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molbymac
20-12-2007, 02:31 PM
Hello. I am new here. I wasn't sure where to post this..but really need some advice!
One of the children I mind (and have done so for a year now) has been unwell last few weeks. Really heavy cold and bad cough. A few weeks ago he was on antibiotics for ear infection. This week the evening before he was due to come his mum texted me to say he had been back to doctors and got more anitbiotics cos ear infection not gone away, and cough affecting his chest...but "he's fine in himself". I said that I wasn't keen to take him if he was ill (especially as he was unwell last week...and not "fine in himself"). She was very blunt with me and clearly not happy. Anyway..he was due to come today too but she just didn't show up. I sent her a message asking if he was coming, the reply was simply "no". I have tried to call but she was not picking up phone, and despite leaving a message she has not called back.
I feel so let down. I have looked aftter him for such a long time and now feel that relationships have totally broken down. Up untilnow things have been great..no problmes at all. Has anyone experienced anything like this before?? ANY advice would be greatefully accepted.
I have never refused a child to come before but really felt that it was not fair on the other children( I have 2 of my own under 5) or me as I am pregnant too. Also...not sure I can offer him the level of care he needs if he is unwell.
HELP!!!
molbymac.

Mollymop
20-12-2007, 02:52 PM
Hi there! It's a shame the mum is behaving this way towards you as you are just doing your job the way you feel you need to. As you said - you have to think of your other charges and yourself. If his infection has not gone away I am sure he wouldn't be too well himself like his mum says that he is. It is probably difficult for her as she need to go back to work but it can't be helped and being rude to you and not offering to discuss it properly isn't fair on you.
If the child was at school or nursery, etc, he wouldn't be allowed in until he was back to normal. My little girl had to stay off playschool for a week as she had a bad cough - they said she could come back when it had subsided.
I hope you get to hear from the mum soon as it will be a shame on you and the child if she stops you caring for him after all this time.
Others know lots more than me as I am not registered yet, but I just wanted to give you support and a big cyberspace hug.:D
love Sandra XXX

Polly2
20-12-2007, 04:10 PM
Hiya

I have not faced this situation yet but I would like to say I think you did the right thing.

When kids are ill they just want to be at home, plus you risk infecting the others.

Sounds like you have made every effort to contact mum so I don't think there is much more you can do unless you are owed money.

The ball is in her court, so to speak.

Sorry not much help - maybe someone else has faced this prob?
Hope things improve
Take care x

angeldelight
20-12-2007, 04:39 PM
Hi

Well I have not been in this situation myself

I can say though that if a child is ill why should you have to look after him just because the mom needs to go to work it really is NOT your problem

Ear infection and chest infection can be really painful I should know because I get both at this time of the year so I would imagine this child would be better cared for at home anyway

Who is going to worry about you if you get ill and need time off if you care for ill children and catch something - she would soon moan then I suspect

At the end of the day it is your business and your rules
She has no right to question what you feel is right for you and your family

If it was me in this situation I would text her and not mention the minding side of it for the moment - I would just ask how he is etc and ask if you will get to see him before christmas because you would like that - say you have his christmas card also
If she ignores the text I would then call her

That way you are offering her a chance to be nice to you - if she ignores you then that is another story I suppose - so let us know and I am sure we can all advise you what to do

Good luck

Angel xx

Pauline
20-12-2007, 05:28 PM
I agree that you did right in refusing the child and if I were you I would do as Angel suggests and try to be normal and see what reaction the mother gives, she might be very stressed at the moment with this illness plus Christmas and, while I appreciate that it is no excuse to be so rude to you, we all know how it is and perhaps when things calm down she will realise that she has not been as nice as she should.

If she continues to be off hand then I would certainly bring the matter up with her, you can't continue to work with someone with an atmosphere between you.

Good luck :)

molbymac
22-12-2007, 09:24 AM
Thanks so much for your advice. I made contact with her yeaterday morning (friday) by text just saying that I hoped he was on the mend and when could I drop his xmas gift off. She called me back and I went round that morning. I was not drawn into a row about it..just said that it was not only to do with contageous aspect of illness, but level of care that was needed. All ended ok I think and hopefully that will be the end of it.
Thanks again for your advice,
molbymac.x

Monkey1
22-12-2007, 09:45 AM
I'm glad it worked out ok honey...........Childminding would be brilliant..........if it wasn't for the parents!!!!!

Mollymop
23-12-2007, 10:42 PM
It's nice to hear it went ok in the end, Molby!!

Have a lovely Xmas. XXXXXX:goodjob:

Banana
29-12-2007, 10:46 PM
Glad it seems to be ok now.

I think that you did the right thing anyway. You shouldnt have to look after an ill child if you are not happy to.. and no, it is not fair on the other children so you are perfectly in your own right to refuse attendance. I get fed up of my daughter always getting colds and bugs because parents send thier children when they shouldnt!

Its when they are sneaky and dont mention they are sick but have clearly been unwell the day before they came to you :angry:

xx

Auntie charlotte
11-03-2008, 12:39 PM
I would suggest if u can just having a wee word with her, if she picks up the fone to you, and just try explain to her your situation. it wasnt fair of her not 2 let u know she wasnt coming, and as for the illness i would agree with what you done i would do the same. if it was the other way around and u had taken an ill child and her child had become unwell because of it i bet she wouldnt be happy and especially with u being pregnant u dont want to get ill, hope u get it all sorted! xx:)