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Debbieanne
09-03-2011, 04:51 PM
I need to vent...i mind a 5 1/2 yr old and she's still pooing her knickers, she will only do it in the toilet when i leave her there for about half an hour after words with her, and then what a mess all on the seat. she comes back from school stinking ( not nice for the other children, and they all moan about the smell to her which has no effect)it takes me ages to clean her up, and tonight i stood her in the bath and showered her bottom as it was all down her legs, i got through loads of wipes then gave up and put her in the bath. i've left a message for mum asking to have a word tonight when she comes at 6.20. to collect her.
driving me mad it's been going on ever since i first had her which is 2 yrs in oct.

Blackcat
09-03-2011, 04:54 PM
I would surgest getting mum to take her to see a doctor, maybe there is an underline bowel problem?

Deb
09-03-2011, 04:57 PM
wow, you seem really upset about this. And, I have to say, it seems to be all about how it effects you. Poor little love. Lots of children have problems with pooing, usually a psychological problem that soon becomes a physiological one when they get into a cycle of withholding and then not being able to do anything about it.

Do you want advice about how to help the girl and her parents or do you want a 'hugs hun it's awful' sort of reply?

eta: reading back that seems a bit harsh! I have an 11 year old boy with Down's that does this and it annoys me too.

mama2three
09-03-2011, 05:01 PM
After 2 years i can see why you would have an odd day where you want to rant! She is obviously the same at school , but what about at home? If Mum hasnt already been to the docs then urge her to go..the poor lo is going to be in pain , and also will soon start to be teased at school. My ds was 12 before we got the the bottom ( pardon the pun) of his problems , hopefully if she gets the right investigation and treatment now it can be sorted long before that.

Mouse
09-03-2011, 05:11 PM
Has her mum taken her to the doctor's about it? I think it;s quite common when children are at school that they won't use the toilet (no surprise considering how disgusting they get during the day). This leads to constipation and a problem with children soiling themselves as they can't stop the overflow. Often they don't even know they're doing it.

For everone's sake parents need to get it sorted out :thumbsup:

snufflepuff
09-03-2011, 05:15 PM
My brother used to do this. It was a medical condition, he wasn't just being naughty, he actually couldn't help it. Not sure what it is called or what they did to sort it out. I think your mindee needs to see a doctor. I hope they can help her.

georgie456
09-03-2011, 05:16 PM
Aw poor little thing - if it's been going on for so long then she needs to see a doctor.
She may have a psychological problem - my niece had this due to severe constipation for most of her infancy which left her frightened of doing a poo on the toilet. With lots of gentle support she overcame it.
This needs to be dealt with sensitively and to be honest, as unpleasant as it is for you to deal with, the poor thing most feel horrible.
You sound really angry about it, and I know it can be hard having to deal with these situations but think how she feels - I imagine she is fully aware that other children think she smells and that her having accidents makes adults exasperated - believe me - this DOES have an effect on her despite you thinking it doesn't.
Good luck with the chat with mum tonight.

jumpinjen
09-03-2011, 05:28 PM
Sorry you are so upset, I can only repeat what the others have said about seeing a doctor, and perhaps discussing with mum and the girl together a plan, as the girl is old enough to have a say in what happens and you need her co-operation too!! Maybe something along the lines of going to the bathroom as soon as you get home, with a fresh change of clothes from home ready for her once she has managed to poo. If she has held it all day she is probably very uncomfy by then so reluctant to do it... perhaps mum could make sure she has a fruit/veg/salad rich lunch box and a fruit snack for the way home in 'preparation' and then maybe some nice girly magazines or a special books that the girl could look at whilst on the loo? Special prizes for managing to sit still whilst doing it so it doesn't spread over her legs and the loo seat maybe (I'm not a big fan of rewards and bribes in this way but for short term interventions they can work!). Plus lots of reassurance and protecting her from other children's unkind remarks too!
Hugs, hope you get it sorted, Jen x

Debbieanne
09-03-2011, 05:42 PM
Mum has been giving her a polish( that she got from poland) solution to help her do a poo, and i think its working. for nearly 2 years i have been patient and clean her up, but i think pulling her knickers back up when they are very and i mean very soiled is unacceptable which is what she did yesterday. she has obviously got a bit of a mentle block about pooing ( mum has said it was dad shouting at her when she was just out of nappies that has caused her to hold it in). when she does do it in the toilet they are the size of logs.
Do i sound that hash???
I've spent most of this evening in the bathroom attending to her and had to leave the others. i've just cleaned her and the toilet up again in the last 10 minutes.
Waiting for mum now.

ziggy
09-03-2011, 05:46 PM
my daughter had a problem like this, we thought she was just being lazy and noticed she hated going to a toilet other than her own at home. Last year aged 20 she was diagnosed with severe dyspraxia and apparently a lot of children on the autistic spectrum have similar problems. Just a thought but i also how frustrating it can be, good luck

wendywu
09-03-2011, 06:08 PM
They must have noticed this at school as well, it is not only your problem they have to work together with you and the mum to devise a plan of action.

But she does need professional help if only to rule any problems out :thumbsup:

Debbieanne
09-03-2011, 06:44 PM
Thank you Jen for those very helpfull none critical words.
I spoke to mum and we agree that whilst she obviously has a problem going she does need to tell us when she has gone in her knickers. last year she hid behind the sofa or the slide in the garden to do the poo, that she seems to have stopped.
Mum and i have agreed that maybe a sticker chart for when she tells someone that she needs changing because at the moment when asked if she has clean knickers she will say yes when she hasn't. also mum is going to stop giving her the polish solution for now because it is not helping the situation.

Debbieanne
09-03-2011, 06:52 PM
Oh and another thing, i asked mum what has the doctor said, apparently " she needs to grow up"
I said that was harsh and we agreed on the sticker chart.
Oh and apparently dad slapped her for pooing on the floor when she was 2, mum is convinced that this is the root of the problem. i said yes maybe.i also asked mum tonight for alot more spare undies and clothes to help the situation.
Thanks for all your help, lets face it who else do us minders have to turn to!!

JCrakers
10-03-2011, 02:29 PM
Poor love and poor you for having to sort out the mess..:(
It's amazing what kids remember and could well be when dad told her off. She's obviously got a problem with this and probably needs a bit of help.

Its so easy as a parent to be cross when things like this happen but it can sometimes be a big problem for the child...poor love

Hope you get this sorted with Mum and Drs'

Becky x

LisaMcNally09
10-03-2011, 02:43 PM
My dd has exactly the same problem and is also 5 aswell. Because of this im sorry in advance if im going to sound harsh.

When a child has this ongoing problem the last thing they need is negativity all around them. If everywhere she turns everyone is getting upset with her because of accidents no wonder she isnt telling anyone when she has them. It may be psychological or it may be physical....who knows? Shes very unlikely to explain whats wrong if everyone around her is being so negative.

IMO less emphasis needs to be put on her when she has an accident. Clean up, say 'never mind try again next time' and leave it at that. Even if you arent saying anything negative you obviously feel annoyed and this may be coming across to the poor little mite.

Much more emphasis needs to be put on the times she does get it right. Just brush over the accidents.

Poor LO must feel terrible:(

mama2three
10-03-2011, 03:09 PM
At 51/2 she could maybe have a pack of wipes and spare pants in a little bag in your bathroom so she doesnt need to pull up dirty pants , or call you and highlight the problem to everyone. Maybe a pair in her schoolbag too. And I would urge mum to go and see another doctor , as I said before C was 12 before we got it sorted.



And so glad you added the bit about getting it from ploand as I was wondering what good 'polish' would do!

babs
10-03-2011, 04:55 PM
i had afterschooler that did this when she 1st came to me age 6, she would hold on all day at school then not make it when she got home. mum explained this to me and i said thats fine just pop spare stuff in her bag.. tbh shes not done it for a while but i did sit her down and ask why she wouldn't go at school she said to me they are always dirty ( i would go on a dirty loo either) but them some people just dont like going anywhere else other then at home me included.. as others have said ask mum to visit docs

Newbie1!
10-03-2011, 06:58 PM
Aww, I hope that one way or another this gets sorted out for you love, for your sake, the childs sake - in fact for everyones sake that is involved as it must be terribly difficult, and indeed at times trying for all of you. I certainly cant offer advice as I havent been in that situation. I have only ever had a problem "wee-er" and as a result now ask all parents to bring me a little PE type bag with a change of clothes in, even if its old trakkies and a pair of knicks, most are ok with doing this. Keep your chin up, do as much as you can to help them all and remember people are here to listen - I very often (in fact daily :blush: ) just rant about one thing or another so feel free!!! :) xx