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KimW
07-04-2011, 07:14 PM
I've had a 5 year old now for over a year and have built up a good relationship with Mum, Dad absent. Mindee has struck up a friendship at school with the child of a drug dealer. (Debateable whether she still is, but certainly was) The whole family are "unsavoury". However Mum seems keen :panic: . Next week Mum wants the drug dealer (current or ex) to collect from me mid morning and take child to hers to play. I'm not keen on her knowing my address for obv reasons. I will have other kids present at the time. Is there anything i can do? :ohdear:

muffins
07-04-2011, 07:23 PM
You could say you've got to out so could drop her off at this persons house?

KimW
07-04-2011, 07:30 PM
This person lives miles away. :(

blue bear
07-04-2011, 07:45 PM
Could you not go to toddlers or soft play and agree to meet them there. Otherwise just say no but careful what you say about this family you dont want to be done for slander

KimW
07-04-2011, 07:49 PM
I could but tbh i don't want to be seen in public with her either. Have said i'd rather she didn't have my address, but just wasn't sure where i stood. Mum knows they have drug dealings but seems happy that it's in the past. Personally i wouldn't be!

westbrom44
08-04-2011, 04:13 PM
No way would I do this. Just tell mum she is welcome to take the child herself but you will never be available to. Be firm, you dont have to if you dont feel comfortable.

miffy
08-04-2011, 05:25 PM
If you don't want this person to have your address (and I completely understand why) then I think you have to say so - you don't need to explain just tell mum that she will have to take the child herself or have this person collect from her house. Be sure mum understands that you cannot be responsible for the child whilst she is in someone else's care.

Miffy xx

ChocolateChip
08-04-2011, 05:58 PM
Think you need to stand your ground and say no to this one!
You don't have to explain yourself but mum will obviously ask why so just say that you can't have strangers calling at the house and interrupting your plans/ routines/ care of the children so she must arrange playdates on her own time.

KimW
09-04-2011, 04:47 PM
Mum knows my reason. The child was being picked up from school by the other mum this week, so i had to say something. She was fine about me telling her and understood. She even called me when the child was returned safely to tell me how well it had gone. Thing is it's one thing to arrange this between them two as an after school thing but i do not want to be involved and have her collected from here.
Mum has now said i haven't got the child on that day so not sure what is happening.
Thanks for the replies. I do feel reassured now that i did the right thing. Just wasn't sure what my rights were.
It's still far from ideal but the responsibility is with Mum, not me. I have informed her.