What?!

[Erika]

I had to rush into work yesterday but wanted to check something with my childminder, she said to phone her on my break but when I did, she sounded frazzled and asked if we could discuss it at pick up. Course I said yes. When I picked them up she apologised for not being able to talk...turns out that she had a stressful visit!

She got a call from a parent (prospective new contract) last week who arranged a visit for Monday. On Friday they turned up, completely unannounced right after she got back from the school run. She explained that they had an appointment for Monday and could they please come back then, but their response was that they didn't want an arranged visit, they wanted to see her 'in her natural environment''! They then proceeded to walk around her house, inspecting the rooms. She explained the bedrooms were out of bounds because they were private rooms used only by the family and not utilised by mindees. The parents were insistant they had a 'right' to see the bedrooms, to 'get a feel for the type of environment' their child would be exposed to!

They told the childminder (didn't ask, told her) there would be no TV when their child was minded by her because of the things their child could be exposed to. Childminder explained that the TV is not on often but they do have a Movie afternoon once a month where they sit and watch a family film with home made popcorn, or bakes made by the children and that sometimes the after schoolies wanted to relax and watch a bit of cartoons when they came in, but that their child could be engaged in another activity in the same room. No, they didn't want this and insisted there would be no TV on at all.

They said they didn't feel comfortable with their child mixing with older children and asked if it would be possible to seperate the children into different areas. Childminder advised this would not be possible.

They wanted to know about every person that their child would come into contact with, including friends, neighbours and relatives of the childminder and asked if they were all CRB'd. Childminder explained that only people in the household aged over 16 are CRB'd. They then asked to meet every person who their child would come into contact with so that they could, in their own words 'personally vet' them to be sure they were happy for their children to be around them...Childminder said no, that wouldn't be appropriate because the children wouldn't be left in their care. Parents said this wasn't the point, because their child would be 'exposed' to them.

They commented on the false fruit basket ([plastic fruit) the childminder has in her dining area, calling it a 'misleading prop'. Childminder explained that this was only decorative but that she does have fresh fruit on offer everyday and advised it was kept in the kitchen. They then headed for the kitchen and started opening the fridge, freezer and cupboards! :panic:

They demanded a list of names, ages and schools that current mindees were in and names, job occupations, telephone numbers and addresses for all parents because they wanted to know exactly who their child would be mixing with, whether they went to good schools, whether their parents had respectable careers, lived in good areas and what their backgrounds were. Of course she refused this information and told them that she didn't think she would be able to accomodate the type of childcare they sought. She suggested a nanny. She was totally shocked by the way these parents were.

I know as a parent you want to be sure your child is safe and healthy environment but bleeding hell, how extreme!

[Mouse]

Blimey, poor thing! Imagine what a nightmare the parents would be if you actually got to work with them :eek:

[WibbleWobble]

aw bless....dontcha just love em?


nuts


mandy xx

[Toothfairy]

:eek: How rude. I'm afraid I would have shown them the door and told them to jog on :angry:

[Mummits]

I don't think they would have made it through the door at my house. I've nothing to hide but I can't abide bad manners, and turning up uninvited would be just that in my book.

[The Juggler]

poor woman. :panic: :panic:

[Erika]

Those were my thoughts exactly, If they were insistant on being seen then and not content to come back at the arranged appointment time that would tell me right there that they would be a nightmare to work with. Childminder said it didn't hit her until they were actually in the house - at the door they seemed just like overly concerned parents and she thought once she'd alllowed them in for a chat they would relax a bit. She's come across nervous parents before and initially thought they were those sort who just needed reassurance until they started with their demands and rummaging through every room in her house. I've been using her for years and wouldn't dream of walking into her families bedrooms or opening her fridge. Some parents don't seem to appreciate that as well as their child's care environment it is also a family home and some things are private. What a cheek. I've seen a lot of things over the years but by heck it astounded me - and her. Caught her totally off guard. Apparently they seemed normal on the phone when they made the first enquiry though a little nervous about leaving their child

[lma]

OMG
I have had prospective parents like this but not to this extreme. Honestly I would have probably been too shocked at them turning up unannounced that I would have probably let them in but in no uncertain terms would I have let them rummage around in my personal rooms such as bedrooms and through my kitchen cupboards!!!

Your childminder should turn up unannounced at their door saying she wants to check the sort of person they are to see whether she wants her children to be around them and their child and rummage through their cupboards and see if they like it. I'm guessing they won't.:D

Sound like they need a nanny who they can boss around and get to do their every whim which would probably from my experience be a young nieve girl who doesnt have the confidence to stand up to them. Any decent person with half a back bone would tell them where to go.

I honestly believe some people think that because we care for their child that they employ us and have the right to tell us what to do. Whenever I have a prospective parent like this I am quick to say that we do NOT work for them. They are choosing to use a service I offer and if they are not happy with that then maybe it would be better if they found themselves another childcare provider.

[caz3007]

OMG how rude. It amazes me that they thought they had to right to ask for all the information re the other children, look in the bedrooms. To be totally honest I would be ashamed if any parent saw my bedroom. Its a bit of a dumping ground and stays tidy (when I blitz it) for all of about 2 hours.

I expect your childminder was totally gobsmacked by it all and you just sort of cant believe something like thats happening

[suzyblue]

I think these people came to my house!

I had a mum come to visit who said that her husband wouldnt want to see me unless I got an outstanding in my next Ofsted (which was due) I got a good but they came anyway on a Sunday morning. He wanted to look in the bedrooms (:eek: ironing everywhere!) and was concerned that my assistant/daughter had dyed hair! I had to tell him that she was a natural redhead so there wasnt much I could do about that!!
These parents wanted to know what jobs the current parents had and if the children were able to attend decent schools after being in my care! Then all they wanted was discounts. They basically said that would allow me to have their precious baby if they didnt have to pay sick days or holidays. I said no so they didnt come back to me :thumbsup:

[caz3007]

I think these people came to my house!

I had a mum come to visit who said that her husband wouldnt want to see me unless I got an outstanding in my next Ofsted (which was due) I got a good but they came anyway on a Sunday morning. He wanted to look in the bedrooms (:eek: ironing everywhere!) and was concerned that my assistant/daughter had dyed hair! I had to tell him that she was a natural redhead so there wasnt much I could do about that!!
These parents wanted to know what jobs the current parents had and if the children were able to attend decent schools after being in my care! Then all they wanted was discounts. They basically said that would allow me to have their precious baby if they didnt have to pay sick days or holidays. I said no so they didnt come back to me :thumbsup:

think you had a very very lucky escape. Mind you would you have wanted to work them, I dont think so :thumbsup:

Whilst I realise its a big thing to leave your child with someone, why do these parents assume that its only them that does the choosing

[Ripeberry]

As a CM we do have the right to refuse entry to anyone, even prospective parents and we DON'T have to accept anyone or give a reason.
Hope your CM knows where they live. I'd like to see what they would think about her doing the same in THEIR house, just to see what kind of environment the child is coming FROM!

Sometimes it can be a real eye opener when you see what your mindees get up to in their own home.
What an absolute cheek! I would have told them to get out!

[miffy]

I think your childminder's had a very lucky escape!

Miffy xx

[Greengrass74]

This all sounds a bit suspicious to me, you stated

They demanded a list of names, ages and schools that current mindees were in and names, job occupations, telephone numbers and addresses for all parents because they wanted to know exactly who their child would be mixing with, whether they went to good schools, whether their parents had respectable careers, lived in good areas and what their backgrounds were.

Are you sure these people are who they say they are. We had a similar situation when I worked for the Police, it was a gang who used differant ways to find out when houses where empty, i.e. owners at work, then they would break in. I might be wrong but please beware that there are people out there that are very clever at getting all sorts on info from people/

[mr man]

wow thats shocking that - i thought the enquiry i had was over the top, but this is crazy. :panic:
mine asked me for paretns nnumbers, and they wanted to come back when my DH was home to meet him, and also my children.
i did put on here about it, and took the advice that was given as welll as what my gut was saying - i jsut knew i couldn't work with them.
I know our children are the most precious things, but wow the word 'cottonwool' comes to mind. :rolleyes:

[wendywu]

[
QUOTE=Dave;906091]This all sounds a bit suspicious to me, you stated

They demanded a list of names, ages and schools that current mindees were in and names, job occupations, telephone numbers and addresses for all parents because they wanted to know exactly who their child would be mixing with, whether they went to good schools, whether their parents had respectable careers, lived in good areas and what their backgrounds were.

Are you sure these people are who they say they are. We had a similar situation when I worked for the Police, it was a gang who used differant ways to find out when houses where empty, i.e. owners at work, then they would break in. I might be wrong but please beware that there are people out there that are very clever at getting all sorts on info from people/[/QUOTE]

Thats just what i was going to say.There is no way i would let any one into my house without an appointment.

And i certainly could not be off showing people my upstairs at tea time. Mindees need my full attention or else they run riot :panic:

[AliceK]

[

Thats just what i was going to say.There is no way i would let any one into my house without an appointment.
And i certainly could not be off showing people my upstairs at tea time. Mindees need my full attention or else they run riot :panic:[/QUOTE]

Same here. They wouldn't have got through the front door I'm afraid.

xxxxx

[Carol M]

This all sounds a bit suspicious to me, you stated

They demanded a list of names, ages and schools that current mindees were in and names, job occupations, telephone numbers and addresses for all parents because they wanted to know exactly who their child would be mixing with, whether they went to good schools, whether their parents had respectable careers, lived in good areas and what their backgrounds were.

Are you sure these people are who they say they are. We had a similar situation when I worked for the Police, it was a gang who used differant ways to find out when houses where empty, i.e. owners at work, then they would break in. I might be wrong but please beware that there are people out there that are very clever at getting all sorts on info from people/

My thoughts exactly!
We are very vulnerable to things like this and as we are generally a trusting lot we allow strangers into our house, sometimes with mindees present:panic:
I try to arrange a first meeting when I am not working, then after I have their details another visit can be arranged with children present as parents obviously want to see us working. Even second and third visits I arrange to have other adults present,my daughter, another minder maybe my dh. If a prospective parent turns up unexpectedly I would be refusing entry and quoting my duty of care to mindees and to come at arranged time!!
Carol xx

[wendywu]

[
On Friday they turned up, completely unannounced right after she got back from the school run. She explained that they had an appointment for Monday and could they please come back then, but their response was that they didn't want an arranged visit, they wanted to see her 'in her natural environment''!

I would have said " sorry but my natural environment is a safe and secure one for the children i care for and im a strong enough person to insist on that ,so im very sorry but im afraid your not coming in. Look at it this way one day it could be your child that is inside my house with strangers trying to force their way in " :p :p

[green puppy]

Sounds awful for the poor cm, but this is why I never have a first meeting during work hours. I like to meet the parents first to discuss their needs without having to take my attention away from the mindees. If I can offer a space and feel that I can work with them then I arrange a visit during hours, not always a set time but perhaps between a time frame ie, 10am-11am or 4pm-5pm.

[Pipsqueak]

Parents would NEVER have got past the initial 'turned up unnounced' statement let alone into my house.

They would have been told the vacancy was no longer available.


and then i would have been ringing all my colleagues and Cdo's to advise about these parents.

[babs]

i would of explained i was working and they could come back at appointment time and they wouldn't like prospective parents turning up unannounced if their child was here. At the end of the day she is safeguarding all children in her care and couldn't possibly show them round while minding as couldn't watch both parents and children.. and as a parent i think i would of said something about them turning up and walking round when my child was been minded. i always make parents aware if i have others parents viewing and 1st appointment is when im not working i invite them back to look around when im working if they want to come before signing up..

[Helen Dempster]

That is disgusting...I would've chucked 'em out my house. How dare they! :angry:

[Chimps Childminding]

When we were looking for a Nursing Home for mum we were advised to "turn up unannounced" however knowing how I would hate it if someone did that to me I booked appointments. For one thing its not always convenient for someone just to drop in, especially for us who work alone most of the time anyway, you can't be showing people around and supervising lunch etc.

Wonder if they managed to get someone who met all their demands :eek:

[rickysmiths]

I agree with Pip.

They would never have got in my door, I have the chain on in the day anyway. I never arrange inital visits during minding hours anyway because I don't feel I can give my full attention to the parents and get a feel of their child if I have to concentrate on mindees.

I don't like inviting strangers into my house whenI am alone with the children either and that is what a new family is. I always arrange a first visit at the weekend or in the evening when dh is here and my children so they can meet us as a family and I can show them arround and talk to them.

No parents ever go upstairs. My whole house is registered but they have to trust that Ofsted inspect the area and as it is registered, it is deemed safe and suitable to use. I explain that upstairs are our bedrooms and they are strictly private.

I never give all deatils of other mindees to new parents, I discuss briefly how many and what ages would be with their child but no detail. I only offer references with phone numbers if they come for a second visit and then take my parents folder to look at in detail.

With this couple I would have called the Police via 999 the minuite they started off around the house if they had got in, and I would have called my Emergency Minders to get one of them round asap to support me.

I would definately never take them on as parents and I would tell them why. I would warn all the local minders I know to avoid them as well.

The utter cheek if they were geniune; but as Dave said were they?

[wendywu]

Just because they turn up does not mean you have to let them in. I agree they would have been sent packing.

The Original Post just made me feel uneasy. These people sound really weird, but to be honest i did have a small nagging doubt in the back of my mind that anyone would put up with being spoken too in such a way in their own home.

Would you really take someone upstairs in your home because they demanded it. Would you really stand by and watch someone rifle through your fridge !!!

The whole thing sound surreal :panic:

[Erika]

I have no idea whether they were genuine or not, as I (fortunately) didn't have the displeasure of meeting them. Either they are as Dave suggests - trying something or they are completely out of touch with the reality of childminding. I certainly wouldn't allow someone to go into my rooms or open my fridge but from what she tells me there wasn't a lot of choice involved, they just did it, and she did ask them to leave in the end after telling them that she couldn't offer what they wanted. Her mistake was allowing them through the door in the first place but as she had no children after dropping mine at school (no other kids on a Friday) I assume she didn't have a problem with it other than it being an inconvenience as they weren't expected till Monday.

[wendywu]

I think i would have been a bit uneasy being alone in my house with this man and woman. They sound a tad too forceful and over powering. Bit like one of those horror thriller films. :eek: :eek:

Did they bring their child with them ? I think your minder has had a lucky escape :panic:

[Greengrass74]

I think we should all be aware of who we let in to our homes, maybe we should be asking for I.D. and address details, if you feel unsure then ask another CM to be present, or just don't let them in. If unsure give the Police a call. It takes a couple of minutes for them to carry out a check, they will not tell you any specific details but can let you know if they are known to them. A genuine person would not mind this, if anything they would applaude your vigilance

This may seem a bit OTT but like I said whilst working for the Police I witnessed some horrible people trying allsorts. This link gives a bit of advice

http://www.crimestoppers-uk.org/crime-prevention/helping-prevent-crime/distraction-burglary

Lets all be safe

[Carol M]

Thanks Dave, good link for us all to read and be aware of.
Carol x

[Mollymop]

As soon as the parent's turned up unannounced they would have been sent away!!
If they returned and started towards my stairs without permission they would have been told to leave my house immediately! How very very rude!!:angry:

[Sleeping Baby]

So was it just me who thought about giving them the address of the local sex shop or pole dancing club as parent occupations then! :blush: Oh dear

[WibbleWobble]

So was it just me who thought about giving them the address of the local sex shop or pole dancing club as parent occupations then! :blush: Oh dear


tee hee....you were not alone

[flora]

OMG you have just described the first family I nannyied for :eek: :panic: :eek:

I lasted 2 months before I was so ill with the stress of it all I got another job.

They needed to know every cough, burp and trump that the baby did and would decide everything for me and I was n't allowed to decide anyhting for myself of use my own judegemnt :(

[catminder]

OMG! This is unbelievable:panic: They would of had a bit of a shock if they had been looking upstairs in my house and stumbled across my teenage daughter's bedroom! If they were genuine parents then they were definately being unreasonable at best, although as mentioned above they could of been up to no good. I agree we should be on our guard when strangers come knocking at our doors, goodness knows what might of happened if there had been children in the house at the time!