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View Full Version : Difference in parenting or safegaurding issue?



Bernie
23-03-2011, 11:36 AM
I have a 5yr old boy who comes from a 'normal' family (in my opinion). Mindees dad is into military vehicles and war things, which naturally has rubbed off onto the 5yr old. However the other day mindee told me on the school run that he was very tired because he had stayed up late watching a war film. When I asked him which one he said 'Saving Private Ryan'!!!! He went into more detail and it was clear he meant the Tom Hanks film with shocking scenes and horrific violence.

I have wrote up the conversation for my files, however I was wondering if I should query it with the parents? He said they let him watch it.

Is it any of my business for me to question parenting differences?

What would you do?

MAWI
23-03-2011, 11:46 AM
I think you have done the right thing in logging it. It is a difficuly one because, it did not happen in your setting and you cannot enforce your rules on parents.

The only thing I would worry about is if it filtered into his play, e.g wants to hurt, fight etc... with the others. Also at the age of five, it could be classed as abuse ( I know someone is shouting at me while I type that), but really Its not suitable visual material for a five year old. Also, the dreams or knightmares he could experience form it in the near future and possibly behavioural problems. There is a reason they classify films normally. My 15 year old watched that film recently and she squirmed in parts.

I had a situation where a child had watched films repeatedly at home and it became a safeguarding issue, so I had to give notice. It was very upsettin as Id cared for her for 3 years (she was aged 9) and had a fantastic relationship with her parents, but at the end of the day, Its your business, children you care for and reputation you have to protect. They were from a very well to do family and very professioanl people too. As long as you dont think there is much more to it, then I wouldnt worry. Maybe, you could look at doing something positive from his interest in it, e.g Military and how they protect our Country etc... or how they help in emergencies ( disasters etc) Im sure someone with more knowledge will be on soon.
It is a tough one. I feel for you
Hugs:)

Pipsqueak
23-03-2011, 12:32 PM
I think its a difference in parenting and agree with Mawi about it filtering into play.

Perhaps you could mention to parents that child has said this and that of course in your setting you cannot allow them watch age inappropriate films etc and have to be careful about the manner of play - then thank them for the understanding.