I'm a bit miffed

[Happy Bunny]

This is sort of to do with childminding and on a personal level, so bear with me.
I had a friend who used to come round to my house once a week for a coffee, she used to get a bit miffed that I would not visit her house during the day, but I explained to her that due to my mindees routines i couldn't bring them to her house. (to be honest her house was not child friendly and she has OCD so the slightest bit of mess used to make her run around with the cloth)
Well a few months ago she was a bit ill, i offer help with running her children to school etc but she replied that her family were helping her.
Now since then I haven't heard from her apart from a few brief hello's occasionally if we meet in the street.
Apparently she is annoyed with me for not visiting her, I have tried apologizing but she is not having none of it.
I have found it hard this past year juggling work, personal issues myself, college work plus my families needs so feel a bit frustrated.

[sillysausage]

Well first off:group hug:
If I was you I would send my friend a nice card apologizing once more, giving your reasons for not visiting (if she'd taken you up on your offer re her kids you would have seen her more often!) and saying that you miss and value your friendship and your chats over coffee. Tell her that during your working hours it is impractical etc (maybe use ofsted as a reason) to visit her home but she is always welcome at yours or maybe you can arrange to meet up outside of your minding hours.
Tell her you are really enjoying your new career and that it has made such a difference on your home finances (basically lay it on thick the importance of your work), how your studying is coming along etc.
I would finish by asking her to get in touch.

[The Juggler]

oh hon, that's hard. I don't go to friends often when working either as I find it difficult as they expect me to just sit and chat with them not play with the kids so I just don't. I do if they are other CM's obviously but I take the same view as you.

I too might try sending her a card/letter explaining and say you miss her?

[PixiePetal]

Like Juggler, I visit CM friends when working (only have one who is not a CM :rolleyes: and she was a nanny when I was and has her own 3yr old so aware of my work)

If you were in any other job you wouldn't be able to pop in and see her in your working day, she really needs to understand this - bit like people thinking we can do our housework and ironing just because we are at home!

A card sems a good idea to clear the air and put the ball in her court - a true friend would understand - big XXhugsXX to you

[miffy]

Has she told you she's annoyed with you or did that come through someone else?

Either way, if you value her friendship then I would make one last attempt to patch things up - maybe invite her to meet you for coffee in town or something.

If she doesn't want to know then I'd accept defeat.

Miffy xx

[SammyM]

This drives me mad with my friends too, If I worked in an office or a shop I wouldnt go to a friends house for a coffee and a couple of hours, and likewise I would hope that they would not come into my office / shop and expect to be waited on and made coffees etc.

But just because I happen to work from home, its not classed as the same - WHY??!!! AARRGGHHHHHHHHHHH :panic: :panic: :panic:

[Happy Bunny]

Well i tried apologizing but will have to admit defeat.
I think she is annoyed for the fact that i didn't try to see her in the evening. which is very impractical for me as i have my children to see to and no-one else could have looked after them for me.
I will just have to put a stiff upper lip on and try to ignore the looks on the school run.

[wendywu]

I would tell her to grow up.

If this is the biggest problem she has to cope with in her life then i can only assume she is a out and out drama queen.

Let her strop and moan behind your back all she likes. While you get with being a grown up coping with the task of real life .:panic: :panic:

[The Juggler]

Agree with Wendy. You've tried apologising now I'd say look actually I think you are behaving childishly. I'm happy to continue our friendship but I'm not going to be made to feel guilty about taking my job seriously or not popping round every evening.

Let's make a date and meet up. Then leave it with her hon. It's sad when these things happens but hopefully you'll meet some lovely new minder friends. :thumbsup:

[FussyElmo]

I do agree with the posts above however perhaps your friend thought it was very one sided. You said that your friend came every week for coffee not sure when in the day it was but if I went to a friends house every week and they never came to mine I would actually be a bit miffed.