View Full Version : Any advice?

14-04-2011, 08:19 AM
Hi All,

I haven't posted on the forum before but am desperate for any words of wisdom.

I have been childminding for the last 6 weeks I childminded a few years ago but gave up,,,since returning the EYFS has come into place,,,thats a question for another time i have been keeping my daily diary and hope to put something together for the children i have in the near future before it gets too far down the line, I just have no idea how many obs, how, what, where and why,,, yes im clueless :laughing: but i'll look into all that soon.

I currently have an 8 month and a 3 year old mindees.

The 3 year old is great gets on with my two children (2 &5) But the 3 of them are so unsettled by the baby.
My youngest is becoming resentful and cries when i tell him we have to get ready for mummy to start work. I'm babling sorry !!

Anyway said baby is very anxious when seperated form physical contact, she sleeps in the same bed as mum has since birth, the parents take it in turns holding baby to eat, toilet or get dressed, i have even been told by the parent she sat on her knee on the toilet as not to let her cry!

I just cant do that !!

Every time i put the child down she screems, she can ony sleep if being held so is not having proper sleep whilst here, 70% of the time she cries if in the pushchair on a walk too. I am at my wits end with the situation and dont know what to do for doing wrong I have even contemplated buying a baby sling just to eat my lunch ive not had lunch for 6 weeks!!

She is with me full time so its 10 hours a day my eldest said yesterday he will be pleased to go back to school for peace and quiet.

Do I give in before I go insane or is there a way im just not trying to make things better?
Any advice greatly recieved.

Thankyou everyone x

14-04-2011, 08:44 AM
I know full time babies pay very well but I really dont think that this child is going to get any better. If the parents are holding her all the time at home, she is bound to expect the same whilst she is with you.

It is really not fair on your children and other mindee if you have a baby attached to you constantly, not to mention not fair to you either.

I cannot believe that they even take their child into the toilet with them so that she doesnt cry:eek: It is disgusting! Sounds like they are making a rod for their own backs as if they are like this now, the child will only get more and more dependent and spoilt. If they dont want their child crying, they will just give in and give them what they want!

I think you really need to have a chat with the parents about this as it sounds like they need to drastically change things at home before you can start implementing anything at your home.

Hope you manage to sort things soon xx

14-04-2011, 08:50 AM
i think it sounds like you need to have a frank chat with the parents.

Explain that you have other children in your care that you need to give attention to and that to hold this child constantly is not a feasible daily routine.
Try to find out what their fears are. I agree they are making a rod for their own backs (and others) however in other cultures this is a very natural way of bringing a baby up - constant cuddling and holding. However, in our society its not the easiest thing.

You could suggest compromises such as you using a sling so you have hands free.
Controlled crying techniques

regardless though - some harsh decisions need to be made here, as well as that formal chat with the parents

you have other responsibilities and not just to this family

14-04-2011, 09:25 AM
I have EXACTLY the same problems with mindee E, 6 mths old. I can't even put him down for 1 minute and he starts crying to be picked up, and quite frankly he ruined out trip to the farm last week as he was only quiet when he was asleep......

Anyway I mentioned it to mum last night as he seems to be getting worse, and she said her dad is staying with them atm and is basically spoliling baby by carrying him everywhere and not putting him down all day!! I said it's really bad, and there's no way i can do that, and she agreed that that is fine and he will just have to get used to it, but until that happens I have a baby that has cried since 8 am this morning and was only quite when I fed him, and it took him half an hour to fall asleep as he was yelling for me, and now I have to go get him up and it will start all over again.......................... :rolleyes:

14-04-2011, 01:03 PM
Thank you all for the replies you have echoed my thoughts but it just seems to make more sense when someone else says it.

I will be brave and talk to her mum tonight !!

thank you x x

14-04-2011, 02:46 PM
Good luck with your chat to mum. Hopefully she will also want things to change and will work with you.

I do think though that if either parent isn't interested in changing the way they deal with their child it won't matter what you do things will remain pretty dire :panic: Then you'll have to decide whether you can cope with it or give notice.

Miffy xx

16-04-2011, 04:44 PM
Hi all

Well I had the dreaded chat with Mum and she is not willing to change the routine until little one is a year old at which point she said she will think about putting her in her own bed and leaving her to cry rather than giving her constant contact!!

So i guess it leaves me needing to have a serious think about the effect it is having on the others and my sanity this weekend.

Thanks for your advice again :thumbsup: