15mth old just won't engage with me

[newandlearning]

hi all.. I'm beginning to feel soo low with this one child .. when she first came to me she was great.. she settled in almost immediately and every day was good.. then when she turned 12 months around xmas .. she came back after hols and she's rarely smiled since.. I have her 3 days..

sometimes if I tickle her she smiles and sometimes she doesn't.. if I ask her to give me toys or to come into kitchen for snack she just looks at me blankly... she won't open her legs for nappy changes it all feels like hard work..

you could say she is constantly trying to find her place in my setting and is just being thoughtful alot... but nothing seems to change her way of being with me.. everytime there is eye contact she is SOOOO serious...

and all in all its dragging me down... I feel a complete failure with this child...

has anyone else found this with a child.. I just feel at a complete loss.:(

[pinky33]

Yep we have one of those, icant give any help I'm afraid because we have tried everything and no change after a year.
Sad to say were going to give notice it's bringing everyone down.

Big hugs x x

[RainbowMum]

Do you feel she has taken a backwards step developmentally? There are conditions that dont manifest till around this age - have a word with parents - see if they have noticed any changes?
Otherwise has there been upheaval at home of any kind?
If all else seems normal then try not to take it to heart and give it time xxx

[Pipsqueak]

my 24month old mindee is very hard work. he is lovely but very hard work

he has limited comprehension, no vocab at all (just very early, limited baby noises),
he is used to getting his own way and being babied by nanna
he won't interact at all - sulking more often than not if you show/demonstrate/parallel play/talk to/look at/praise
he is not a particuarly happy child either - seems to be in his own world most of the time

we are slowly getting there and some days I feel totally drained

[pinky33]

Omg Pip!
This sounds like our child, HV is checking it all out to see if there is any underlying issues.
It can be so very draining.

[MaryMary]

My niece was like this. As a baby she just didn't smile :eek:
You would do all the usual playing peepo, tickling, funny faces, etc and she would just look at you :panic: Makes you feel really stupid!!
From a very early age, she would get absorbed in arts & crafts, colouring, drawing, making stuff. She was way above average in these things. She is now 5, and is totally 'normal'. She is very bright, and still totally absorbed in what she is doing. I wouldn't say this to her mum & dad, but I don't feel that we have a good relationship with her though. She kept us at a distance (sounds dramatic, as she was only a baby!), and we haven't built on that (she is a spoilt little diva, which doesn't help!!). Her little brother, is totally the opposite!! He is a funny little man, and always responded well to adults & older children.
It sounds harsh, but children like this are really hard work!! Good luck :thumbsup: