View Full Version : Asked teacher...big mistake

28-04-2011, 08:36 AM

Not been on here for a couple of weeks as Ive had a lovely week off. :D
But just before I went away I had a lady ring me to ask if I could have her 10yr old over Easter. He has ADHD so I agreed to have him 1 day as the other 2days were full. The headteacher at school had given her my number.

We chatted about how to handle him etc and agreed a date. I thought I would be 'professional' (Or not as the case may be) and get a bit of advice off his teacher at the school both he and my daughter go to.
My daughter is the same age and I have been at the school since 2004. All I wanted was a little advice about how she handles him. I didnt want personal stories on how bad he is, or info about the family, just a little advice on how she deals with him throughout the day..

I have NEVER been so upset after talking to her, I cried all day. She is quite an old teacher and basically looked down on me like she had stepped in me.
Her reply was 'It's out of school, you should talk to his mum'. I replied that I just wanted a different perspective on how to handle him as children act differently at home and in different situations. She just replied with the same answer.
No friendliness or smile just a look like she hated me. I have never felt so bad and cried all the way home, trying to hide it from the mindees and my daughter but broke down when I got home when hubbie asked what was wrong.:(

I was trying to be proffesional but reckon I was far from it and afterwards realised I shouldnt have been dissusing his behaviour. That made me feel 10x worse.
Anyway after a good holiday its cleared from my mind but now I am so cross about how she spoke to me...she could have been a bit nicer and explained that she couldnt discuss....HORRID WOMAN

Becky x

28-04-2011, 08:42 AM
(((Huggz)))) oh hun i know how you feel...

first go to the head teacher tell her that if the chid was in the early yrs it is law that the teacher talk to you... as the child is 10yrs old but with additional needs i would of thought it would be in the best interests of all concerned to give guidance to me and use the same stratages as school to help said child

as you recieved such bad manners you are bringing the matter to the head and would like to log a formal complaint....

teachers have got to learn we are better at our job because we can work more 1-2-1 with children than they can... and just coz we didnt go uni dont make us bad practioners etc

stand up for childminders and get the school to change its policy on infomation sharing....

we are behind you hun xxxxx

28-04-2011, 08:59 AM
If the child has ADHD and is at school he is probably under the school SENCO. You may have more luck discussing it with her/him.

I would write a letter stating you know they are unable to discuss personal incidents but could she perhaps give you some advice re boundaries and control of unwanted behaviour so you are all working off the same sheet. You may need to obtains mum's written permission for this (I am assuming you have already agreed with her that its ok going to the school to talk about her son?).

Dont dwell on it now, what's done is done and cant be undone. x

28-04-2011, 10:05 AM
Write to the Head outlining what you would like to know, that the teacher has not been helpful, and that of course, they will be aware that practitioners should share information as it is in the best interests of the child. Put in the letter that you're happy to make an appointment to do so if necessary.

Ask his mum to write to the Head to confirm that you consent to her discussing behaviour strategies with you - put this in with your letter so it's all in together.

*Andrea08* I find your comment about CMs being 'better' as we can work one to one slightly off though - it's not a case of being better, it's just that we are different Everything else you said I agree with though.