05-05-2011, 01:13 PM
Hi all,

Sorry if this is long! :blush:

I have only been registered since Feb so am new to everything. I have been looking after a brother and sister after school since 1st March and them and mum are lovely.

Her and dad have split up. All was ok at first but they have now fell out - big time! I have never met Dad.

He has reported her for all sorts (child abse etc., all of which is untrue, he is just trying to hurt her as he wants her back).

Anyway, things are awful. He has tryed to have me followed but I have been picking the children up at a different time so as to avoid him. He isnt to have contact with the children for two weeks but I am so scared that he will try to snatch them. Mum said yesterday that she was going to transfer their school to a different area from Monday so tomorrow should be my last day (phew!). However she has just phoned me and said she is in two minds about switching their schools and would I still have them if she didn't. :panic: I have said that I will have to have a think about it as I have other children to think about and to keep safe. What would any of you do in this situation?

Also, had she have ended the contract tomorrow we had sorted out between us that she needed to pay me for last week and this week and as I ask for a 2 week notice period she would need to pay me for that as well. However, if I decide not to keep them if she doesn't chnage their school, I guess I would not charge her for the 2 week notice period? or should at least work it? She is so so understanding. I hate this. I am down, scared, tearful and feel like my life is on hold over this. Please help, im normally such a happy person. :D

05-05-2011, 01:22 PM
It sounds to me like this is something you could do without. Whilst I feel sorry for this family and the situation they are in, you should not be made to feel scared or uncomfortable and like you say, you have other children to consider.

As mum gave notice I would stick to original notice and payment plan.

Hope things work out for everybody x

05-05-2011, 01:29 PM
Hi :),
Sorry you are being so affected by this family's difficulties... Why is Dad not to have contact with the children? You sound very scared: is he a danger to you or the children? This is really Mum's responsibility, not yours .All you can do for her is let her know the legal position you would be in and what procedures you would follow if he tried to take them.

Regarding contact, if there is a legal reason e.g. an injunction, you need to find out what you should do (legally) if he tried to take the children whilst in your care. You probably cannot physicaly stop him (and shouldn't try) if you're out and about but you can refuse him entry to your home and insist on calling the police or Mum before letting them leave.

If there isn't, then you have no right to stop him taking the children and Mum needs to be aware that you cannot prevent him from taking them. Similarly I think it reasonable to call the relevant people for advice if he turns up on your doorstep.

Regarding the two weeks notice: that is payable whatever the circumstances if you are available. You don't have to be available on Mum's terms, just on the terms of the contract: to collect and care for the children. You're not being paid danger money or to be a bodyguard :)

Hope it all works out ok for everyone...:)

best wishes,

05-05-2011, 03:14 PM
whilst you have no legal right to stop him taking the children - you don't know him - if you have never met him and don't know what he looks like then you should not release the children to him.

I can understand why you are worried - is there perhaps another minder or friend who can walk home with you if you keep the children on. I would be inclined to tell mum that you are happy to have the children but only after this issue with dad is sorted out via courts etc as you don't want to put yourself or other children at risk.