sara_jayne
06-05-2011, 01:24 PM
Hi all
It's been a while since I posted, I hope you're all well and enjoying the sunshine!
I'm posting mainly to see if you've got any ideas re helping a relatively new mindee with her separation anxiety.
As a bit of background info, A is 3 years old, half Greek and half English (speaks both fluently), moved over here from Spain last year with her Mum after her parents separated. Her Mum tried a nursery before me but A didn't settle at all after 3 months of going once a week. They came to me at the beginning of March.
She was introduced to me as a 'shy' child so we had lots of settling sessions to try and familiarise her with me and my home. She's started coming one day a week and was ok for the first couple of sessions - her Mum said she was excited about coming. Since then though, she's started bursting into floods and floods of tears, completely at random, and reaching for the door saying 'Mama'. She is completely inconsolable. She works herself up into a right state and nothing seems to help her except constant attention (and I mean, literally, not allowed to leave her side) and constant cuddles, which I can't do as much as she seems to need because I have two other, younger, children to mind who need cuddles and attention too. She struggles to play independently but won't participate in group activities. In fact, I'm pretty sure she would sit and watch cartoons all day if permitted and, when not permitted, she resorts to the inconsolable crying. :(
I've had a chat with Mum about this and she told me that it's just the two of them a lot of the time, which I suppose helps explain her need for one-on-one interaction and her separation anxiety. I have also spoken to A about her feelings and she indicated that she waits for her Daddy to come home but he doesn't because he's at work so I wondered if she is afraid her Mum won't come home from work too? I suggested to Mum that she leave something of hers with A when she comes here so A can look after it until Mum comes to collect her after dinner. I also keep a picture of A and Mum at my setting so that A can look at it if she needs to 'see' her Mum. This worked for a couple of sessions but yesterday we returned to the inconsolable crying and calling out for 'Mama'.
I confess I'm beginning to wonder what else I can do to help her - she's a lovely little girl but her sadness is taking up so much of my time that I'm anxious about it affecting the experience of my other mindees. I don't want to have to give notice at all but it can't be good for the poor little thing to be so sad all day long.
If you're still with me after that essay, lol, do you have any ideas for me to help her settle?
xxx
It's been a while since I posted, I hope you're all well and enjoying the sunshine!
I'm posting mainly to see if you've got any ideas re helping a relatively new mindee with her separation anxiety.
As a bit of background info, A is 3 years old, half Greek and half English (speaks both fluently), moved over here from Spain last year with her Mum after her parents separated. Her Mum tried a nursery before me but A didn't settle at all after 3 months of going once a week. They came to me at the beginning of March.
She was introduced to me as a 'shy' child so we had lots of settling sessions to try and familiarise her with me and my home. She's started coming one day a week and was ok for the first couple of sessions - her Mum said she was excited about coming. Since then though, she's started bursting into floods and floods of tears, completely at random, and reaching for the door saying 'Mama'. She is completely inconsolable. She works herself up into a right state and nothing seems to help her except constant attention (and I mean, literally, not allowed to leave her side) and constant cuddles, which I can't do as much as she seems to need because I have two other, younger, children to mind who need cuddles and attention too. She struggles to play independently but won't participate in group activities. In fact, I'm pretty sure she would sit and watch cartoons all day if permitted and, when not permitted, she resorts to the inconsolable crying. :(
I've had a chat with Mum about this and she told me that it's just the two of them a lot of the time, which I suppose helps explain her need for one-on-one interaction and her separation anxiety. I have also spoken to A about her feelings and she indicated that she waits for her Daddy to come home but he doesn't because he's at work so I wondered if she is afraid her Mum won't come home from work too? I suggested to Mum that she leave something of hers with A when she comes here so A can look after it until Mum comes to collect her after dinner. I also keep a picture of A and Mum at my setting so that A can look at it if she needs to 'see' her Mum. This worked for a couple of sessions but yesterday we returned to the inconsolable crying and calling out for 'Mama'.
I confess I'm beginning to wonder what else I can do to help her - she's a lovely little girl but her sadness is taking up so much of my time that I'm anxious about it affecting the experience of my other mindees. I don't want to have to give notice at all but it can't be good for the poor little thing to be so sad all day long.
If you're still with me after that essay, lol, do you have any ideas for me to help her settle?
xxx