Ungrateful spoiled children

[BlondeMoment]

Just need a rant!

It's half term and I've been bending over backwards to give the kids a good time. Yesterday we went to our local Castle, today we went to the soft play area - both requests of my two schoolies (5 and 8)
Today when my 5 yr old mindee was picked up he was in a strop as I'd not got him some toast he'd asked for. (He'd said he was hungry after dinner and I had told him if he was still hungry after a play to ask again. He then got involved in playing on the computer and forgot all about it)

So in his bad mood he proceeds firstly to speak really rudely to me saying "You didn't do what I said!" Then secondly when his dad asked him if he'd had a good day, reply "no I haven't! it's been horrible." Then to add insult to injury his dad, knowing we've been out today sympathetically says "Oh I'm so sorry to hear that!"

WHAT!!!!!!

That boy has had a whale of a time today at the soft play centre and we met up with loads of other children and even invited them all back for lunch.

I want to have words with him in the morning about how rude he was and how ungrateful his behaviour was when he has been the one wanting to do all of these things.
To be honest I would LOVE to cancel our trip to the museum we have planned tomorrow to teach him a lesson but it's not fair on the others.

Any advice on what I should say to him. There are so many things I wish I'd said at the time he was spouting off but all my parents had turned up at once and another child was stropping about putting his coat on as usual.

[jumpinjen]

I have experienced this kind of ungrateful behaviour before from schoolies, I would be frank (out of earshot of the other children) and tell him that his behaviour was out of line merely because you didn't instantly make him toast. tell him he was rude and you won't have him speaking to you like that again. Say that you are not there to 'do what he says' and that if it wasn't for the other children you would cancel the trip today. Say to him that if trips out are that terrible he can stay right by your side all day and see if he enjoys that more? If he speaks to you like that again in front of his dad, pull him up on it immediatly and say what a great time he had and don't be afraid to. I can understand your anger..... one of the reasons I don't have schoolies at present!

jen x

[BlondeMoment]

I have experienced this kind of ungrateful behaviour before from schoolies, I would be frank (out of earshot of the other children) and tell him that his behaviour was out of line merely because you didn't instantly make him toast. tell him he was rude and you won't have him speaking to you like that again. Say that you are not there to 'do what he says' and that if it wasn't for the other children you would cancel the trip today. Say to him that if trips out are that terrible he can stay right by your side all day and see if he enjoys that more? If he speaks to you like that again in front of his dad, pull him up on it immediatly and say what a great time he had and don't be afraid to. I can understand your anger..... one of the reasons I don't have schoolies at present!

jen x

Thanks Jen. I know it's just words of a stroppy child but it's really not very nice when you try so hard is it

[Dragonfly]

Its not nice and Im afraid there is alot of young children that speak like that to parents and other adults its called no respect:angry:
It also puts me off having after school children,I would never of expected my children (grown up) to speak to someone like that, and dont like children to speak to me like that, exspecially when you go out your way for them to have a good time.

[jumpinjen]

No it is hurtful, in the Christmas holidays I had bought mini trees and decorations for the children to hang on them and we made some more. One LO (no longer with me for continuing reasons of awful behaviour) said things like 'why didn't you buy lights to go on them?' and 'is that all you've got?' and 'this tinsel is stupid, it won't go on' and 'we do better stuff than this at home'. I had to grit my teeth as i offered her a pencil and plain paper and suggested she draw if she didn't like the activities on offer. She decided to continue with it. I know they don't do activities like that at home cos mum told me that she was so glad that i did them as she never had time to do more than switch the telly on for her children. It was hard to take though after I'd put in the effort and the cost! try to take pleasure from the other children's enjoyment!

Hugs, Jen x

[jumpinjen]

Its not nice and Im afraid there is alot of young children that speak like that to parents and other adults its called no respect:angry:
It also puts me off having after school children,I would never of expected my children (grown up) to speak to someone like that, and dont like children to speak to me like that, exspecially when you go out your way for them to have a good time.

I have decided to not have schoolies any more until my own children are older than the schoolies due to unpleasant behaviour. Perhaps it has just been me that has been unlucky to have them but they negatively impact on my own children, causing them anxiety and upset etc, and I can't risk it again so once my own are old enough to set the example of good behaviour then I will consider it again.

jen x

[BlondeMoment]

Its not nice and Im afraid there is alot of young children that speak like that to parents and other adults its called no respect:angry:
It also puts me off having after school children,I would never of expected my children (grown up) to speak to someone like that, and dont like children to speak to me like that, exspecially when you go out your way for them to have a good time.

I can't believe the child's father just stoo d back and let him speak to me like that either. I really am angry the more I think about it :angry:

[BlondeMoment]

I'm thinking what I might do is still do an outing but not the original plan as it was one of his choosing. Think I'll throw it open to the others to decide on something and tell him the reason we're not doing his choice is because he was rude to me yesterday about having a horrible time.

The thing is, when the parents are as ungrateful as the children are what can you do?

[Dragonfly]

Which is where the fault lies isnt it? a child needs guidance and if they are not taught from the start this is what happens.The parent should of told the child not to speak like and apologise, but if the child had been taught from the start they would of had some manners?
Also Jumpimjen I have children that come and they always have bigger and better grit them teeth girl:laughing:

[berkschick]

I took on 2 children aged 8 and 10 from a childminder who was giving up. They had been with her all their lives and obviously it was a big change for them. The 8 year old would be fine here but then go home and tell tales to his Mum to the point where one saturday she turned up to talk to me about things! I tried my very hardest to make him welcome, bought toys he enjoyed, etc. But one night when his Mum picked him up, he went running to the door and said "Mummy, tonight has been 8 out of 10" And she replied "Oh thats great darling, thats better than last nights 2 out of 10!!" I was livid!

2 weeks after this, the old childminder decided she would return to childminding ( I had basically had the kids for the 6 weeks summer hols where we went out every single day while she had a lovely long holiday!) and the Mum went back to her without giving me any notice, she had paid me the notice but I didnt get the chance to say goodbye or anything. Then she decided on the morning they were due back that she was not returning to minding after all! As I had been paid I felt I had to have the children for that month. It wasnt the kids fault after all. But Mum asked me to take them back and I said I would but only after a frank discussion with her! I was very honest, told her I felt second best to the other minder and that her Son was telling lies! This was back in September, they are still with me now and Mum is very supportive of me and I finally feel that I can now be myself, correct him if I need too without him telling tales etc.

I would speak to the child tomorrow and if it continues I would also speak to the parents. I feel for you, I know how you feel!

[jumpinjen]

Also Jumpimjen I have children that come and they always have bigger and better grit them teeth girl:laughing:

:laughing: :laughing: gritting them...... can you hear the grinding noise?:laughing: :laughing:

[Louise0208]

the amount of times i have thought to myself when parents are here 'if my kid ever spoke to me like that id.....' :angry:

[Ripeberry]

I can't believe the child's father just stoo d back and let him speak to me like that either. I really am angry the more I think about it :angry:

That's why the kid is like that :mad: The parents don't challenge his bad behaviour.

[Stella Mc]

Ahh I feel for you, I really do. Its so disheartening isn't it? I really think its the age, I've had this a couple of times with my school kids this week during half term, I've actually been close to tears with disapointment after trying to do nice things for them just to have it thrown back in my face :( I'm soon to go on maternity leave and have pretty much decided that although it means I could only take on one other child, I think I will just stick with my under 5s when I begin work again.
Good luck for the rest of the week hun,
Stella x

[BlondeMoment]

Thanks so much for support guys. I'm going to have a word with him tomorrow and tell him that when he is rude like that it makes me not want to take him out to do nice things and point out that I don't actually have to. I do it because I am nice and if he wants to continue he needs to be nice too.

He is usually quite good to be honest but his parents, particularly his father, do allow him to speak to them however he likes. His brother too but he's alot younger so he's not quite entered brat mode yet

[rickysmiths]

It is dissappointing isn't it. I find the production of a few choice photos and getting them to make a mini book about where they have been and what they have done works wonders. They can collect tickets, brochures, even take a few photos themselves.

They can't pretend to have had a bad time then :thumbsup: :D

[wendywu]

[
QUOTE=BlondeMoment;877499]I can't believe the child's father just stoo d back and let him speak to me like that either. I really am angry the more I think about it :angry:[/QUOTE]

I would have said to the child in front of the dad " now thats not very grateful is it **** after all i did not have to take you out now did i "

I dont let them get away with this type manipulating behaviour :angry:

[BlondeMoment]

[

I would have said to the child in front of the dad " now thats not very grateful is it **** after all i did not have to take you out now did i "

I dont let them get away with this type manipulating behaviour :angry:[/QUOTE]

The thing is I'm terrible at thinking on my feet. I was quite shocked and had other parents collecting thier kids at the same time so the moment kind of passed. REALLY wish I'd said that. I'll be having a word with him tomorrow

[mushpea]

I would change plans today and go to a park instead and when he runs off to play i would say 'where areyou going?, you dont like my outings so you''d better come and stay by my side expecialy as you were so rude last night', then I would make him stay by you and let him see the others having fun,,, you can make him wait a few minutes or all the session but make sure you get the effect you want so he learns his lesson.

[caz3007]

I have had one older boy who has issues and can be quite rude to me. I do say to him that I dont speak to him like that, so dont expect him to talk to me with that attitude and it usually works. Other older children have told him off in the past for speaking rudely to me.

Hope today goes better and he appreciates not being stuck indoors

[miffy]

I can't believe the child's father just stoo d back and let him speak to me like that either. I really am angry the more I think about it :angry:

I think you need to have words with the dad as well as the child.

If you've got photos of the child enjoying themselves on the outing then show dad too but really he should be able to see without those that his behaviour was just as rude and unsupportive as his childs!

Next holidays arrange your outings when this child is not with you.

Miffy xx

[BlondeMoment]

I think you need to have words with the dad as well as the child.

If you've got photos of the child enjoying themselves on the outing then show dad too but really he should be able to see without those that his behaviour was just as rude and unsupportive as his childs!

Next holidays arrange your outings when this child is not with you.

Miffy xx

LOL He's always with me. Him and his brother are my full timers :mad:
I'll be very careful next holidays. I won't be letting him make so many decisions about what we do and where we go.
Getting ready to have my little talk with him. Watch this space ....

[onceinabluemoon]

LOL He's always with me. Him and his brother are my full timers :mad:
I'll be very careful next holidays. I won't be letting him make so many decisions about what we do and where we go.
Getting ready to have my little talk with him. Watch this space ....

Good luck :)

[BlondeMoment]

Good luck :)

I told him this morning that I wasn't at all happy with how I was spoken to last night and that he had been very ungrateful. I told him I don't have to take him out and if he's going to be like that then next holidays we'll do nothing. I said that he's made me not want to take him to the museum today but because that wouldn't be fair on the others, we'd still be going. But that if he wasn't going to be grateful about the things he chose to do he wouldn't be allowed to choose anything next time.

He hung his head and looked quite gutted so message has got through i think. I'll be ready if he ever starts harping again then. I'll just say: Remember our little chat about being ungrateful? LOL ;)

[WibbleWobble]

oh i just though it was me being an old fashioned type parent where ps and qs mattered.

I have LOTS of schoolies and some are lovely and appreciated everything...others can be rude little :censored: !

I have found the rude ones are all boys! what i do is never enough.

eg

Yesterday i took a N (7) and his sister b (4) to the cinema to see Gnomeo and Juliet then we went to pizza hut for tea

N says to me "this is so boring, i hate it here. I am having a terrible time" cos he had to wait 10 mins for his pizza (this is on top of the general dont like this cinema. seats, why we parking here, to far to walk, etc etc etc )

NOW .....it was terrible...for me. I have a temp of 38 degrees, a chest infection and sinusitus. I felt and feel terrible. I would rather be tucked up in bed but NO i am taking you ungrateful little :censored: out on a trip cos i promised a big trip this hols. I have paid all this my self too!

so i said to my DD " you know what when i was 7 if a grown up took me any where i would be so pleased and thankful...its a shame really isnt it"

N went quite for a bit....which was lovely cos he was doing a lot of moaning.

I am ALSO (see i am on a roll here) sick of mindees whining at me when i say no....they just dont seem to take no for an answer....its constant pester power. My children NEVER did any of that...i say NO and NO means NO!




i am not well as you can see

i have just rang the docs and have an emergency appointment at 10:40am. I am sat in my dressing gown. (i had comp on to get docs number form t'internet)

going for a shower now


sorry for rant


mandy xxxx

[Newbie1!]

Oh Mandy - I had to dive on and comment at your 'rant' :laughing: Im sorry, you made me chuckle - dont mean that to be awful but I had this very conversation with DH last night. I would never have dared to speak to adults (or indeed other children) the way some of my mindees do and our little camping trip to Wales once a year (no day outings inbetween) was something we were very grateful for!!

Without wanting to sound too old fashioned - I wonder if it can be brought back to money? My parents and carers simply couldnt afford lots of outings, meals out etc and so we were grateful for what we got and appreciated it all the more when we did get it - it seems now that the little ones get everything they want when they want it (no waiting for bdays, christmas etc) and so expect it everywhere they go. Of course there is the odd exception, dont get me wrong, I dont want to say ALL little ones as thats unfair but most I have come across ask for things constantly and just cant understand why I dont just get it for them.......

"mummy always gets me a magazine in the car so I sit quietly"
"I always have sweets and a chocolate bar on a Friday"

and the best one......

"mummy said that when I come here I can ask you for things as your looking after me so you'll be paying" :eek: :eek:

Sorry - totally sabotaged your post BM for a rant but just so you know that we feel for you!! xxx :angry: :angry: