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Katiekoo
24-02-2011, 04:33 PM
My little girl - just over two and a half, has started to really act up! She is very bright and has lots of words, and she's always been very good, responsive and respectful. Now though she just keeps ignoring me when I ask her to do anything or worse says 'NO!', and being generally cheeky and pushing the boundries. Every time I say 'shall we have some time on the thinking spot?' she freaks out and throws herself on the ground shouting 'no no no' and wriggles! :rolleyes:

I think she's always been so good I wasn't prepared for this. :blush:

She knows what she's doing isn't ok, and that's what makes me really grumpy.

Do I persevere with the thinking spot? Is it time for something new? I need to nip this in the bud now as I will soon be taking on additional mindee, and won't be able to give her this level of attention.

Pipsqueak
24-02-2011, 05:35 PM
I think you need to
a) pick your battles - take a look are you pouncing on everything she says/does, what can you afford to ignore
do some diversion techniques
completely change tack

b) if you are going to put her in time out (thinking spot) - tell her not ask her - ignore the paddy and put her there - take control of the situation - you are the adult you are bigger and stronger and these are YOUR rules

Katiekoo
24-02-2011, 05:49 PM
Thank you, I've been waiting ofr the terrible two's to hit, really thought I might get away with it! ;)
Thanks for tips, I need all the help I can get - she is my first child, can you tell :blush:

Chatterbox Childcare
24-02-2011, 07:02 PM
I would ditch the thinking spot and if she has a trantrum let her get on with it exactly where she is

Don't be confrontational amd walk away. When she realises no one is taking any notice she will come and find you

Sarahbelle
24-02-2011, 07:16 PM
I agree with Pipsqueak, choose your battles, introduce the time out and put her on it and keep her on it for the required time.

I also agree with Debbie. If you can ignore the tantrum, then do it. Step over her and make a cup of tea.

I have a LO who is 22 months. She is extremely bright. Language skills beyond her age and understands exactly what you are telling her. If she decides to blow, I let her get on with it, unless it is unacceptable behavious and then she gets the time out. Her mum agrees with me and does exactly the same at home. I am noticing a change after only two weeks. I have now introduce a key word of "Listen" when she is beginning to go into tantrum mode and find that she beginning to respond to that and hear what I am saying rather than go into the full "throw myself on the floor and kick and scream mode". Once I have caught her attention, I can distract her.

Good luck.

Katiekoo
25-02-2011, 01:33 PM
I like "Listen", I think it would work with her, she does respond to " take a deep breathe", and starts to calm down.
It might be that she's more tired at the moment, I've started waking her from her afternoon nap after an hour and a half, as she wasn't sleeping at bedtime when I let her sleep as much as she wanted (2 and a 1/2 hours!). I know I'm cranky when I'm woken up!
I have a plan now thanks to you all - thank you. :D

Cazz
25-02-2011, 11:31 PM
I would ditch the thinking spot and if she has a trantrum let her get on with it exactly where she is

Don't be confrontational amd walk away. When she realises no one is taking any notice she will come and find you

I agree with Debbie.

I have 2 new mindees (brothers) who have been with me 2 weeks now. The oldest one who will be 3 in April is the king of tantrums! The slightest thing that doesn't go his way will send him into one. Even mentioning that I need to change his nappy often causes a tantrum!

Within half a day it became apparent that he obviously gets attention and what he wants when he throws one of these tantrums. I refuse to give attention for them and if he has one, providing he is safe I leave him where he is and carry on as normal with the other children. It normally only takes a few minutes for him to stop because he wants to know what's going on - I then ask him if he's now ready to do whatever we were going to do or if he's ready to apologise to another child etc and he always is!

I don't think he could believe that I wouldn't give in to him at first but having minded him for two weeks there is already a reduction in the number of tantrums because he realises it doesn't get him anywhere.

I have discussed this with the parents and told them how I am handling his tantrums and they agree that it's the best way - somehow I don't think they've been putting this method into practice at home though :rolleyes: Hopefully they will now so we are both singing from the same sheet :D

Good luck and remember it's only a phase - it's often frustration because they're trying to be more independant.

Penny1959
26-02-2011, 03:45 AM
Agree with the others the thinking spot (time out) does not work with very young children - for some it becomes just another way of getting attention.

Tantrums are best ignored whenever possible. Remain calm, get on with what ever you have to do. I find one of the quickest ways to stop a tantrum is to suddenly change direction and do something unexpected (even something silly like blow a loud raspberry) or say to other mindees shall we ...

Good luck - remember your child is still the lovely little girl she has always been - she just needs a little help right now to work out what is acceptable and what is not.

Penny :)

Katiekoo
17-03-2011, 08:34 PM
Hi,
Update;
Thanks to you all for the advice - dd has shown great signs of improvement following my perseverence. I kept on with the thinking/time out spot, but being much firmer, and as some of you said picked my battles - I forget sometimes how little she is because she speaks so well and I do expect a lot from her!
So far quite a big improvement, think I might have managed to nip it in the bud. I have developed a deep what I call my 'grown up' voice when I really mean business - think I scare the other Mums at toddler group! Don't want to seem like a bossy meanie :o