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Bendy
16-02-2011, 07:01 PM
Have you ever experienced this before? Is it a faze or as a result of changes in personal circumstances. (sorry its a long one)

I look after a lovely little girl who was 2 last September. She is currently an only child (mother expecting currently 20 weeks).

This week out of the blue she has decided that she does not like me, has clung to her mum crying and begging her not to leave her. She talks with a very cross voice and a face that is full of frown lines.

Today when asked if she wanted to go to music and song group she refused then when I said ok we will do something else she panics and changes her mind. The whole day has been her refusing to do something me saying ok what about this and then she changes her mind.

When mum came to collect she was the complete opposite refused to go home, very upset and clung to me with all her might.

I'm inclined to think maybe due to mum expecting a baby, or the fact that for the last 3 weeks on a Wednesday I have looked after a 1 year old for just 2 hours. This is only temporary and I will only have her for another 2 weeks. My full time mindee does not like to share and gets very cross with this little one. (She has been the only child I have minded since registration so is used to a lot of one to one)

What can go on in a mind so young that causes her so much anger and distress? She has been cross all day and to be honest I was glad when she went home and I'm dreading tomorrow.

What is the best way to deal with this I can't give into her every whim?

catminder
16-02-2011, 07:24 PM
Hi Bendy, I think they call this the 'terrible twos' !
she may also be feeling a bit confused and insecure re new baby and having to share toys (and your attention) with your other mindee I'm sure with lots of attention and reassurance she'll settle, good luck!

Bendy
16-02-2011, 10:06 PM
I don't remember my two being like this, must admit was a while ago :blush: and like most things I probably forgot.

It did cross my mind but it has been such a quick and extreme change to her personality I kind of ruled it out.

Any advice on the terrible twos anyone?

bexcee
16-02-2011, 10:22 PM
I had something similar last year when my little mindee's mum was expecting. she didn't want to come in the mornings and didn't want to leave in the evenings! She didn't want to go out but didn't want to stay in!
I think it's a confusing stage for them and they need lots of reassurance that they are still important and still have an opinion.
I got some books about becoming a big sister that we used to read together and mum got a copy at home too. We worked together and kept to the routine and she was soon back to her happy content little self.
One of the books was called 'I'm Going To Be A Big Sister' and came with a music cd that was great:http://www.amazon.co.uk/Im-Going-Be-...7894972&sr=1-6 (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/097671986X?ie=UTF8&tag=childminding-21&linkCode=as2&camp=1634&creative=19450&creativeASIN=097671986X">I'm Going to Be a Big Sister!</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.co.uk/e/ir?t=childminding-21&l=as2&o=2&a=097671986X" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;), another was there's a house inside my mummy: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Theres-House.../dp/1841210684 (http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1841210684?ie=UTF8&tag=smallmocampin-21&linkCode=as2&camp=1634&creative=19450&creativeASIN=1841210684">There's a House Inside My Mummy (Orchard Picturebooks)</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.co.uk/e/ir?t=smallmocampin-21&l=as2&o=2&a=1841210684" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;)

angeldelight
17-02-2011, 08:56 AM
Have you ever experienced this before? Is it a faze or as a result of changes in personal circumstances. (sorry its a long one)

I look after a lovely little girl who was 2 last September. She is currently an only child (mother expecting currently 20 weeks).

This week out of the blue she has decided that she does not like me, has clung to her mum crying and begging her not to leave her. She talks with a very cross voice and a face that is full of frown lines.

Today when asked if she wanted to go to music and song group she refused then when I said ok we will do something else she panics and changes her mind. The whole day has been her refusing to do something me saying ok what about this and then she changes her mind.

When mum came to collect she was the complete opposite refused to go home, very upset and clung to me with all her might.

I'm inclined to think maybe due to mum expecting a baby, or the fact that for the last 3 weeks on a Wednesday I have looked after a 1 year old for just 2 hours. This is only temporary and I will only have her for another 2 weeks. My full time mindee does not like to share and gets very cross with this little one. (She has been the only child I have minded since registration so is used to a lot of one to one)

What can go on in a mind so young that causes her so much anger and distress? She has been cross all day and to be honest I was glad when she went home and I'm dreading tomorrow.

What is the best way to deal with this I can't give into her every whim?

Oh bless her

What does mom do when she does not want to go home ?
How does she deal with her crying etc

I have had heaps of children go through this stage and how you deal with it may be good for one child but might not work for another.

I always find distraction a good thing though - get a book or some crafts that she has done that day and about ten min before mom is due to pick up encourage her to get the book or pictures ready to show her mom. Ignore the fact that she is clingy and holding onto you and encourage her to show her mom what she has been reading or doing

Do you only have her for another 2 weeks now ?

Angel xx

Bendy
18-02-2011, 08:19 AM
Oh bless her

What does mom do when she does not want to go home ?
How does she deal with her crying etc

I have had heaps of children go through this stage and how you deal with it may be good for one child but might not work for another.

I always find distraction a good thing though - get a book or some crafts that she has done that day and about ten min before mom is due to pick up encourage her to get the book or pictures ready to show her mom. Ignore the fact that she is clingy and holding onto you and encourage her to show her mom what she has been reading or doing

Do you only have her for another 2 weeks now ?

Angel xx

Thanks Angel, I tried distraction yesterday and it seemed to work.

Its the one year old that I have on a temporary basis, so this issue may be temporary or long term. When I have time over the weekend I'm going to go through my development books on ideas how to deal with the 'terrible twos' I'm obviously rusty as I hadn't realised that was what was wrong.

Thanks everyone for advice.

gegele
18-02-2011, 08:27 AM
Have you ever experienced this before? Is it a faze or as a result of changes in personal circumstances. (sorry its a long one)

I look after a lovely little girl who was 2 last September. She is currently an only child (mother expecting currently 20 weeks).

This week out of the blue she has decided that she does not like me, has clung to her mum crying and begging her not to leave her. She talks with a very cross voice and a face that is full of frown lines.

Today when asked if she wanted to go to music and song group she refused then when I said ok we will do something else she panics and changes her mind. The whole day has been her refusing to do something me saying ok what about this and then she changes her mind.

When mum came to collect she was the complete opposite refused to go home, very upset and clung to me with all her might.

I'm inclined to think maybe due to mum expecting a baby, or the fact that for the last 3 weeks on a Wednesday I have looked after a 1 year old for just 2 hours. This is only temporary and I will only have her for another 2 weeks. My full time mindee does not like to share and gets very cross with this little one. (She has been the only child I have minded since registration so is used to a lot of one to one)

What can go on in a mind so young that causes her so much anger and distress? She has been cross all day and to be honest I was glad when she went home and I'm dreading tomorrow.

What is the best way to deal with this I can't give into her every whim?

same things here nearly word for word.
don't worry it's a phase. don't playher game. so she sees that her behaviour has no impact and do fuss when she's nice.

my mindee through herself at mum, then when i take her she scream and go limb. i put her by the toys she like to play with and tell her "stop the sillyness and let's have fun, say bye bye to mummy she's going to work"she stands up smile at her mum, kiss and go to play!!!

if she knows she'll get extra attention if she plays up she will!
:thumbsup: