Why Bother ?

[Pipsqueak]

Last week we spent ages making flowers out of paper plates and straws, foam, tissue etc etc - we have a florists shop by the end of the week! lol

Kids tookj theirs home... P has just said to me can we make some more because Mummy threw mine away:( :(

This mummy KEEPS doing stuff like this, like when we decorated umbrellas, potted plants up, done t-shirts etc - all apparently thrown away.

Quite apart from the kids time and effort - its MY time and effort and money.

I know some parents don't value the stuff their LO's make and produce but this is now beginning to take the mickey.

[It's a small world]

I dont know how people can do this, this is something their child has done and guessing proud of , plus its a memory of when they were younger (something to look back on when their older)

Im lucky one of my parents keeps everything.They have a special folder that all mindees work goes in. If its something that wont keep they take a photo (although I usually also have a photo for their LJ).

I too do this - keep things or have photos.

Your mindee obviously upset if asked to make another one. Could you mention to mum - ask if they threw it away and say mindee asked to make another so guess was upset ??

I know what you mean though its time, effort by yourself and mindee and money. !!!!

[Blackcat]

you clearly bother because his mum doesn't

[AliceK]

I don't get why some parents are like that. I have a huge artists folder with loads of stuff my DS has made / drawn / painted over the years. When my children make anything I will always leave it on display for a while and then it either gets put away to keep or discreetly buried at the bottom of the bin if it's not something I can justify keeping. Makes me sad when parents don't at least pretend to love what their child has made. Maybe you could keep a special box at your house and he could keep some things there to look at when he wants to and feel proud of?

xxx

[snufflepuff]

Aww bless him. I find it really sad when parents are like this.

I think i'd let him make another one, then explain to Mum later than LO asked to make it again because he was upset about Mum throwing the last one away. (Maybe say you'll be keeping it at your house for everyone to see because all your resources cost too much to just be thrown in the bin!)

[kindredspirits]

I sort of agree with you and can't make out the mentality - but you bother because it is a good experience for the kids to encourage their learning and development. It makes no difference to you financially if the parents store them in a box in the loft or put them in the bin.
I'd be having a quiet word in mums ear and explain that whilst you understand that there is not enough room to store everything mindee makes it is damaging to his self esteem if he SEE's everything thrown into the bin - perhaps mum could put a box aside for his creations and store things until such time as mindee has forgotton he made them iykwim.

[Kiddleywinks]

Aww bless their hearts :(

Some parents just don't 'get it' do they?! They're not likkle for long :(

I'm the other end of the scale mind.....I've kept EVERYTHING :blush: Both dd and ds have a suitcase full to bursting of anything they made, at home, the pre-school gubbins, and then primary school.
Not so much high school stuff, most of the stuff that comes home now is food or certificates lol, but yes I still keep them.

I would certainly be sharing littlee's obvious disappointment with parent, but I would also be wondering what sort of future negative effect parents actions could have too! Low self esteem, nothing is ever good enough (or at least not good enough to keep for even a little while)

So sad

[barbarella68]

In my loft I have 2 big plastic boxes of the stuff my son made while at nursery and now that he makes at school, I can't bare to throw it away. Why are people so heartless?:(

[marnieb]

I think that's heartbreaking, poor mindee!!!!

And I'm the same - ds is 7 and I have a box in the loft of everything he's made over the years!!!!!!!!

[Pipsqueak]

i keep everything (well mostly) that my 3 boys have done.

I will do some more with mindee - always do bless her - but it will stay proudly pinned up on my wall

[keatingschick]

I know a minder who keeps the stuff at her house because she knows mummy has a "special place to file artwork" (the bin).

I know that sometimes the fact that a child might paint 50 paintings and maybe the mums think "well I can only stick so many up" but for SPECIAL things then they should keep them.

I was thrilled when we did a CD hanging butterfly (I love doing stuff with CDS cos it catches the light), and one of my minder friends asked if one of the children minded lived on a certain streeet near her - he did - and she had seen it hanging in the front window and she said the sun was shining on it and it looked fab. I was really thrilled at that that mum had obviously liked what we had done and was displaying it and know her little fella would have been bursting with pride.

[Chimps Childminding]

We made St Patrick's Day wobbly headbands last week, spent ages cutting out different sized Shamrocks for lo's to decorate them with and used pipecleaners with 2 large Shamrocks stuck on to "wobble" :) One lo said "don't let my mummy get her hands on it" why? June and I asked - because she will either throw it in the bin or on the fire, was the reply :eek:

when we laughingly told mummy on collection what lo had said, her reply was "she knows me so well" :angry:

Its such a shame, we know you can't keep everything every child makes/draws, but surely even a day or two woulnd't hurt? I used to keep my kids stuff up on the wall all week, and it got taken down and either put away (if I wanted to keep it) or in the recycling bin!

[Helen79]

I must be really heartless cos I throw my kids art work away :( Obviously not in front of them though.
With 2 kids and a tiny flat I just haven't got room to keep everything that they make. I keep the nice stuff but when dd comes home with 3 junk model creations every day I just haven't got room for it all.
I really wish that people would be a bit more thoughtful to the fact there are parents on this forum who may be offended by some comments that are made about parents.

[keatingschick]

I've also thrown stuff away Helen. I've got stuff that my own children made when at school, but obviously stacks and stacks and stacks that you never actually look at, and my husband doesnt have a sentimental bone in his body so he sees it as CLUTTER.
But I do have ODD special things, like there is something my daughter made for Xmas, mind you she always jokes that if she makes anything it wouldnt be allowed in my living room unless it absolutely matched!!!
And I also have a picture on the wall which she did YEARS ago, I just find it very approapriate, she was learning about fire safety at school, and she had drawn a burning building and people getting out, so thats over the top of my fire action poster with STOP DROP AND ROLL.

[Pipsqueak]

I really wish that people would be a bit more thoughtful to the fact there are parents on this forum who may be offended by some comments that are made about parents.

I think in the main there are PLENTY of people who are thoughtful on this forum;) and VERY sensitive towards the parents/clients. There is always going to be something on this forum that someone either as a client/parent or childminder can or does choose to take offence or umbrage to - however as i say in the main this forum and its members are extremely respectful, thoughtful and considerate. I fully understand and appreciate that not everything can be kept for a multitude of reasons and do not slate anyone for it - but if you carefully read the posts it does refer to and the concensus is about those parents who seem to throw away EVERYTHING - not the 3 junk models every day.

However, the way I view it - it IS primarily a forum for childminders to unwind/vent/express etc is it not? Are us practitioners not allowed to be disappointed/hurt/upset, express/view/vent? As a parent myself there has been plenty on here I have not agreed with or liked but I don't jump up and start accusing people of not being thoughtful enough, I can argue my point or express myself without doing that. There has been no malice intended.

I wonder if clients ever give it a thought about the hard work/effort/time that goes into the creations by their children and the same +money by the practitioners.

[Mcgons]

I throw most stuff away but have it on display for a while. I hate hoarding too much stuff. All my ds paintings etc from nursery I scanned the best ones and printed off as photos and they are in his album. I do keep certain things in an art folder under his bed but he never looks at it and don't think he will when he's older either, so I go through it once a year to see what still has sentiment and what doesn't.

[mama2three]

Agreed Pip , and if there are parents out there reading this who take umbridge at this particular vent then Good - maybe it will make them think just what harm they are doing to their childs self esteem.
I dont / wont / cant keep everything either , but wouldnt let ds know that , to them they are producing an absolute masterpiece , and who am I to say otherwise?

[Pipsqueak]

Mcgons - why do you think he won't look at it in later years?

Mu mum kept the majority of our stuff and we LOVE looking at it now we are older, my kids love looking at my stuff too, certificates, first writing/news books, pictures etc. My mum has stuff from when she was small 70 years ago - its amazing too look at and the cycle and history of what was expected of small children. I suppose I look at it from a family historian POV and also i suppose it depends on what value or stock you place in certain things I guess.

[The Juggler]

i keep everything (well mostly) that my 3 boys have done.

I will do some more with mindee - always do bless her - but it will stay proudly pinned up on my wall

i don't keep everythign for ever but everything paper/cardboard, plants is appreciated, displayed and then photographed and recycled - depending on what it is. I have lovely ceramics that the kids made for me with their CM when only 2 or 3.

I have mums like yours hon. If I'm honest I don't make anything except a card for her anymore (and then only to keep mindee happy). other mums do appreciate and I make mothers day, birthday things with them but despite ceramics, egg cups, mugs, glasses, photoframes, I've never had a thank you and probably they did go in the bin. Last comment to a junk model creation was 'oh my god what is that' in front of her dd :rolleyes: :panic:

Actually now with this mindee we bake a lot and this does seem to go down well with mum so maybe I'll just do cake making for birthdays/mothers days rather than trying to create something 'different' and creative :rolleyes:

[kindredspirits]

totally agree Pip - i had the family from hell as a child, but it was still the highlight of my christmas to have my home-made cracker (just loo roll and crete paper) from when I was 3 put on the xmas tree. My parents were probably the worst you could get but it still made me feel good that they kept my rubbish little cracker with wonky writing on! ;)

[PixiePetal]

I have to admit to having thrown stuff away too. Not immediately or in front of children but after a bit of display time.

Items made from pottery/ special occasion things, news books from infant school days all their school termly project books, reports and particular favourites are in big art files in the loft so we do have something to look back on.

My kids are no longer kids, at 14 and almost 17, and I think the files will come out if ever they become parents but we would be snowed under if I kept everything.

When we moved house I went through the files and got rid of some bits which really had no sentimental value and they were fine with it - they even asked why I kept some in the first place - well, they looked so good at the time :rolleyes:

[Mcgons]

Mcgons - why do you think he won't look at it in later years?

Mu mum kept the majority of our stuff and we LOVE looking at it now we are older, my kids love looking at my stuff too, certificates, first writing/news books, pictures etc. My mum has stuff from when she was small 70 years ago - its amazing too look at and the cycle and history of what was expected of small children. I suppose I look at it from a family historian POV and also i suppose it depends on what value or stock you place in certain things I guess.

My mum kept loads of our stuff too, in fact she's just dug out the scrapbooks I made for Charles and Diana's wedding! I love looking back but my brother is not bothered and my dh said he wouldn't be either. So I have kept stuff that would be good to look back at but am not necessarily expecting my ds to want to. We'll see!

[watgem]

I totally agree Pip.when I worked at preschool one of the mums would throw her little ones creations in the bin on her way out of the preschool, so we would pick it up and put it in the child's learning journey. children have a right to be valued and respected too.

[carol cameron]

Having read your thoughts on this subject it would seem that people have mixed feelings about keeping children's artwork.
However, everyone agrees that children should be encouraged and praised for producing these 'treasures' and that ,I think, is why so many childminders are disappointed that parents don't always do this.:(
As someone else has noted, this is primarily a site for childminders so I really think we should be allowed to express our thoughts and feelings without worrying about what others may think.They are our views after all.:)

[Helen79]

As someone else has noted, this is primarily a site for childminders so I really think we should be allowed to express our thoughts and feelings without worrying about what others may think.They are our views after all.


Well that's very sad that you wouldn't worry about offending other members of the forum and a lot of parents who may be reading it.
I agree and understand that it is a site mainly for cm and agree partly with what pip said too, however lots of us on here are parents as well as childminders and some of the reactions and comments to a parent throwing away artwork are a little strong, to be called heartless and that I am damaging my child's self esteem is thoughtless and hurtful.
I do so much to make my children feel valued in a house which isn't there own anymore because of childminding. Unfortunately I just don't have room to keep loads of artwork, same as a lot of the parents of the children we look after.
Sorry if I have over reacted, There's so much I feel guilty for for doing this job and being a parent too and comments like the ones on this thread have hit a raw nerve.

[LOOPYLISA]

In my loft I have 2 big plastic boxes of the stuff my son made while at nursery and now that he makes at school, I can't bare to throw it away. Why are people so heartless?:(

Snap :thumbsup:

[Pipsqueak]

Well that's very sad that you wouldn't worry about offending other members of the forum and a lot of parents who may be reading it.
I agree and understand that it is a site mainly for cm and agree partly with what pip said too, however lots of us on here are parents as well as childminders and some of the reactions and comments to a parent throwing away artwork are a little strong, to be called heartless and that I am damaging my child's self esteem is thoughtless and hurtful.
I do so much to make my children feel valued in a house which isn't there own anymore because of childminding. Unfortunately I just don't have room to keep loads of artwork, same as a lot of the parents of the children we look after.
Sorry if I have over reacted, There's so much I feel guilty for for doing this job and being a parent too and comments like the ones on this thread have hit a raw nerve.

No one has said you are being heartless though, what we are referring to is the bit where parents are being so blatently obvious about throwing things away - for my mindee to constantly tell me that mummy throws it away.....
shows a total disregard for her own child and also for me (but that is my personal opinion). Before Xmas I bought some blank canvas umbrellas and we spent AGES painting them up - mummy threw it away - and mummy admitted this when I asked. Last years Easter baskets we made, decorated and produced - got thrown away and so on.


Can I just ask why you feel guilty about doing this job? Just curious. I

[Kiddleywinks]

I must be really heartless cos I throw my kids art work away :( Obviously not in front of them though.
With 2 kids and a tiny flat I just haven't got room to keep everything that they make. I keep the nice stuff but when dd comes home with 3 junk model creations every day I just haven't got room for it all.
I really wish that people would be a bit more thoughtful to the fact there are parents on this forum who may be offended by some comments that are made about parents.



Helen, on the flip side, is not reasonable to assume that childminders are offended by some comments made by parents.....?? Sorry just playing devils advocate :littleangel:

It isn't heartless to throw kids artwork away, it is sometimes necessary, as in your particular case where space is limited. However, by your own admission you keep the nice stuff so you shouldn't feel offended by the replies made, including my own. Nor should any parent that is unable to keep everything


However... could you, the person reading this post, as a parent of say, an under 5, in front of/at the time it was given/with your child in attendance/with your child's full and total knowledge bin what ever item that under 5 year old had lovingly and enthusiastically made, maybe over a period of a few days/weeks.
Could you/would you BIN IT in front of them and not feel guilty?

A parent that does do all of that - and there are plenty out there, and that does not bat an eyelid is the type of parent that potentially could cause emotional damage and self esteem issues to their impressionable little one.
Imagine for one second how proud and excited LO would have felt about the whole making and then presenting the item (painting, drawing, picture frame, plant pot etc etc etc) for it to be dismissed in the same way as junk mail, food scraps and other 'rubbish'
What message does that send to them?

PARENTS
By all means get rid LATER, discreetly, without their knowledge, when they've gone to bed, give it a couple of days pride of place beforehand, but always after a bit of enthusiasm and fuss and acknowledgement has been given to that adoring child that has you on the highest of pedestals. It may be the 23rd ruddy Mothers day card you've had that day, doesn't mean there is any less effort been made, any less love, or any less enthusiasm that went into making it.
Your CM thinks enough of your child to listen to what they wanted to do especially just for you, for Xmas, Mothers day, your birthday or just because they wanted to say they loved you/missed you today

ps. I speak from personal experience of negative self esteem as a child, hence why I feel 'qualified' to comment, and also one of the reasons I became a child minder!

[Polly2]

I look after a lo who's parents are not together and they stand and argue (playfully)on my front door over who is going to take the artwork home :) They both want it!

I think it makes lo feel really special.

I do understand that not everything can be kept though - having 4 kids of my own I have to be selective - its how its done isn't it like others have said :thumbsup:

[rickysmiths]

In my loft I have 2 big plastic boxes of the stuff my son made while at nursery and now that he makes at school, I can't bare to throw it away. Why are people so heartless?:(

I have this. 2 big pink ones for dd and 2 big blue ones for ds. I have kept some of their favourtie clothes, art works etc. we go through them sometimes and have a little cull but even now they are 18 and 16 I still add to them. Theatre ticket and programmes, certificates, travel memories. My mum did this with us and my dd wore some of the dresses I had as a toddler and a lovely white furry coat my mum made for me that has now gone into dd box. Just sad my mum didn't live to see her grand daughter wearing it. :(

I have been lucky with my mindee parents so far. I know one that don't keep things for long, but they do for a while and always valued what was achieved by their dd.

[Tinglesnark]

Oh poor littlies!

I dont keep everything but i ALWAYS keep the pictures and other bits that they are proud of. I have scrap book that i glue the pictures in to (they have one each) i make a point of being astounded at their cleverness when they show me their creations because i know all to well what it feels like to be overlooked and made to feel unimportant and am determined that the children in my house, my own and my mindees get to feel like they are the best of the bunch when they are here so that it doesnt nip quite so much if they arent appreciated at home :D

[sandy64]

as a childminder i agree its very upseting for the child to no mummys thrown away there lovely art work without really looking at it it does take us time effort and money yes it is our job but still nice to no most parents enjoy there kids work. ive a dad who throws it in back of car and when i say to mum did you like x pictures she never saw them sad.
i understand after so long throwing art work as not everyone has space to keep, everythink. lol like me ive still got scrap book of my d.d aged 27 stuff in loft:laughing: :)

[Vickster]

I keep some things and throw others from my children, too much too keep. I don't expect my parents to keep anything I send them home with, anything that is good (they are proud of) gets put on display and then in their folder.

[LOOPYLISA]

I have this. 2 big pink ones for dd and 2 big blue ones for ds. I have kept some of their favourtie clothes, art works etc. we go through them sometimes and have a little cull but even now they are 18 and 16 I still add to them. Theatre ticket and programmes, certificates, travel memories. My mum did this with us and my dd wore some of the dresses I had as a toddler and a lovely white furry coat my mum made for me that has now gone into dd box. Just sad my mum didn't live to see her grand daughter wearing it. :(

I have been lucky with my mindee parents so far. I know one that don't keep things for long, but they do for a while and always valued what was achieved by their dd.

Awww , my mum kept my dresses i wore as a baby, my dd wore them too :thumbsup: