what would you do?

[adele1985]

Ive been a register childminder for nearly a year now, I work in partnership with a friend who is also a registerd childminder, we work from my home and also employ 2 part time assistants. After paying all the business expences we split any profit between both of us.

We have decided that we are going to split in august, partly because I feel that my house has become more of a nursery than a home enviroment and partly because my friend wants to open a small nursery.

We havent told parents yer and dont plan to until May to give my friend a chance to get her new place sorted. One of the assistants is good friends with the other childminder and is going into partnership with her in august.

Me and the other childminder havent been getting on as well as normal lately, It feels like im bing pushed out of my own house and being talked about behind my bak maybee its just me being parnnoid

What does enryone think, what would you do in my situation ?????

[moogster1a]

Sounds like they've probably been getting together a lot more in preparation for working together. Not surprising really, but it isn't very nice if they're making you feel isolated. personally, I'd just brazen it out till August and try to stay professional and grown up.
Unfortunate that you feel uncomfortable in your own home but that's the downside of us working in our huses!
If it gets really bad I guess you could consider wrapping the business up earlier than planned.
re. the paranoia and being talked about, they're not planning on taking some of your parents with them are they?!! Have you discussed where you are going to steer the parents towards placing their children? I assume the new nursery will be direct competition?

[wendywu]

I would go out on my own now and hand pick the childrenfromthe setting that i wanted.

This way you will not allow the other two who are opening the nursery to pinch all the children. :mad:

[Mouse]

I think I'd feel a bit peeved that they're using you & your home until they're ready to go off and do their own thing. It's almost like you're their stop-gap until they've got things set up for their new venture.

I think I'd be tempted to get out of the current situation as soon as possible. The decision has been made that you're going to part company, so do it now and get on with running your own business - leave them to sort out their own side of things :thumbsup:

[Blackcat]

I think I'd feel a bit peeved that they're using you & your home until they're ready to go off and do their own thing. It's almost like you're their stop-gap until they've got things set up for their new venture.

I think I'd be tempted to get out of the current situation as soon as possible. The decision has been made that you're going to part company, so do it now and get on with running your own business - leave them to sort out their own side of things :thumbsup:

same here, your house sounds like it a free base until aug

[The Juggler]

I agree with the others. I would tell the other minder and assistant that they need to register their own house/home asap. shouldn't be too long as just their house not themselves - I'd hope.

Then you keep the children you want, tell the parents what's happenign and they can work from their homes until they open their nursery.

hope you are ok hon x

[adele1985]

thanx for all of your support girls :-) we have discussed that we are going to talk to parents and explain the situation on a one to one basis in may. We have decided to give all the parents all the information they need and they can then make a disission from there. Really i dont think it will be in direct comapatition as im based in my home as a childminder and she will be based in a diffrent type of setting

My partner agrees with all of you and said i should just tell parents noe and cut all ties but i really dont like confrontation, at the minuet my tactic is to just get on with it. Obversly if it continues or gets any worse ill have to deal with it.

I know it may sound petty but since we have started minding together becasue im always here as its my home I havent got the motavation and I know im not putting into it what I should be as im always thinking well shes not putting money or time into it so why should I

Since we decided to go our seprate ways I have put lots of money into the business buying new resourses for August and just keeping them in my spare bedroom.

My plan is to over the easter weekend Im going to take everything out of the playroom and paint it the colours I want it, put all the new curtains in it and then start putting the new resourses in it.

Do you think this is a good idea or do you think I should wait until August

Im just so excited about starting up on my own.

[rickysmiths]

If you are that far ahead with the planning I would look to ending the arrangement as soon as possible. What notice do you have to give each other? I would give the min and as it is my home I would speak to the parents and keep the ones you want to and can and offer to help find childcare for the others mentioning that the others are starting some kind of nursery in August and you will keep them in touch with what they are doing..

It could take months for Ofsted to register their homes and they may not bother and use you until August anyway, its not really that far away.

I wouldn't be re-decorating and putting in new resourses until I was working on my own.

When you know the others are leaving book a weeks holiday and do the revamp ready for the children coming back. Then it will really feel like a new start and mark the change for the children.

Good luck and look forward to all the profits instead of sharing them with 3 others. Oh and lots of space, it must have been crowded with extra children and 3 adults all in your house. Unless you house is huge!!!

[onceinabluemoon]

If you are that far ahead with the planning I would look to ending the arrangement as soon as possible. What notice do you have to give each other? I would give the min and as it is my home I would speak to the parents and keep the ones you want to and can and offer to help find childcare for the others mentioning that the others are starting some kind of nursery in August and you will keep them in touch with what they are doing..

It could take months for Ofsted to register their homes and they may not bother and use you until August anyway, its not really that far away.

I wouldn't be re-decorating and putting in new resourses until I was working on my own.

When you know the others are leaving book a weeks holiday and do the revamp ready for the children coming back. Then it will really feel like a new start and mark the change for the children.

Good luck and look forward to all the profits instead of sharing them with 3 others. Oh and lots of space, it must have been crowded with extra children and 3 adults all in your house. Unless you house is huge!!!

This is exactly what I would have said!

Sounds as if you are being used now. If you're happy being a doormat then let it continue, if you have more pride in yourself then put a stop to it. The longer you leave it the harder it will be and you could end up losing the children you want to keep if you let your friend call all the shots.

Good luck x

WRT the new things and painting the rooms definitely not!

[Blackcat]

get rid and start a fresh:thumbsup:

[blue bear]

Is your tax year April to April, it would beneater to finish it then so you can share out the profits, work out which resources belong to who then get started afresh with your new stuff and decoration. Don't get new things out before the split or you may end up having to split them with your partners when you do part.

Never be kind and do favours in business it will come back to bite you on the bum, face the situation and deal with the confrontation it will make you stronger when dealing with difficult parents in the future.

[Tups]

I would end it now, and take the children you want, look after yourself, no one els will,

[Chimps Childminding]

Does your friend already have premises, I am assuming if she is setting up a nursery she is not doing it from home? I wonder what parents will think - obviously you won't be able to fit all the children in, and if they chose a childminder in the first place what happens if they all want to stay with you :rolleyes:

As for the decorating etc. I would leave it until you have separated and open on your own with a newly decorated playroom and new resources :thumbsup:

I can understand you not wanting to part company on bad terms, so as long as you are happy to wait then thats up to you. but I wouldn't wait just because its convenient to the others :(

Good luck!!!

[kindredspirits]

i guess if you're working in partnership you should have allocated 'key' children between you both?? i'd be inclined to tell the other minder that as of mid-april your house will no longer be available to her - then tell the parents of the children you plan to keep whats going on.

[snufflepuff]

This all seems very unfair on you. They are using your home and resources until they are ready to go, possibly planning on trying to take all the children with them too.
I think April would be a good time to cut ties- much easier to end this tax year, split profits, and start the new tax year on your own. They can use the time to get their new business prepared or they can register their own homes and childmind until then.
This is your home, not just a childcare setting, and you should be calling the shots- I certainly wouldn't have people 'using' my home like they are yours.

[miffy]

I think you're being far too nice about this and think you might end up with no work as a result.

You don't feel comfortable in your own home yet you're prepared to wait until these others have got their premises up and running - are you really so sure that they won't try and take all the work with them?

I'd think seriously about going it alone now

Miffy xx

[adele1985]

i had a good think about it all last night and actually wrote her a letter as i get to emotional when arguing and dont deal with confrontation well. I have told her that I want to split and want my house bak at the end of may, we are going to tell parents at the begining of April and go from there really. We have started splitting the resourses ect so I do feel alot better about it all now. Obversly the end of May is still a while a way yet so see how things progress.

[caz3007]

You have done the right thing. You shouldnt be made to feel awkward in your own home. Glad you have found some middle ground and whilst May seems a long way away, it will fly by I am sure. I would make sure you give the parents as much notice as possible though, it only seems fair to me. Mind you they arent all going to be without childcare as you will be able to keep some on

[bexcee]

I think you have done the right thing and I wish you all the very best with setting up on your own :)

[wendywu]

You have done the right thing and heres to the future :thumbsup:

[PixiePetal]

I think you have done the right thing and wish you all the best in your new circumstances :thumbsup:

stick with the forum and you will be fine :)

[rickysmiths]

It must be a relief to have made a decision. Good Luck.

[Goatgirl]

Wow, good for you : that was really brave :).

Must be such a relief to have got it off your chest...

The end of May's really not that long. Bet you can't wait :D Good luck with going it alone, hope everything works out well for you xxx.

Take care,
Wendy :)

[adele1985]

lol well we had another fall out over when to tell the parents. I told her i wanted to do it asap and she didnt so i said we would tell them in april which she wasent happy about. I just assumed we would be telling the parents all at the same time and we would do it together so we both have the chance to say what we wanted to. She has decided she is going to tell parents on a one to one basis and she wants to tell them on her own. Im really not that botherd all im going to tell parents is we are splitting ways shes opening a nursery and its up to them where they go from may. I dont fell they need to know the ins and outs of everything thats gone on and im not going to ***** about her as its not very professional really. What she is going to say to them on the other hand is a diffrent matter.

[babs]

sounds like she wants it all her own way and was hoping to get them all on her own, i would now be telling parents asap.... as you said not going in to detail but that she is opening a nursery etc...

[Donkey]

I would seriously consider talking to the parents now and disolving the partnership sooner rather than later,

there is the tax year to take into consideration...

why does she want to talk to the parents on their own? it sounds like maybe she is trying to steal all the children for her nursery???

what type of nursery is she opening, is she pitching it as a 'home style nursery'

this one sounds bad!!!

[caz3007]

MMMMMmmmm I wouldnt let her call all the shots. If you have been working together then its both your responsibility to tell the parents and not just her. Sounds very much to me like she will be trying to take them all with her or cherry pick the good payers.

I think you have to stand your ground here and insist that its more professional to talk to them together and let them know the options of what each of you are offering and then they can make their decisions based on that.

I wouldnt let her walk all over you, stand your ground and dont let it become nasty, be the bigger person at trying to keep it all civil

good luck and remember we are all here to support

[adele1985]

shes in the process of registering a small nursery ( based in a house, which she will have half the acess to, the other half is lived in) I think thats why she has such a problem with doing sooner rather than later as the registration hasent gone through yet, which I can understand but on the other hand why should I let her use my home while she gets up and running, We are still partners until may so all profits made here will be split down the middle. She has made it clear that she wants me to have no part in her new business which is fine with me but it just frustrating that until may she has all the rights to know whats going on in my business

[Blackcat]

get rid before the end of march (tax year).

send ALL parents letters/emails explaining the situation asap

[Gizmo]

get rid before the end of march (tax year).

send ALL parents letters/emails explaining the situation asap

I agree with Blackcat, dont let her call the shots in the end its your home hunni xx

[Blackcat]

your been too nice to your partner (i agree , you need to keep it professional) but it sounds like she is going to try an d s**t on you big time and then you will have no income.
Get the parents informed asap , if she is not reg yet you still have a chance of keeping some mindees and even the best ones .

[westbrom44]

Just wanted to wish you luck with your future plans.

[Mouse]

Well done on taking a stand. I have to agree with what someone else said, why not close the partnership at the end of the tax year? It would make it an awful lot easier to start your own business from the beginning of the new tax year in April.

Put it to her as a positive thing - it'll make the tax calculations easier for you both, it'll mean you can both get on with your own businesses and as you can tell your friendship is starting to suffer and you'd rather settle things now rather than see it deteriorate any more ;)

Put yourself first & before you know it you'll be running your own business as you want to :clapping:

[The Juggler]

I'm glad you decided this hon. I think it' s the best decisions.:thumbsup:

[MaryMary]

Is this a partnership? Do you have a partnership agreement?
I wondered when I first started reading about the split of profits, and how that works. Surely, as it is your home, you should have been charging her rent, or something? As it is wear & tear on your home, your costs are more. I suppose this is academic now, as you are splitting.
Make sure you protect yourself, and your family home, especially when splitting resources and the families that stay.
I would have thought that continuity of care (your trump card!) is important here, so you should get first pick of the families you want to keep, if they all want to stay.
I feel for the families, 'cos they thought they were sorted and may find themselves in the middle of a fight now :D

Good luck with it all, and I hope you get it sorted :thumbsup:

[adele1985]

Hi girls thanx for all your support,
When we first started up together last may we both agreed that I would get £100 each month for bills ect, since then my bills seem to be going up (obversly as the heating is on 12 hours a day and also the cooking and lighting to) so in january I spoke to her and we decided to do meter readings to see exactly how much we were spending in a typical business day it worked out it was near enought £30 a week just for gas and elelctric, I put this to her and told her i needed £175 a month rather than £100, she wasent happy with this and it was just getting a bit rediculase she was saying that I use some of that electic as i have my fridge and other appliences on throught the day. This is when I decided that I didnt want to do it with her anymore. But becasuse I dont like confrunatation I just told her that it was getting to much doing it from my house anymore. We started looking at the places and we were origonally going to open the nursey together but when I spoke to my partner about it we both felt it was too much money to pull out a month as we have just started getting back on track with our bills in the last couple of months. She decided to do it on her own and is now going into partnership with someone else and this is how im where I am now

[kindredspirits]

sorry - but to put it bluntly she is p**sing on you from a great height!!!
You house, you call the shots. Tell the parents that as of May she is leaving to start a nursery - you will still be available and if anyone would like to sign new contracts with just you then you have x spaces available and will try to accomodate as many as possible. How dare she suggest its acceptable to want to talk to the parents on her own - it is at the minute a JOINT business, not her business that you are a helper at - don't let her steal all your business hun just because you are too nice to stand up for yourself.
Get the parents told, then get those that want to stay put to sign new contracts to start in May (but get the contracts signed asap.) You don't have to bad mouth her but you do have to put your foot down and not let her call the shots.

[adele1985]

Im going to call a parents meeting and tell all the parents when they are all together, im going to do this in April and have told her what im going to do and its her choice if she wants to be there or not, im not going to bad mouth her as i dont feel its either appropriate or proffesional, Im just going to make them aware of the situation and they can make thier own mids up from there.

I can understand where she is coming from tho as her place isent even registerd yet so she hasent really got anywere to go in may, but on the other hand im not being used as a base until she sorts her place out

Dose anyone know if she is entiteled to anything else ( the agreement we came to is I keep the business name, logo and anything to do with it ie website and bank account) and she keep the car once it has been de stickerd is there anything else im missing, for some reason she is very intrested in the books and bank account.

Also we havent got a contact or anything we just came to a verbal agreement when we first started up

[The Juggler]

Hi girls thanx for all your support,
When we first started up together last may we both agreed that I would get £100 each month for bills ect, since then my bills seem to be going up (obversly as the heating is on 12 hours a day and also the cooking and lighting to) so in january I spoke to her and we decided to do meter readings to see exactly how much we were spending in a typical business day it worked out it was near enought £30 a week just for gas and elelctric, I put this to her and told her i needed £175 a month rather than £100, she wasent happy with this and it was just getting a bit rediculase she was saying that I use some of that electic as i have my fridge and other appliences on throught the day. This is when I decided that I didnt want to do it with her anymore. But becasuse I dont like confrunatation I just told her that it was getting to much doing it from my house anymore. We started looking at the places and we were origonally going to open the nursey together but when I spoke to my partner about it we both felt it was too much money to pull out a month as we have just started getting back on track with our bills in the last couple of months. She decided to do it on her own and is now going into partnership with someone else and this is how im where I am now

so she doesn't want to keep any of the mindees food in the fridge then :rolleyes: hon you are well rid. try to do it before the end of the tax year, I def. agree with this. It'll be neater all round financially.:thumbsup:

[adele1985]

lol no i have a seprate fridge to the kids so the business food didnt get muddled up with mine, when we split im just gonna buy a new fridge and use it for both as it really wont matter if its for the business or not as it will be my business.

[Goatgirl]

Hi Adele,
From what you are saying your 'friend' sounds very suspicious of you and I think its very strange that she wants to speak without you to the parents, Unless you have separate mindees you care for? Does she mean she wants to talk to 'her' parents and you to 'yours'?

Its such a difficult situation: you need to be able to work together until you part company but not be taken for a ride at the same time. In your position I'd be wanting to tell the parents right now and ending the joint arrangement as soon as is fair to the parents, but I'd feel pretty mean if the friend wasn't in a position to at least take her 'share' of mindees with her to her new business. Though I have to say, I think she may get a shock if parents chose you because you are a home setting anyway and she may well end up with none :panic:

Regarding any financial agreements etc I would just make sure you record and sign what you discuss and what you decide for each thing. And be precise with the wording.That way she can't come back and say you've ripped her off at a future point if she doesn't do well in her new business and starts to feel resentful...

I hope you can keep your cool and it all works out well ... :)

[Mouse]

Im going to call a parents meeting and tell all the parents when they are all together, im going to do this in April and have told her what im going to do and its her choice if she wants to be there or not, im not going to bad mouth her as i dont feel its either appropriate or proffesional, Im just going to make them aware of the situation and they can make thier own mids up from there.

I can understand where she is coming from tho as her place isent even registerd yet so she hasent really got anywere to go in may, but on the other hand im not being used as a base until she sorts her place out

Dose anyone know if she is entiteled to anything else ( the agreement we came to is I keep the business name, logo and anything to do with it ie website and bank account) and she keep the car once it has been de stickerd is there anything else im missing, for some reason she is very intrested in the books and bank account.

Also we havent got a contact or anything we just came to a verbal agreement when we first started up

I would hurry up and get some legal advice. If she's asking about books and bank accounts, I bet she's getting advice from somewhere.

Out of interest, where is she registered from as a childminder? Is she registered at her own house or yours? Why doesn't she childmind from her own house for now?

[kindredspirits]

sorry - you get to keep the business name and bank account and she gets to keep the CAR???? Did you buy the car jointly as a business expense and how new was it?? I only ask as it sounds like the most expensive asset to your business.
I think you need to work out everything that was bought jointly by the business, literally every last resource - what its worth and who gets what - make sure she's not diddling you as it all sounds very iffy to me.

Anyone can open a business bank account hun so if she wants it let her have it. Tbh you'd be better off with just your own current account as business banking is a lot of hassle.

Who designed the logo and does it really matter whether you have it or not?

I mean lets face it - it sounds like she's leaving you the stuff she doesn't want/need. There is no point to her having your business name if its a childminding based name if she's opening a nursery, ditto to the logo.

Make sure you get your fair share of everything by the sounds of it she'll bleed you dry otherwise.

[adele1985]

My partner owns his own garage and he got us the car, plus i cant drive yet so the car would be no use to me, my partner has already got my a newer version on the same car in automatic anway so i can learn in it. To be honest I really dont care as im based from my house so the only bills i have to pay are the ones i pay anyway, ive worked it out and i only really need 1 full time child or the equivelent to pay my bills anything else would just be a bonus. I just cant wait to start up on my own so just looking forward really. Ive already decided im telling the parents in april she can tell the parents what she likes at the end of the day its up to the parents where they want to take thier child no one else, hopefully at least a coupler will be happy to stay with me

[Blackcat]

DO NOT GIVE HER THE BOOKS !
cLOSE THE BANK ACCOUNT!

gET HER OUT OF YOUR HOUSE!

why does she want the business name???/ is she planning on using it as xxxx has moved to a new place?
be careful and tel the parents now so you can have contracts in place BEFORE the new tax year

[adele1985]

i really dont understand what would she gain if she had the bank account and books???? as far as I was concerned the books and account are in the business name we go halfs on everything so I dont get what the big deal is. Am i missing something??? does she know something I dont about the accout as it is a business joint account in both of our names.

[Ripeberry]

This is all so complicated. Why on earth did she not register her own home in the first place? You've been very accomodating letting her use your house, but now she is trying to take all the 'good' bits off of you :mad:
I'd be telling her to hop it and get registered like the rest of us.

[funemnx]

Have you considered hiring 1 or 2 new assistants and keeping all the children? At least for the time being?

[adele1985]

i have started the process to employ a new assistant but i honestly hope that all the children dont want to stay with me as at the minuet my house feels like a nursery and i really dont want it to be like that anymore ideally id like 3 or 4 full timers or the equivelent

[kindredspirits]

if the account is in both of your names i suggest you close it and open a new one with just you. i sort of agree with you, i don't see what the big deal is about the books and the bank account with regards to it all being rather worthless now - you need to keep business records for about 5 years for IR purposes so as the business was registered at your address it would make sense to keep them in your loft in case any correspondance ever comes to you regarding it, iywkim.

but if the accounts/books/business name are technically not worth any value then she should be buying your share of the car, or you keep the equivilent value of toys/equipment. It sounds like she's tried to convince you that you're getting something out of the deal by 'letting' you keep the business name and logo but in reality she gets what she wants which is a running car plus half of everything else.

[tulip0803]

She may want the accounts and bank account as ways of 'proving' that she is running a successful business. Banks want the accounts for loans and the length of time that you have held a bank account is also factored in. It looks to me like she wants them to gain credit for the business. Be careful if she is gaining credit against your business name and accounts.

If the accounts are for the business name that you are keping and at your address you need to keep hold of them for your own tax reasons. The tax man will come knocking on the registered business address.

[Mouse]

She may want the accounts and bank account as ways of 'proving' that she is running a successful business. Banks want the accounts for loans and the length of time that you have held a bank account is also factored in. It looks to me like she wants them to gain credit for the business. Be careful if she is gaining credit against your business name and accounts.

If the accounts are for the business name that you are keping and at your address you need to keep hold of them for your own tax reasons. The tax man will come knocking on the registered business address.

That's a good point. She may need to prove income for a loan, for renting somewhere etc, so will want the books. The problem is she'd be proving the income on a business that isn't going to exist anymore.

Is she actually registered as a childminder from her house or your house?

[adele1985]

shes always been registerd from my house. Surely she woudent be able to get a lloan againnst the business without me knowing about it as the business is registerd at my address and in both of our names. is that right?

Also not sure if anyone will be able to advise me, just woundering if she has any rights to the business, for example does she have the right to come into my home without my permission that sounds like a daft question but i did wounder as i think she thinks she has as my home is also the business which she is a partner in ?????

[kindredspirits]

no she has absolutely no right to enter your home without your permission. your home is not a business asset - it was not paid for in any part by the business and if she has keys to your house i would be asking for them back immediately.

[snufflepuff]

Your home is just that, your home. She has no right to come in to your home without your permission, it doesn't matter if you are running/ used to run a business together from the address.
You need to make sure you are getting your fair share out of this. If she keeps the car she either pays you (you as a business) half the value back or you get more resources to half the value of the car. I'd also close the joint account and open another in your own name. To be honest i'd think about coming up with a new business name/ logo- start afresh on your own, with no associations to this 'friend' of yours or the old business.

[Mouse]

If Ofsted registered at your house, why not suggest she gets registered at her own home until she gets business premises? Surely it wouldn't be much differnt to someone moving home & having to change their address.

Just a thought. As there are sometimes 4 of you working there (I think you said you 2 & 2 assistants) are you registered as childminders or as providing childcare on domestic premises? Will it make any difference when you change over to being by yourself?

[adele1985]

If Ofsted registered at your house, why not suggest she gets registered at her own home until she gets business premises? Surely it wouldn't be much differnt to someone moving home & having to change their address.

Just a thought. As there are sometimes 4 of you working there (I think you said you 2 & 2 assistants) are you registered as childminders or as providing childcare on domestic premises? Will it make any difference when you change over to being by yourself?

We do have 2 assistants but they are both part time there is only ever 3 of us working at the same time. We are both registerd as childminders in our own rights but from my home. To be honest i think im just going to stick it out untill May its only a few more months and to be honest I really coudent care a less if she has the car most of the rosurses are mine anyway and since we came to the disision to split ive been buying rosorses every week so my spare bedroom looks like a toy shop at the mo. I just want a new start all I really need to do is re decorate the room (which im going to do in the easter holidays) and put the new resourses in it. Im also thinking of a new logo and name for a total fresh start (what does everyone think of Little Ladybirds Childminding Service)

[Blackcat]

The name is fab xxxxxx
just be aware of where your 'friend ' is towards the end of the friendship, she sounds like she is trying to diddle you in more ways than one, if she needs the records photocopy them and give her the copy, if you give her the originals , you may have serious problems if the tax man comes knocking:thumbsup:

[adele1985]

wont I need to keep all the books and finansial stuff here when we do go our own ways as the business in registerd at my address, or will she have equal rights to all the paperwork and books ????

[Blackcat]

wont I need to keep all the books and finansial stuff here when we do go our own ways as the business in registerd at my address, or will she have equal rights to all the paperwork and books ????

yes you need to keep them all for 5 yrs at your address as it is the reg premises for the business , if she wants them for what ever reason give her photocopies , if you give her the originals your not guaranteed to get them back off her

[adele1985]

ok girls thanks for all your support and advice, im now getting very anxciose about telling the parents and what will she be saying to the parents, I cant do anything about it if she wants to tell them sepratly, all i can do is tell them on my own, my partner said he will be there to support me but I have no idea how im going to start to tell them. The problem I have is in my friends mind i made the dission I didnt want to do it in my home anymore and left her in the ****. In my eyes yes I did say I didnt want to do it in my home anymore but once we had been to view the first property which was basically 2 small units with no carpet or kitchen ect I said to her I didnt think it was a good idea and we should just carry on doing it in my home untill we found somewere more appropriate, her responce was well ive made my mind up and im going for it its up to you what you do, after that the landlord or the units we viewed said he had another offer for us which was the other property (where she is opening her nursery)
We went to view this together and after talking it over with my partner we decided it wasent really in our best intrest to go ahead with it as it needs alot doing to it still, its not a property in its own right its half of the landlords home ( he used to run a b and b from it) and 800 a month is alot of money to pull out.
This is when I decided I didnt want to do it in partnership anymore as I feel that she had already made her mind up she was going to go ahead with her plans no matter what I decided.
What would you say to parents in my shoes, obversly I dont want to be unprofessional and start slaging her off to me the parents dont need to no the ins and outs of it all but I have no idea what she is going to be saying to them, I would hinestly be happyer telling them sepratly as I feel if we do it together we are just going to start to disagree and the parents dont want to see that xx

[caz3007]

Its a shame that you cant both sit down and say to the parents that you are parting and that you are both offering childcare but each in a different format. You will be offering a more standard childminding service and your partner will be offering a more nursery style service. Then ask them to approach you individually to chat about their expectations and the terms you are each prepared to offer them and take it from there.

Its a shame that its got to the stage that you cant part company amicably and work together to hopefully split your current children and families in a way that everyone is happy with.

Could you not ask your partner to sit down and talk about this all amicably and the fact that you feel its up to the parents to make an informed choice on who to go with. The parents may also decide to make a totally new start.

It all seems to have got soooo messy

[Goatgirl]

Hi :),
My concern about the one to ones was that your friend would do exactly this: 'blame' you for the disruption and try to 'poach' the mindees for her nursery. If she's not out to poach them though I shouldn't worry what she's going to say. And to be honest, the more professional you stay the more impressed they'll be and likely to want their children to stay with you.

I don't think telling the parents all the ins and outs of the arrangement is wise and personally I think that if I was a parent with my child at your setting I would be more impressed by a childminder being honest enough to tell me about the new arrangements early without trying to get me involved in a slanging match.

It sounds like your friend feels 'betrayed' by you not wanting to persue the nursery idea. But you have to do what is right for your family and a nursery wasn't for you. There's nothing wrong with that. She's just being immature.
Can't you point out to her that you initially offered to continue at your own premises, so she made the final decision to split? The fact you now want to work on your own is really as a result of her attitude and behaviour since. The bottom line is you want different things and it would be nice to work together till the end of the partnership on good terms, even if the friendship is damaged beyond repair.

Anyway, back to teling the parents. I'd tell them when you want to; stay professional and give them the bare facts. You want to stay home based. Your friend wants to move on.
Do you have separate parents? It seems silly to each have a separate chat with each family? I'd be elbowing myself to the front of that queue! :D

If you have your own parents then in your position I think I would tell them sooner rather than later. They'll appreciate the heads up and your professional approach too.

Just had another thought; Maybe you and your friend can draught a letter together which you both agree on? then any arguing can be out of sight of the parents and the letter will be their first impression, so there'll be less room for the friend to try and paint you in a negative light afterwards. She'll just look petty.

Bws,
Wendy

[caz3007]

Just had another thought; Maybe you and your friend can draught a letter together which you both agree on? then any arguing can be out of sight of the parents and the letter will be their first impression, so there'll be less room for the friend to try and paint you in a negative light afterwards. She'll just look petty.

Bws,
Wendy

I agree this is a good idea. Then it gives the parents the chance to think through the different options before approaching you to discuss things further. I think this is the route I would attempt to try if I was in the same predicament. It would then look much more professional

[mama2three]

This is also what I was going to suggest. A letter now that you can both agree on , and inviting parents to speak to each of you regarding the services , terms impact on them as a family etc. Maybe take on a temporary assistant to help families til the nursery is up and running - might be the olive branch your 'friend' needs to act more professionally , will get you some income and keep the goodwill of the parents.
Good luck x

[The Juggler]

I agree about the letter in fact I would sit said friend down and ask her what it is she wants out of the split re: families/children she would like to approach. Then see where you can compromise. Explain to her that you did not want the arrangement to end just that you were not keen on the premises she has chosen. That she went ahead without you shows this was not ever going to be a partnership.

Tell her you are glad that she is following her dream and wish her every success but that right now you both need to come across professionally to the parents (i.e. put forward a neutral and non-biased reason for the split) or it will damage both her reputation and yours.

Suggest the letter flora mentioned and I think it is brilliant idea to get you writing it together so you decide on how you construct the argument and reasons. Then really try to persuade her to meet with the parents together, talk them through it and then you can give them the letter to confirm the conversation.

Hope it goes well hon x

[adele1985]

okay so ive thought alot about what all of you have said about the business name and logo for the car......and im now thinking i did get the bad end of the deal, ive put it to my friend that she can keep the car and ill keep the storage or we can split the storage and sell the car and we split the profit. just waiting for her to get bak to me now

[adele1985]

just thought id keep everyone informed. We both had a discussion today about closing in may and i really can see her point of view as shes not got registerd or anything so would basically be out of the job in May. We have talked and ive told her i really dont want to fall out and suggested that from may she would be welcome to still work here and just come out with a weekly wage then it will work best for us both as if i needed to be off for any reason she could take ober and she woudent have to work all the hours as she does now so would be able to concentrate on her business more. What does everyone think

[caz3007]

Adele, if you are compromising then so must she. I would draw up a written agreement right now about how you are going to tell parents, both of you together and not her on her own.

[snufflepuff]

I think you are being too nice!
Sounds to me like she wants a steady income while she sets up her own business, then she is going to go off in to the sunset taking your car, accounts, resources and mindees with her, without a second thought for you!
Maybe i'm being pesimistic but I think you need to look out for yourself, nobody else will!

[rickysmiths]

just thought id keep everyone informed. We both had a discussion today about closing in may and i really can see her point of view as shes not got registerd or anything so would basically be out of the job in May. We have talked and ive told her i really dont want to fall out and suggested that from may she would be welcome to still work here and just come out with a weekly wage then it will work best for us both as if i needed to be off for any reason she could take ober and she woudent have to work all the hours as she does now so would be able to concentrate on her business more. What does everyone think

Hi Adele1985

I wouldn't do this because you would then have to employ her and that is the last thing you want to add to all this. It does seem she is using you to her advantage and you are being too nice.

Frankly it is tough that she hasn't got her act together and behaved a little better toward you.

I would write a letter to all the parents at once, how many do you have between you? I would explain the situation very briefly giving notice from the end of April. if you do it no you still have time to give 4 weeks notice and still have some time off over Easter. I would have the week beginning 2May off, its a 4 day week and say you are opening your Childminding business on Monday 9th May. Invite parents to come and discuss future arrangements on an individual basis and tell them how many vacancies you will have and thet you will ahve to offer places on a first come first served basis. I would also offer to help the other parents find alternative care if needed. I would then sign contracts and take 4 weeks fees deposits as soon as possible.

I think you have gone beyound the point where you carry on until the Nursery is open and from the sounds of it your friend would have tried to take all the children anyway without a thought for your income so why should you worry about hers now?

It sounds as if you need to do a spreadsheet listing every single resourse or asset you bought from the business account for your work including the car and its value. It is completely irrelevant that you don't use it, as others have said it is probably the single most valuble assest. You then split the assest in half. You may have to sell the car and split the cash for it to be fair. You will need to both sign that you agree to the split and how it was made again listing what each of you have had and its value. That way there can be no comeback in the future. When that has been done then split the balance in the Bank Account and close it. You should not use it for your childminding and nor should she for her Nursery.

I would strongly advise you do all this and seek the advise of an accountant and get a final set of accounts done for each of you up to the end of April. Then there can be no arguement and at least you have proper accounts done and she will have a set of approved accounts should she need them for the new business. As you were working in your house you keep originals including her final accounts so if the tax man asks questiond you have all the info.

You have to be strong in this, it is your house, you dictate the rules. Oh and the day the business finishes change the locks on your house and include this as a business cost for the end of the business.

Good luck!

[Mouse]

How far is she through the registration process? There's a lot more to opening a nursery than getting a registration certificate. What if she's not ready by May? Unless she's a long way through the process now I'd have thought she'd struggle to be up & running by then. Why doesn't she get registered at her own house for now? It shouldn't be much different to a childminder moving house.

[adele1985]

Shes just waiting for her registration to come through, ive told her from the 2nd of may its not going to be little starts childminding its going to be little ladybirds childminding, and she wont have anything to do with the day to day running of it as it will be my business. what do you girls think about employing her or telling her to go self employed and just take a weekly wage ( we wont be going 50 50 from may she will be getting paid an hourly rate) would you employ her or tell her to stay self employed. not sure how holidats ect would work

[kindredspirits]

i'd do neither tbh. you don't usually get the option to walk out of one job and into another. Just say you've looked into it and you don't want to have all the legalities of employing her and you don't think your insurance will cover her to be self-employed on your premesis so you're going to just have to cut ties.

[The Juggler]

i too wouldn't employ her. too many implications of that. But if you don't already employ her then she must be registered already - no???

I think I've misunderstood. Is she NOT yet a registered minder. I thought she was and thought it would be fairly straightforward for her to register now in her own property. If you mind and move to a new place then it's not normally that difficult to get the new property registered as long as it's not in a major state of disrepair?

If she's waiting on registration then I can see how you would feel as to terminate the partnership now would put her out of work. I wouldn't be easy with that either. But as you say you can lay down how things will work and good for you for doing so already.:thumbsup:

Give her a month's notice hon, that's all she would get in a normal job.

[adele1985]

i too wouldn't employ her. too many implications of that. But if you don't already employ her then she must be registered already - no???

I think I've misunderstood. Is she NOT yet a registered minder. I thought she was and thought it would be fairly straightforward for her to register now in her own property. If you mind and move to a new place then it's not normally that difficult to get the new property registered as long as it's not in a major state of disrepair?

If she's waiting on registration then I can see how you would feel as to terminate the partnership now would put her out of work. I wouldn't be easy with that either. But as you say you can lay down how things will work and good for you for doing so already.:thumbsup:

Give her a month's notice hon, that's all she would get in a normal job.

Hi hun she is a registerd childminder from my home, shes waiting for the registration of the new place ( which is going to be a nursery) to come through. We had a chat about it all today and I think she is going to get her own house registerd and mind from their untill the nursery is ready to go.

[Rubybubbles]

nothing to say just ekkkkkkk:eek:


hope everything works out how you want it to! On days I feel like I haven't seen an adult this will remind me why it's good to work for myself only lol!

sorry, I know that doesn't help;)

[mufftie]

just read through this , wow :eeeek:

what alot to be going on in your home , if youve got enough children to be spending that the kind of money on your business then no wonder you dont feel its your home any more , your partner must be very understanding to say the least !

well done on getting so many children in so quickly after registering , im sure you will sustain yourself very well once on your own and i wish you all the luck for the future and your 'friend' with her nursery as it must be hard for her aswel and i can kind of see her point about being jobless whlist waiting to be registered . good luck

[The Juggler]

Hi hun she is a registerd childminder from my home, shes waiting for the registration of the new place ( which is going to be a nursery) to come through. We had a chat about it all today and I think she is going to get her own house registerd and mind from their untill the nursery is ready to go.

right ok then. what she is saying is what I was going to suggest that you insist she does. she doesn't need to wait for the new premises to be open and registered. she can just register her own home now - , it should NOT be more than a formality and then you can both move on.

[buildingblocks]

Firstly I agree with what everyone else has said


lol well we had another fall out over when to tell the parents. I told her i wanted to do it asap and she didnt so i said we would tell them in april which she wasent happy about.

Tough it should be about what you both want not her

I just assumed we would be telling the parents all at the same time and we would do it together so we both have the chance to say what we wanted to. She has decided she is going to tell parents on a one to one basis and she wants to tell them on her own.

It is not just her decision to make if you are in partnership surely you have a say I would say that you need to send out a letter to the parents from both of you.

Im really not that botherd all im going to tell parents is we are splitting ways shes opening a nursery and its up to them where they go from may.

It sounds liek you are being far more professional than she is and I am afrid personally to me it sounds like she will be trying to take hte children from behind your back otherwise why does she need to speak to them one to one without you being there - I originally read this as you were both doing this one t one with parents

I dont fell they need to know the ins and outs of everything thats gone on and im not going to ***** about her as its not very professional really. What she is going to say to them on the other hand is a diffrent matter.

You need to stand up for yourself (easier said than done I know) and state your views and as I said if you are a partnership you should be ending the business together and if she was being honest there wouldn't be a problem

[Daisy1956]

Can't offer any advice but hope it all works out in the end.

[adele1985]

Just thought id give everyone an update, feels like I havent been on here for ages. Only 4 weeks to go then ill be doing it on my own :D very excited. We told parents this week and most of them are not staying as the other place is more convenient. One child is staying with me and 2 are still undecided. I changed all the room around last weekend after a trip to ikea all i need to do now is paint it which ill be doing over easter and print all my new policies and documents out then im al ready to go :D

[caz3007]

Well done on getting it sorted and hope you are advertising for new mindies now

[flowerpots]

awww hun, ive just read through all of this and im so pleased you have got it sorted, i hope you fill all your spaces very soon. :)

xxxxxxxxxxx

[The Juggler]

glad its sorted hon and have fun finding new mindees and new families x

[adele1985]

aww thanks for all of your support girls, im just so excited about starting on my own i feel relived now i know i have at least 1 child as that will cover most of my bills, gonna start advertising some time this month.... lol as long as i have new children for september thats all im botherd about :)

[tulip0803]

I am glad things are working out for you. Hope the advertising works quickly:)

[Hebs]

dont be suprised if some of the parents come back :thumbsup:

[Goatgirl]

aww thanks for all of your support girls, im just so excited about starting on my own i feel relived now i know i have at least 1 child as that will cover most of my bills, gonna start advertising some time this month.... lol as long as i have new children for september thats all im botherd about :)

That's great news: glad you managed to sort things out and are able to move on so much sooner than you first thought :thumbsup:

take care,
Wendy :)

[Chimps Childminding]

Glad you have managed to sort things out, and good luck with YOUR new business :clapping: :clapping:

[adele1985]

feeling a bit doen today not really sure why. I dont know if im being parnoid but im getting the feeling that my friend is saying things behond my back to parents. When we told the parents we did tell them together didnt give them all the ins and outs of why its happening just told them the basics. She then invites them to have a look arounf her new place and im just worried shes saying things to them ti invluence thier decision behind my back.

My view is yes we have had fallings out but i dont think the parents need to know about them but i have no idea what shes saying when im not there. I have only lived in this area for 4 years so donr really no many people, shes lived here all of her life and knows nearly everyone im just a bit paranoid sshes saying things to everyone she knows

[christine e]

The thing is you don't know that she is saying anything about you. You just go about smiling sweetly, hold your head up high and maintain your professionalism! Everything will sort itself out in time and when it does you will know that you maintained your dignity and professionalism.

Cx

[onceinabluemoon]

There's not a lot you can do I'm afraid. Even if you are right in your suspicions, which you may not be, people will always believe what they want to believe.

You chose not to dissolve the partnership early so you had the advantage. An admirable personal quality, but the consequence is one that may just have had disastrous effects on your business. Hopefully it hasn't as you seem like a really nice person.

Now all you can do is sit back and wait until the dust settles and hope you come out of it ok. Hopefully you will have also learnt that sometimes you need to put yourself first and not be Mrs nice lady about everything.

Big hugs xx

[Boris]

I would bring things to an end asap too.

I have been working in partnership with my friend at her house for 6 months. She recently told me that she's selling her house and doesn't know if she's going to carry on or not. It's been very awkward and I'm desperate to be out of there! I have managed to get a playroom built, new toys bought, all paperwork done and my house registered all in 4 weeks! I start on my own in 2 more weeks. I'm counting down the days till I'm on my own and wish I'd done it from the start. She is staying put till the house sells but I suspect she will stop before then as I have always done all accounts and paperwork!!!

Good luck and have fun setting up YOUR playroom just how YOU like it xx

[adele1985]

aww well done you, how on earth did you build a playroom lol. Im in the same boat really as ive done the majority of all the paper work and stuff I just cant wait to start on my own even if I might only have 1 child lol. good luck with your businessx What are your parents doing are any of them coming with you or do you have to start from scratch xx

[buildingblocks]

The thing is even if she is saying things behind your back so long as you remain professional you can't do anything about what she says and does and if parents believe her when you are being professional do you really want that kind of parent.

[Boris]

It's a conservatory so went up really quick! We had 6 children between us so are splitting them. I'm happy with the ones I've got and parents seem ok with it, even though she told them it was my decision to leave as it would be easier for me!!! GGGRRRRR! I'm biting my tongue and counting down the days xx

[adele1985]

lol i know exactly how you feel hun, at least you have 3 kids ive got 1 at the min and the others have choose to go with her as its more convenient to get to her new place for most of our parents x