Biter

[phoebe-alice]

Hi there, I'm looking for some advise from all you lovely people out there. I currently have a very angry little mindee (just turned 2) who bites, pushes, hits and pulls hair. :panic:
Anything that will hurt my other little mindees, I have had him for the past month or two and it is a contract through social services so it is not actually the grandparents who he has been placed with that pays.
But I am having major worries as he is a good boy by himself but whenever other kids are put into the equation he will go out of his way to hurt them and as soon as your back is turned something will happen.
Today one of my mindees (2) were sent home with a big bite mark on her back and I feel terrible, I just want to put an end to it as just saying no and being stern isn't working he just laughs. :(
I have written an incident report but feel so sick that all this will come back on me I just don't know what to do. I spoke to his granddad at collection but he just said to say no, so just feel really worried about the whole situation. I don't like seeing my mindees being hurt especially by each other.
If anyone has any advice I'd really appreciate it, as feel as if I will have very unhappy parents and children if this continues.

[Twinkles]

I have a biter and have had one in the past.

What worked for me was never ever leaving the biter alone with another child. If I went to the loo the biter had to come too or be strapped in the highchair ( with colouring or something so as not seen as punishment ).

If he managed to bite while I was in the room I would sternly say no to him and then completely turn my back on him ( they do hate to be ignored ) and make a huge fuss of the bitten child.

Does he have language problems ? They are quite common in biters. If he does maybe you can help with baby signing or Makaton.

[phoebe-alice]

I have a biter and have had one in the past.

What worked for me was never ever leaving the biter alone with another child. If I went to the loo the biter had to come too or be strapped in the highchair ( with colouring or something so as not seen as punishment ).

If he managed to bite while I was in the room I would sternly say no to him and then completely turn my back on him ( they do hate to be ignored ) and make a huge fuss of the bitten child.

Does he have language problems ? They are quite common in biters. If he does maybe you can help with baby signing or Makaton.


Yes I think that's what I am going to have to do as it is as soon as I turn my back or leave the room he starts. I will give it my best shot anyway.
I just have this worry that the bittens child's parents are not going to be happy and possibly complain to SCSWIS and I have no clue whether I have been doing the right things to protect it from happening. I feel so bad for the little girl and can't help worrying.
I can see the next few weeks are just going to have to revolve around his biting as it can't go on.
I have never even had to write that sort of incident report or deal with this sort aggressive behaviour so feeling a bit out of my depth hehe. :panic:

[sarah707]

It's called shadowing and basically you follow the child or the child follows you the whole time.

You use the time to spot what the child's triggers are - in this child's case it sounds like being 'ignored' or when you are busy elsewhere but it can also be things like communication, hunger, tiredness, thirst, excitement etc.

You keep the child with you or other children safe by making sure the child is busy but nobody else is in danger.

You carry on as you are doing by showing you love the child but do not like the behaviour... it's the behaviour you are turning away from, not the child. The child gets love and hugs etc when the behaviour stops.

It is exhausting for more than a few days but you can use it as evidence of supporting the child's needs - shadow, write up what you see and hear and notice.

Ask for help you should not be coping with this on your own. Get your support people involved and make sure grandparents are dealing with it in the same way as you.

I hope the little one's back is ok. The risk of course is that you lose other contracts because of this child - that almost happened to me once years ago so keep in close contact with other parents reassuring them that you are working on the problem without breaking confidentiality as much as possible.

Hugs xx

[Greengrass74]

Hi Pheobe

have a look at this web site there is some good info and advice, we had the same problem and it is very upsetting, but it is a really common problem and hopefully you will find that most parents will be ok, ours were fine once we spoke to them all.

http://www.childbehaviourdirect.com/stop-biting-tips-1358.html

take care

Dave

[Cammie Doodle]

Hi Pheobe, do you have contact with SS regarding this LO ? If you have they may be able to give advise, if you don't have contact I would request a meeting with the child's social worker (everyone involved with the child should all be working together , so you need to be kept in the loop, so you can help the LO) Good Luck its not easy and it is a worry , but take all the help they offer