View Full Version : Reason for giving notice?

buzzy bee
27-04-2011, 05:07 PM
I have a mindee who I find really difficult. I dread her coming and count down the time when she's here.

She's 10 and has had a hard life, which makes me feel like I want to be stable for her and keep her on, and makes me make excuses for how she is, but at the same time when it's affecting me this much I'm not sure it's worth the £60 a month.

The other reason to keep her is I will still be going to school to pick the others up, so I'll still probably see her and I'll feel terrible.

What should I do?

These are my main issues:

She doesn't follow rules, and always answers back when I ask her to do something or not to

She has enureris (daytime wetting) so I have to prompt her to go to the loo but am always worried when she's sat on my rug / sofa

She's very loud and is bossy and can be very nasty to the other kids (probably because of her history). They bicker constantly the whole time they're here and I think it's mainly down to her.

27-04-2011, 05:29 PM
As much as you want to be there for this child, if it is affecting you in a negative way you must put your family first.

Maybe speak with her - with parental input too - to discuss house rules and the lack of following them having consequences. If rules are not followed then termination may be necessary for the good of everyone.

27-04-2011, 06:06 PM
You are legally required (by both the Eyfs and Childcare Registers) to put the needs of the little ones first.

If this child is affecting the whole group then you need to re-consider the contract.

Hth x

buzzy bee
28-04-2011, 12:36 PM
Thanks for your responses. It just doesn't seem like a big enough deal to have a proper chat over... it's little things like putting lids back on pens, taking shoes off when she comes in, throwing the ball up high in the house... it's little things I feel like I'm constantly nagging about, but nothing majorly wrong. But I could speak to her with her mum... otherwise if I do give her mum notice it'll be a total shock because I haven't mentioned anything's wrong!!

28-04-2011, 01:07 PM
As well as your duty to the little ones - you also have a duty to this older child and if you dread her coming - you will not be providing the best possible environment for her because no matter how hard we try to remain professional our personal feelings do impact of how we feel and therefore how we react - for example the things that 'niggle' gradually niggle more and more until for us they become a big issue.

Therefore you are actually being professional by realising that your setting is not the best environment for this child and the little ones in your care.

Penny :)

28-04-2011, 01:13 PM
Do you have house rules?
Do you have a child/parent/cm agreement? (there is a sample on Bromley which can be adapted)

If not I would sit down and get these sorted out and make it clear to this child what the rules are and explain why they are there- some children genuinely do not understand that certain rules are there for a reason.
This may just kickstart a new phase of 'good' behaviour and if it doesn't you will have something concrete to fall back on. As you said it would probably be a little unfair to give notice for 'no reason' and whilst we are at liberty to do so it may leave you open to unfair accusations.
So if any unwanted behaviour occurs keep making notes of it and then call a meeting with mum to discuss strategies, and if things don't improve after a given time scale no-one can say you haven't tried.
Like Sarah said our first priority is to the under 8's so if she won't set a good example then she might have to go

28-04-2011, 02:12 PM
Hi :),
I agree something must change as this is impacting on how you and the other children feel so much.

If you feel you simply can't continue you can of course give notice without any explanation, though I agree Mum may well be shocked if she hasn't realised anything was wrong.

If you want to have a go at working with Mum to change this behaviour I'd suggest the following...

I'd keep a diary/note of each 'little' incident, even if its just over one or two sessions. Then its in front of you and you may feel more justified to speak to Mum about it. Think about what you want to change as simply as possible: child to listen properly when you speak to her and make an appropriate response so that you know she's understood; child to refrain from certain recurrent behaviours etc...

Then I'd ask Mum for a quick chat about the child. Just explain you haven't mentioned it before as it was just little things, but it does affect the dynamics of the whole group and the fact that you have to constantly remind the child how to behave is starting to get quite exhausting.

Tell her what you'd like to see happening and ask her to have a word at home so that the little girl knows you are working together and both expecting her to start doing as she's told.

Give it a few sessions of minding and if there's no marked improvement, explain you're sorry but you'll have to give notice if things don't improve, give it a few more sessions and see how you feel its going.

hope you get something sorted: good luck :)

best wishes,
Wendy :)

28-04-2011, 03:37 PM
i understand where your coming from, i had a 6 year old who is very hard work, it had a knock on effect with my own and other minded kids.

I felt like it was a constant battle and that all i did was nag her! like you said its silly things like, washing hands before tea, using a knife and fork, letting others choose the game to play I used to dread picking her up everyday. My husband had a day off and was here to witness it and he walked out as he couldnt cope with the arguing, back chat and snatching!

She is an only child and mum is forever underminding me infornt of her, and i never knew what mum i would get, the one that didnt want to talk, or wouldnt stop talking or the shouty one that would shout and upset her and my own children :angry:

So i gave notice and yesterday was her last day. What a difference i feel and my own children are soo happy today completely different. Theres no shouting, fighting and im not spending every 5 minutes refereeing!!

I have looked after her for 12 months and wasnt sure how mum would take it as she had idea the negative impact her child was having, but when i spoke to her she took it really well.

I think that if you havespoken to the girls mum and you have tried everything that you can think of and its effecting you that you dread picking her up then you need to give notice.