View Full Version : how do you handle it?

Helen Dempster
18-02-2011, 11:16 AM
'it' being desruptive (if it's even that) behaviour?

His mum dropped him off this morning and said he'd been very good getting in the car etc that she'd given him a sticker, which I praised him for (yesterday he was being a right royal 'pickle' for both his mum and me so she had to take him to school herself!) As SOON as the door was closed, he turned into a devil child!!!! Started hitting my son with water bottle, and started to stand on the toddler's feet! Then it just went down hill from there - my own son was late for school because of this child's behaviour and that's something I can't abide :angry: Finally got him out of my house and into the car, but at the other end (a little walk to the school gate), he wouldn't budge. I asked him nicely if he could walk for me and he just ran into someone's garden/driveway. I told him that if I had to I would carry him and he said he would walk. He did - by leaning up against all the walls and walking at a snail's pace. In the end, I just took his arm and walked with him screaming and shouting at me to get off him. Finally got to the gate, gave my son his book bag and bottle, kissed him and off he went. Mindee....no such luck! Threw his bag and bottle on the floor, still screaming and shouting. I told him I was going to have to speak to mummy about his behaviour. I had to then literally pick him up, with him trying to hit, kick etc and hand him to a teacher, who equally struggled with him.

He's like this almost every day at different stages (usually when you say no to him, as he's not used to it!) Now, I can ignore the screaming and tantrums, but as soon as other children get affected by it, then no, something has to be done. I just don't know what - am at end of my tether with this one. I've had tantrumers before, but it's like this boy is on a different level to any of the others and I just can't get through to him at all. When I try to talk to him, he covers his ears and says "I'm not listening". Oh yeah, and when he hits other children, he laughs - if they get upset by it, he laughs harder.


18-02-2011, 12:11 PM
You poor thing :panic:

I've been through this with my eldest mindee and been kicked in the throat, slapped in the face etc.

I had a good talk with mum and we narrowed it down to when his dad was working shifts that meant they didnt see each other all week

In the end i would sit him on the sofa/chair until he calmed down althought this could take ages, had to keep putting him back on, he'd get off and slam my drawers or kick toys etc. After about a week of solidly sitting him for any little outburst he soon learnt not to leave the sofa, even when id walked off. Id always make a point of playing a lovely game with the others so he knew that he was missing out... eventually he stopped the tantrums and realised it was only him that lost out. I would also make him say sorry to whoever he'd hurt or to me if damaging toys etc.

Since dropping his hours this month, he seems to be regressing!

18-02-2011, 01:19 PM
A firm voice...I put my 'Teachers voice' on which means I mean business.:D

I walk down to school with 4 5/6/7yr old boys and they know how to walk when they are walking with Becky..I will not have disruptive behaviour on the school run as if someone ends up in the road its gonna be my neck on the line. Found out that the 5yr old crossed 2 roads on his own on Friday with mum and dad.:rolleyes:

I am firm but fair and the kids absolutly love coming. I have a time out area which I dont use very often but when I do it works well. The children have time to think and reflect on their behaviour.
Theres nothing wrong with being firm and straight to the point with the unwanted behaviour. 'I will not have this behaviour'. I would get down to his level and talk to him like you would an adult..explain that you will not have this behaviour, you do not kick toys and throw things at other children...its not what we do here.

We have loads of fun but the kids know how to behave, we always have problems but I just remind them when they happen.

I really wouldnt be able to cope with a 10hr day if the kids were behaving like they do at home. :blush:

Becky x

The Juggler
18-02-2011, 02:08 PM
how old is he hon? i had a child like this and most of it was down to sleep exhaustion (9pm bedtime at 2 years old) and there was some stuff going on in the family which he probably did not understand.

It was deliberate to hurt and/or provoke a reaction from me.

I would tell mum you need to sit down and work out a plan for behaviour management TOGETHER today and see how things go/improve over next few weeks.

If he is older (school age ) then make him sit next to you all the time - he will soon get bored of this behaviour and not being able to join in.