Friend driving me nuts AGAIN, do I cancel the contract?

[CTL03]

Hi people,

Bare with me as its quite a confusing story...
Well yet again my friend is trying to get round me. I look after her 5yr old and a 3 1/2yr old normally 2 days a week (I only work 3 days a week, although when I started out last Sept, I was more flexible and used to do the occassional 4 days when needed. his year I've decided it was just too stressful looking after 5 kids and I wasn't seeing my LO as much as I liked to, so I cut down the days to the original contract) Anyway....

We had a conversation the other week as she wanted to reduce her hours after Xmas and since she paid the full amount during the holidays wanted a refund etc (despite the fact that she pulled them out and I wasn't closed). I stuck by my guns and said I couldn't refund the money as she took it as holiday etc.

Then in January she was after a tally system (picking up late one day and picking up early the next so save money etc as opposed to get charged late fees). Again I said I couldn't do that.

Then on Saturday night, she texted me asking if I can look after the girls this Monday (she occassionally uses a Nanny when I can't do days but apparently the Nanny wasn't available either) I said I couldn't as me and my LO has other arrangements. She then text me saying "see you on Tues" (I only work Wed, Thurs, Fri, but as of March it's changing to Tues, Wed, Fri). I stated to her that I'm doing Tues in March only (which she already knew, as I spoke to her over the phone last week about it when she was saying that the girls will be on holiday over half term) and yet again I've got other arrangements on Tues. I mentioned about her saying about the girls being on holiday this week, then I got a text saying "Ok well I have to work Mon & Tues next week so I guess I'll be paying but not able to use you"!! :angry: The cheek!!!!

Bascially, her and her husband are having money trouble and she's trying to get me to "help her out". I've tried explaining this is a business and the other parents don't get that treatment so I can't give it to you.

The girls don't seem happy here, they never turn up on time and occassionally she picks up late, she's constantly wanting more flexibility and I'm just getting sick of feeling like I'm hitting my head against a brick wall. She has read the policies and signed them to say that she agrees and I really just want to terminate the contract but I'm aware we will fall out.
Also, I need to tell her that she actually owes me more money as it's half term etc.

What do I do I do? :( :mad:

[caz3007]

She sounds like she thinks she employs in the same way she does her Nanny and if its really stressing you out, then I would terminate. It sounds more trouble than its worth

[JCrakers]

Sounds like a complete nightmare...I couldnt do it.
Friends are the hardest people to work with as you run a business but feel the need to be soft with friends and let them off things.

I would have another sit down with her and start by saying.....I really value your friendship but this is my job, my lively hood and I really cant use it as giving favours. Say you would love to help her with her problems and can try and be flexible but cannot work like this. Just explain your feelings...they are better off out than in.
:D
Otherwise I think it could end up bitter between you :(
Becky x

[Blackcat]

tell her a fees need to be upto date before any ore care is given as you have bills to pay and then terminate as soon as you have received payment , harsh i know but this is stressing you out

[The Juggler]

Sounds like a complete nightmare...I couldnt do it.
Friends are the hardest people to work with as you run a business but feel the need to be soft with friends and let them off things.

I would have another sit down with her and start by saying.....I really value your friendship but this is my job, my lively hood and I really cant use it as giving favours. Say you would love to help her with her problems and can try and be flexible but cannot work like this. Just explain your feelings...they are better off out than in.
:D
Otherwise I think it could end up bitter between you :(
Becky x

i agree, this is a good idea. do you think she was maybe confused about the change of days in March, thinking they were starting now? However, if she said the girls were going to be on holiday it would have been nice to say 'plans changed now, can you have them' - esp. as she is a friend.

Tell her how much it upset her about her saying 'suppose I will be paying you for not having them'. Tell her if they were in nursery, same thing would apply.

If all else fails I would tell her you feel you'll have to give notice becuase you feel your friendship will be irreparable otherwise.:(

[mufftie]

It is always difficult when dealing with friends , I used to be far too flexible when I first started but I've now realised with experience that you leave yourself far too open to be messes around . I no longer accept flexible contracts and parents pay me a weekly rate which is agreed by us both at the start. start off mean then offer favours later should the trust between you have built up well
Unfortunately being a friend it is very hard for you to be upfront now , but you do need to be as the stress will just rollercoaster until a point you can't cope
I wish you all the luck but it does need to be sorted

[It's a small world]

I had the same when working for a friend. Shift worker parent noted what hours required on contract (not me) didnt have lo all the time depended on what shifts parent was doing (but I was open they just chose to keep lo at home) went on holiday came back needed me to work longer hours than normal so explained had gone over hours so would need to charge extra . They argued what hours were despite them writing hours on contract . Said as a friend I would let extra fees go (I know) but we would need to revise wording on contract otherwise extra fees etc would be applied in future. Im a business not a babysitter alot of paperwork goes into this job and it can be stressful. A week later got a phone call terminating contract....because I started to stand my ground.

You need to get it sorted and now..tell them you cant be seen doing favours what if other parents find out ? Your a business and these rules re extra hours/late fees/ fees even if child doesnt attend etc also apply to nurserys so not doing anything unusual.

Hope you get it sorted..its hard dealing with friends. Im hoping to take on another baby in May of a parent Im friendly with in school playground. Theyve seen my website so know my fees etc but also going to do a letter with a page pointing things out : late fees/holidays etc so no confusions this time....

Sad to say the friend who terminated contract and I no longer speak like we used to dont go to each others houses so children can play and sometimes avoid me in the playground... just shows some friends are not real friends only when they want something.

Sorry if long

[CTL03]

Thanks everyone for the responses. Very appreciated!

I'm just typing out an email to her now stating the problems that I feel we are facing and hopefully she will be more understanding.

I will you all know how it goes! Fingers crossed :)

Thanks again! x

[rachelmama]

hi
friends can be hard work and expect feebees , that was what i experienced when i worked as a hairdresser, and i used to think the cheek:angry:
in the end it put me right off working as one.
when i start childminding i will be sure not to make the same mistakes as i was to soft and was being taken advantage off.