View Full Version : Wont say please or thank you.

15-02-2011, 02:12 PM
I have a 2yr old boy all day monday and tuesday. He joined my setting september 2010.
Since the day he started i have had problems with his manners. If i ask if he wants something its just 'yes' or 'no'. I never get a please or thankyou. Ive had numerous conversations with him where ive explained about how its good for him to have nice manners and will he please say please if he wants something. He says yes he will remember but then he never does.
He will say ''Lynn pass my drink''. I cant let him go thirsty so i do after asking him for the magic word. He then says please.
I dont want to have to keep reminding him.
Help please its getting so frustrating.
Lynn xx :angry: :angry:

The Juggler
15-02-2011, 02:15 PM
just keep going with it hon. as you pass him stuff, say the 'thank you' with him to model it or say. if he's asking quite abruptly as well as not saying please/thank you I would also remind him to speak nicely.

15-02-2011, 02:53 PM
I agree just keep trying but he is only two and not many two year olds are consistent with their manners.

I would either remind him or as the Juggler says model the manners or both.

Miffy xx

15-02-2011, 02:56 PM
i have a two and a half year old and she doesnt even speak to me, she could go all day without speaking.

15-02-2011, 04:05 PM
A special please and thankyou chart? My lot LOVE stickers :D

And I joke about the magic word too: First of all I don't hear the person asking something without a please attached: Did you say something? Nope I can't work it out there must be a word missing" kinda thing. All in a kind but mysterious voice.... ;).

He'll get it eventually - maybe isn't reminded at home or at other settings :)


15-02-2011, 04:06 PM
He's only two - just keep persevering. I doubt he understands what you are talking about when you talk about 'manners' and its obviously something his parents don't coach him on the other 5 days of the week you don't have him :)

15-02-2011, 04:13 PM
when my 3 year old came to me in october she didnt even know the word 'thank you' and would only say please during a tantrum (shouting it while screaming blue murder & kicking everything...thinking just cus she says please now it will get her what she wanted).

i emphasise the word now & she will always copy me, took a while though......mind, she still wont say please or thank you without promting as its not 'required' at home :rolleyes:

im a stickler for manners :(

15-02-2011, 04:32 PM
He can only learn from copying the behaviour so instead of asking for the magic word as you get something for him just say the word for him as a prompt, as time goes on you can start leaving a pause before saying it so hopefully prompting him. But don't get wound up about it its not worth the stress, he will learn after all you say he is 2.

15-02-2011, 08:14 PM
is he 2 as in just 2 or as in almost 3?

With a just 2 year old I would say please or thankyou where they should, at around 2.5 i say p p p or th th th, at 3 i wont let go of the thing unless they say thanks and dont hear if they dont say please.

Mind you I am also a stickler for reminding the elderly folk where i live about their manners too! This is especially true if one of my mindees, for example, holds a door for somebody and they walk through without saying thanks. I use my special childminding voice and say 'thank you xxx, goodness me that lady didn't have very good manners did she?' in a bit of a 'stage whisper'. Bad manners in all generations get my back up!

15-02-2011, 08:48 PM
ive got a 3 year old mindee and she NEVER says please or thankyou without prompt, im also a stickler for manners but i dont let it bother me, il remind her 100 times a day if i have to. :D

15-02-2011, 11:29 PM
Flippin'eck! He is 2?

I still have to remind all the children at times and they range from 5-14 years old!

What am I talking about - I still have to remind adults sometimes too ;)

16-02-2011, 09:00 AM
bless him he is only two .......are his parents well mannered??? just keep up the good work cos manners cost nothing!!!

16-02-2011, 12:58 PM
Thanks everyone and I know he is only 2 bless him. I just sometimes feel like i'm hiting a brick wall as i can remind him one minute and he's 'forgotten' the next.
His parents are lovely but he is an only child and (i know thats not always an excuse) he is quite spoilt.
I will persevere and try not to take it personally lol.
I will also incorporate all your tips and advice.
Thanks again.
Lynn xx

16-02-2011, 01:14 PM
He'll learn Lynn, just say it with him to remind him this is how things work...it may mean you have to say it 10000 times a day but he'll get there

It's the one's that say NO if you ask them to say please and thank you you want to be worrying about and boy I've had a few :eek: but they don't blooming well get :laughing:

16-02-2011, 02:39 PM
My 19 month old mindee was making me laugh yesterday -
she wants her drink she says "Juice"
and I say "do you want juice"
and she says "yes, juice"
and I say "please"
and she says "peese"
and I say "juice please"
and she looks at me as if I am completely insane and repeats "juice"

She can say both things - but in her mind they are completely separate!

16-02-2011, 02:54 PM
i have a two and a half year old and she doesnt even speak to me, she could go all day without speaking.

Have you got my mindee?? :laughing:

16-02-2011, 02:57 PM
I just wish my two year old mindee would speak (he does not even have the basic sounds going on:rolleyes: - his 9 month old sister has more communication and sounds than he does). He looks at you as if you are loopy and goes into a sulk because you are asking him to talk!!!! We are on doing some signing with the speech and I think its beginning to connect somewhere.