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kymberly
16-02-2011, 11:36 PM
Totally gutted! :( :panic:

My ds (3 yr old) has had some ongoing problems and the paediatrician thinks it MAY be ADD/ADHD (they don't officially diagnose until 7 yrs+).

I am shocked TBH and don't know where to go from here.

Any advice? :panic: :panic:

bexcee
17-02-2011, 09:41 AM
Try not to worry too much. The doctors said the same to me when my son was 4, he is now six and a half and everything is 'normal'. He grew out of it all and it was just a maturity problem and he wasn't dealing with very well. He's an August baby so he is the youngest in his year and is always paying catch up but in terms of behaviour he is like a totally different child. I got support from the school (maybe pre-school in your case) who referred us for extra support as well as doing a parenting course about how to deal with the behaviour issues.
There's plenty of support out there you just have to find it. Maybe you HV or even your DO can point you in the right direction.

sarah707
17-02-2011, 09:41 AM
There are many different strands of ADD / ADHD and a diagnosis can be anything from moderate to severe.

ADD and ADHD are quite different too.

The most important things a child needs are consistency and routines. If either of these change they can get very upset.

I would read this book by Dr Christopher Green - I find he puts things really well -

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Understandin...7935640&sr=8-1 (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0091817005?ie=UTF8&tag=childminding-21&linkCode=as2&camp=1634&creative=19450&creativeASIN=0091817005">Understanding Attention Deficit Disorder: Parent's Guide to Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder in Children</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.co.uk/e/ir?t=childminding-21&l=as2&o=2&a=0091817005" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;)

You can usually borrow a copy from the library.

Hugs xx

Blaze
17-02-2011, 10:07 AM
I agree - the book sarah recommended is fantastic - really helpful:thumbsup:

DAWN44
17-02-2011, 10:08 AM
Hi,

My middle son has adhd. ( and high functioning autism) He is a loving, very clever , humorous boy. Yes it is hard work, because is immature for his age and very demanding.

However you will find the strength to cope . Try and find out if there are any local support groups , we have a marvellous one. Nice to talk to other parents with same concerns.

My son has just started secondary school, I am so proud how well he is coping.

Hugs,
Dawn x :)

Happy Bunny
17-02-2011, 10:11 AM
Please don't be gutted.
My son has ADHD even though he is a handful at times and can drive me up the wall lol, he is an extremely bright child.
My son was finally diagnosed this year and he is 6, we spent years pushing for a diagnosis as we didn't want him labelled as a disruptive child when there was obviously a reason for his behaviour.

mushpea
17-02-2011, 10:15 AM
my son whose 10yrs old has just been diganosed with adhd,,,he is a loving caring child whose very sensitive and has a temper that can turn on and off as quick as you blink,,he is hyperactive and finds it hard to concentrate at school, he also finds social situations hard, the school are helping him as best they can with seperate one to one and group sessions as for the place that finaly diganosed him (we have been going there for the last 2.5yrs) they have said if we dont give him medication then there is nothing more they will do to help us! I knew from a very young age there was somthing 'not quite right' and fought for a long time to get him help, it can be a long hard frustrating rd to a diagnoes but hopefully now he can be statmented.
when he goes to school they should be able to recognise his needs and help him with extra sessions

charlie potato
17-02-2011, 03:03 PM
There are many different strands of ADD / ADHD and a diagnosis can be anything from moderate to severe.

ADD and ADHD are quite different too.

The most important things a child needs are consistency and routines. If either of these change they can get very upset.

I would read this book by Dr Christopher Green - I find he puts things really well -

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Understanding-Attention-Deficit-Disorder-Hyperactivity/dp/0091817005/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1297935640&sr=8-1

You can usually borrow a copy from the library.

Hugs xx

I can recommend this book. I read it and its brilliant. I would really recommend omega 3 fish oils such as eye q. They are 3 for the price of 2 in boots. They are brilliant for calming and concentration over time. My son is borderline but we manage to control his behaviour with diet. A massive thing with him is routine and we really have to be consistant even when we're tired and 'cant be bothered'. You change it and you suffer for days. There is light at the end of the tunnel. xx

Hebs
17-02-2011, 05:08 PM
my son was diagnosed at 6, however we had suspected it from him being 3 (when he started nursery)

he's now 11 and i've just had yet another meeting at the school about him and what support they can give him during his transition into the comp as right now thats stressing me out big time :(

but i love my very bright, very clever and sometimes downright pain in the behind little boy, and wouldn't change him for all the tea in china :D

kymberly
22-02-2011, 09:06 PM
Thanks for all your replies ladies!

Just going through such a tough time at the minute (tantrums, he doesn't sleep, won't do a thing I tell him etc). :(

Nice to get some support :)

lma
22-02-2011, 09:20 PM
Try not to worry although I know from first hand experiance that this is easier said than done.
My daughter was 'labeled' as a naughty child ever since the age of 2/3 at nursery and although I knew this wasnt true and there was an underlying reason for her behaviour it has taken me till she was 6 to get her confirmed as a child with severe ADHA. She is now see by a specialist doctor in the area who specialises in ADHA and is doing much better although I've had to agree to put her on meds as of next month which I've held off doing but have been told its got to happen otherwise we cant move forward.
Anyhow what I mean to say is that I'm very straight forward with all my parents and prospective parents about this and this has never stopped my from having childrena and theres quite an abundance of us in my area so work is quite hard to find and I have 5 children currently on my books who all either go to my daughters school or will go there so they see what shes like and I often get 'I dont know how you do it' from them but they all understand so dont worry about that front.

Keep persurvering and you will get through it. All be it maybe with a little less hair lol :laughing:

1michelle
22-02-2011, 10:06 PM
I have been reading this post with great intrest I have a 16 year old daughter that has adhd and odd unfortunatley we could not get this diognosed untill she was 14 years due to other issues it was masked over life is still a struggle and to be honest where I live there dosent seem to be any support groups could really do with one though on a postive note though I am going to have a look at that book that is mentioned I have been on the parenting course and although very good alot of the things are very hard to put in place for a teenager.:)

PixiePetal
22-02-2011, 10:27 PM
My nephew has ADD. We knew he was different from a very early age - by 3 he was seeing specialists about different things - clumsy, awful gross motor skills....but great at lego technic by 4 or 5 :rolleyes: then he got older and was immature for his age, stroppy tantrums - like a 2yr old at 6 or 7 yrs old. It was relentless. Turned into a 14yr old computer whizz - sorted out my PC trojan for me :thumbsup:

He is now almost 22, has had various difficulties through his teens but has now done distance learning to pick up his A levels which he missed out on and is heading for Uni soon :thumbsup:

It is not all doom and gloom - I think there is more help and understanding of the conditions now than there was when he was little.

Hebs
23-02-2011, 08:15 AM
Thanks for all your replies ladies!

Just going through such a tough time at the minute (tantrums, he doesn't sleep, won't do a thing I tell him etc). :(

Nice to get some support :)

oooohhh boy i sympathise with the sleep thing, my son used to have 2 hours sleep a night, however he's now on melatonin and sleeps from 8pm until 6am :clapping:
lack of sleep also makes their ADHD symptoms worse

kymberly
24-02-2011, 08:43 PM
oooohhh boy i sympathise with the sleep thing, my son used to have 2 hours sleep a night, however he's now on melatonin and sleeps from 8pm until 6am :clapping:
lack of sleep also makes their ADHD symptoms worse

Hi Heb,

He is currently on melatonin and its actually making his sleep worse! Instead of waking at 2 or 3am he is now waking at 11 or 12pm :eek:

I don't whether to persevere with it (he's on it 4wks) or accept its not gonna work.

I'm interested to know how many mls your son is on, as I've read too much can actually do the opposite and keep them awake. My son was on 3mls for the first 2wks and now is on 6mls.

Thanks

kymberly
27-02-2011, 10:53 AM
Just wondering if anyone else has used melatonin for children with adhd? At my wits end at the minute :panic:

Hebs
27-02-2011, 11:11 AM
he started on 2mg of melatonin and that worked fine until he had a growth spurt, he's now on 4mg

he has something to eat, then has his melatonin around 7.30pm then he goes to bed and reads in a dimly lit room (lamp) and then it's lights out at 8pm

Melatonin works better if they are relaxing in a dark-ish room, if they have it and then run around its stops it working

i do know of kids it doesnt work on, and my dr told me they are waking out of habit when it doesnt work so maybe you need to try a new sleep routine with him for a week or 2

hugs cos its hard work xx

flora
27-02-2011, 11:52 AM
Sending love and hugs.

I have been there and done it and am still doing it :D So I know what you are going through.

Like hebs says, try changing his bedtime routine and see how you go?

ziggy
27-02-2011, 12:10 PM
my son (aged 32 this week!!!) has ADHD and poor lamb still only sleeps 3 or 4 hours a night. My daughter (just 21) has severe dyspraxia and dyslexia and is in final year at university:)

I also worked with children on the spectrum while in England

I so agree with Sarah, consistency and routine are so so important. There are lots of books about now and helpful websites, good luck, it's hard work but there can be many laughs along the way

kymberly
28-02-2011, 04:29 PM
Great advice everyone thanks.

We do do the quiet bedtime routine (quiet time after tea, up for a bath, melatonin, story and into bed) and he goes down to sleep no problem.

The problem is keeping him asleep :panic:

But I will try giving him the melatonin once it's dark and he's in bed and I think we will go down to 2mls (his paeditrician advised 3mls then 6mls then 9mls :eek: but I've read too much can actually have the opposite effect :eek: ).

I'll let you know how we get on, thanks again! x

karenandsmile
28-02-2011, 05:27 PM
my son was diagnosed at the age of 5 (private) after a year or so he transfered us on to his NHS list and was on retalin from then until he was 12 years old it dosnt help their sleep if anything it makes it worse and also their appitite goes down hill so not only are you sleep deprived its hard to maintain a normal day in a working life a little trick me and my husband would do was shifts so from 6pm till midnight i would sleep and from midnight till 6am he slept that way we both got 6hours sleep we also slept our son down stairs so the other person can get un distirbed sleep this was the only way we could make sure our child was safe and we was safe as flooding and fire and escaping where all part of his night time activities

but hes 15 years old and im still alive and hes doing me proud even though he lost his father at the age of 8 and he is coming out of school with qualifications

kymberly
01-03-2011, 09:26 PM
my son was diagnosed at the age of 5 (private) after a year or so he transfered us on to his NHS list and was on retalin from then until he was 12 years old it dosnt help their sleep if anything it makes it worse and also their appitite goes down hill so not only are you sleep deprived its hard to maintain a normal day in a working life a little trick me and my husband would do was shifts so from 6pm till midnight i would sleep and from midnight till 6am he slept that way we both got 6hours sleep we also slept our son down stairs so the other person can get un distirbed sleep this was the only way we could make sure our child was safe and we was safe as flooding and fire and escaping where all part of his night time activities

but hes 15 years old and im still alive and hes doing me proud even though he lost his father at the age of 8 and he is coming out of school with qualifications

I would love to do the shift thing, then you are both guaranteed sleep however, neither me nor my partner could sleep on the 'early' shift - 6 to 12. I'd love to but no matter how sleep deprived I am I can't get to sleep till around 9 at the earliest. Well done to you for making it work for you, it sounds like you've had it tough for a long time.

We've just contacted a private sleep clinic called Millpond (anyone come across it before?), I don't know if they will be able to help but wortha try.

Do you know what is the earliest age for diagnosis, I'd heard 7yrs but going privately they can diagnose earlier??

Thanks again ladies xx

Hebs
02-03-2011, 10:53 AM
I would love to do the shift thing, then you are both guaranteed sleep however, neither me nor my partner could sleep on the 'early' shift - 6 to 12. I'd love to but no matter how sleep deprived I am I can't get to sleep till around 9 at the earliest. Well done to you for making it work for you, it sounds like you've had it tough for a long time.

We've just contacted a private sleep clinic called Millpond (anyone come across it before?), I don't know if they will be able to help but wortha try.

Do you know what is the earliest age for diagnosis, I'd heard 7yrs but going privately they can diagnose earlier??
Thanks again ladies xx

i know a 4 year old that was diagnosed by NHS not private x

kymberly
03-03-2011, 10:53 PM
I can recommend this book. I read it and its brilliant. I would really recommend omega 3 fish oils such as eye q. They are 3 for the price of 2 in boots. They are brilliant for calming and concentration over time. My son is borderline but we manage to control his behaviour with diet. A massive thing with him is routine and we really have to be consistant even when we're tired and 'cant be bothered'. You change it and you suffer for days. There is light at the end of the tunnel. xx

Hey Sarah and Charlie potato,

Just got this book and it looks great. Thanks for the recommendation!

And to everyone else for your kind words and advice xo

kymberly
07-03-2011, 10:17 PM
Hey, me again, :blush:

Just wanted to recommend this book to anyone dealing with ADHD. It's really opened my eyes!! It's made me so much more understanding and I'm motivated rather than depressed :clapping:

Thanks again ladies xo