View Full Version : Terminated Contract and feel terrible

19-02-2011, 09:02 PM
Am new her but need reassurance
Basically I have a minded child who I have had for almost 2 years. He has been quite challenging through the whole 2 years but events took a turn for the worse this week.
He's 10 years old and due to his behaviour aggreed with his parents that after school he could play in the street with his friends till mum came. This week after school he asked to go to the shops with his friends so i informed him this is not what me and his parents agreed and he flew into a fit at school throwing his scooter at my buggy with my own child in it. He ran off and I was left shouting after him as i had 4 other children with me which i couldnt leave. Once I got him to come back I told him his privilages to play outside had been taken away and he was to come with me now into my home. Well all the way home I was subjected to a load of 'f' you this and finger jestures which was humiliating to say the least infront of all the parents at school. Then at home he threw his mobile at my living room door and put a hole the size of a 10p piece in it, put a hole in my sofa and locked himself in my bathroom.
I handed my termination letter to his parents on fri and mum started to cry and left, dad seemed to take it ok and even offered to pay for door and sofa but am still feeling like rubbish like i've let them down somehow.

Would like some other childminders views on if they would have handled things differently or terminated contract also as I feel terrible.


The Juggler
19-02-2011, 10:43 PM
hon, i would have done exactly the same and it sounds like Dad understands. sounds to me like mum is struggling with the behaviour at home too from her reaction.

hope you are ok.:)

19-02-2011, 10:55 PM
I think you have done really well, especially if he has been displaying this sort of behaviour for the past 2 years.

You shouldn't have to put up with this so don't feel too bad about it.

20-02-2011, 12:34 AM
You have done the right thing. This disgusting scene from a boy old enough to know better was seen by many people in the playground.

If you continued to mind this child I know that you would loose other mindees. No parent in their right mind would place their child any where near a child out of control enough to throw a heavy metal scooter at a buggy containing a baby or toddler.

It is a serious accident waiting to happen, it makes my blood run cold. :angry:

20-02-2011, 12:59 AM
Thanks for the replies everyone. I think deep down i know im doing the right thing as i have a duty of care to not only my own children but the other children i mind but this is the first contract i've terminated because of a childs behavior and i really genuinely like these parents.
I know the children i care for will be a lot happier now so thats all that matters.

Thanks everyone

20-02-2011, 01:21 AM
you have done the right thing hun, and you have also done well to keep going with him for two years

dont beat yourself up over it

20-02-2011, 02:06 AM
Oh I feel for you it is the hardest thing.

I had a similar incident with an 12yr, I called mum home even though it was only 1/2hr to pick up. I terminated the contract with immediate effect because the other mindees and I had been put in danger.

Like you the child had been with me for over a year and I had discussed various stratagies to deal with the challenging behaviour which did not work. Interestingly. 5yrs on this child has a real reputation locally for their behavoiur which is so sad.

It sounds like you did the right thing.

20-02-2011, 05:28 AM
Yes you did the right thing - and I would have done the same.

You can not risk harm to yourself or own children or other mindees. You would not be safegurding the other mindees if you allowed this child to continue attending.

My grandson (6) has additional needs and displays some of the behaviour you have described - he is often removed from his class and often restrained by trained staff to protect himself and the staff and the other children. On occasion he is sent home / told not to attend because staff ill or going on trip where he would not cope. And this is a school with specially trained staff and a special one to one support worker for my grandson - and still they can't always cope.

These sort of behaviour management techniques are not possible if working alone so the ONLY option is to terminate with immeadiate effect.

A really hard decision - but you have not let the child or the family down - you have met the conditions of registration and safegurded the other children in your care.

Penny :)

20-02-2011, 09:04 AM
I hope you're feeling better about things this morning, I must say if I was in your situation, I'd be feeling hugely relieved that I'd given notice and would no longer have to deal with him. I would have done exactly the same and the termination would have been with immediate effect, no way would that child have set foot in my house again!


20-02-2011, 09:12 AM
I absolutely agree with everyone else. You did exactly the right thing. There is no way that you or any of the other children should be subjected to this behaviour or language. Don't feel bad about it.
I was wondering how he behaves at school, do they have the same problems? Or is it that he doesn't want to be collected by a childminder as he feels he is too big?

Anyway put it behind you and well done for behaving so proffessionally at the time.