so when i got her again on thursday i fed her her milk when she arrived and she was quiet most of the morning she also got weetabix and she loves it! at lunch i gave her macaroni (baby heniz) and youghurt and banana she ate it all i kow i should do that but little one is starving, she is a first baby so mum doesnt know what she is doing, i dont have kids but i know they need to eat!! also she cant sit up and at 10 months she should be sitting up and trying to get on her feet i need adivse as to what to do as i feel i may be in the wrong if i am then i will hold my hands up but im sure she is not getting enough!!

also when she is due to come to me at half eight her mother drops her off at ten to 8 and expects that 40 mins ot be free she refuses ot pay for it!! she also uses my scles when dropping her off and picking her up i have had to take them out of bathroom! i know it is her using them as she never puts them back!! please help me as im not good with babies i will leanr but she doing it worn or me? i know i shouldnt feed her extra but with two other children to look after a baby constantly crying is had going for me and other kids! :panic:

angeldelight
27-04-2008, 09:41 PM
Difficult situation to be in Sarah - plus the fact you have to be really careful here because mom does not really know you yet does she

I agree that the baby needs more - question is how do you pursuade mom this?
If a baby is drinking less milk at this stage it usually means it is because they are eating more - but in this case obviously not

Baby should be eating bite size snacks now
toast soldiers
cooked vegetables (such as carrots or potatoes) cut into sticks
breadsticks or rice cakes
ripe banana cut into long strips to make it easier to pick up
tiny sandwiches

If mom really does not have a clue then maybe you could sit down and have a chat with her or speak to a health visitor

Baby needs to eat

Regarding the times that mom is arriving
Be tough - its your time until 8.30 so DO NOT answer your door till that time
She will hopefully get the message

Why is she using your bathroom in the first place
My parents drop their children off at the door and go and same at pick up
They never use my bathroom

Good luck let us know how it goes

Angel xx

sarah707
27-04-2008, 10:07 PM
Great advice there from Angel... you cannot have a starving baby...

I would also contact the health visitor urgently and ask confidential advice

Poor you and poor little one :(

Blaze
27-04-2008, 10:18 PM
Great advice already given...have some confidence in yourself...your in the right & doing great!:)

Twinkles
28-04-2008, 08:54 AM
Not much to add except keep a record of your concerns.

I would be worried if this was all my baby was eating they start to run out of iron at six months and need to replace it, which is why six months is the recommended weaning age.

Also get tough with the mother don't let her treat you like a doormat - won't pay for the extra forty minutes ? Don't work it, like Angel say's don't answer the door.
Add up how much these forty minutes would have earned you over say, a month and then GET TOUGH.

Cazz
28-04-2008, 09:49 AM
I've got a 4 month old baby myself and she has been on 8oz bottles for about a month! She's average size and is progressing on her chart at a steady level but if she was only having 5oz bottles I think she would be a bag of bones!

jordanann
28-04-2008, 10:03 AM
Oh poor baby and poor you, i agree with what everyone has said.
Be strong and stand your ground with mum.
Hope things work out honey.

Love Lisa
xx xx xx

Pipsqueak
28-04-2008, 10:15 AM
Some great advice given already.

Especially - Keep a record of your concerns and your conversations with mum and what she says/does.
Sarah says about have a confidential word with a Health Visitor - I would second that.

And yes get tough about the extra 40 minutes - she either pays for it or you don't work it - simple as (if she was using a nursery then she would have to) - ask her if she needs to change the contract hours. Point out that under your insurance and Ofsted rules you cannot start work earlier blah blah.

fionamal
28-04-2008, 10:28 AM
I agree with everyone else.

Dont answer the door until its time , you have to be firm on this or she will walk all over you.

Tickles
28-04-2008, 10:39 AM
Thats shocking!!!, to think of a wee one starving & then after discussing with the parent, nothing changes, is soooo wrong!!!!

I would contact health visitor asap for advice & record all conversations, what the childs parents give for child to eat etc. From my child protection knowledge, this is signs of neglect [ hungary child, not fed etc] & you have a duty to protect the child:( . I would write down exactly what the parent gives etc for meals & drinks & then contact health visitor given her the list & take it from their. I know you say she is a first time mum, but even still, you know what to feed your child & you know where to obtain info regarding it etc

As to the dropping off child early & refusing to pay!!!!!!:angry: , i would write to her & explain that your child doesnt start untill 8.30am in the morning & therefore i will not be answering door until then. If you wish to drop off child early, you will have to pay the extra money BEFORE you drop her off etc

She is obviously playing on your good nature & you have to be firm or it will only get worse.

I also understand about you feeding her, & it is a hard one, but if anything happened to the child e.g allergy or choked, you would be res[posable as you havent got permission etc
I would just say to her that the child got hold of another childs finger food etc & demolished it , then say to her that a child of that age should be eating regularly & maybe help her obtain info etc

She doesnt seem like a very nice person though & i always think if they are like that at the start, it will only get worse unless you stand firm & dont take any crap!!!

Joanne

Michelle M
28-04-2008, 10:55 AM
Poor you and the poor baby :( I havent got any additional advice to add. Hope it gets better soon for both of you.

XX

katickles
28-04-2008, 11:39 AM
I would definatly try speaking to mum. Like Joanne says - I'd be sooooooo careful feeding baby anything in case of allergies.

The others have all given great advice (as usual), just log everything.

I hope you manage to get this sorted out & soon for the poor lo :)

Alibali
28-04-2008, 12:27 PM
I had a similar situation with my youngest mindee, and every day I wrote in diary and told mum that he needed more milk (she was expressing and couldn't get any more) I also documented every conversation re: my concerns in an observation diary. LO ended up being referred to hospital for weight loss. He is fine now and we got the situation resolved in time. However I know how you feel as you haven't had time to build a good relationship yet, but what I have found with a few of my mindees is that the parents like to tell you exactly what their lo's can and cannot eat, I think it is their way of staying in control of their lo when they are not about (?guilt), if it persists I would have a chat to health visitor, I wouldn't be too concerned though unless she stops growing well.

Hope all works out well.

Ali :)

avril
28-04-2008, 12:33 PM
Great advice there from Angel... you cannot have a starving baby...

I would also contact the health visitor urgently and ask confidential advice

Poor you and poor little one :(

I agree I would definately contact a health visitor if not the childs own then one from your local health centre. Not surprised the baby cannot sit up probally too weak
Is the Mum only young, maybe she needs some parenting classes.

Avril x:)

mum22
28-04-2008, 01:31 PM
I agree with all the great advice you have been given - but cover yourself - write up your concerns - contact a health visitor for confidential advice - you cant name the child .

Baby should be on solids now - what mother is doing is a form of neglect by not giving enough food -

hope all works out
helen