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View Full Version : Mindee being good at your house, but not so at home...?



Helen Dempster
08-02-2011, 09:42 PM
When 17m mindee was collected today, his dad asked how he'd been. I said he'd been good as gold, as usual. Dad when quiet and 'mmmm'ed a bit. I asked why. He said his behaviour at home has been pretty awful, generally. Have any of you had this before, and how did you deal with it (if at all?) He did go through a spate of hitting, and does get over-excited when the after schoolies are here, but the rest of the day he's great.

francinejayne
08-02-2011, 09:46 PM
my 18 month old mindee is exactly the same! he is a dream for me, no trouble at all! mum told me on monday that the terrible 2s arrived at the weekend, he had a terrible 1 hour tantrum on sunday and is generally a monkey for mum!

I don't know what to suggest, I'm just happy that I get the lovely side of him!!! :D

xdirtydancerx
08-02-2011, 09:48 PM
I think you find most kids are better behaved when in other peoples company :D

sweets
08-02-2011, 09:53 PM
I think you find most kids are better behaved when in other peoples company :D

definately! a few of my mindees are nightmares at home and good as gold for me.
the other day one of them (22mnths)decided to do a poo just as dad arrived to pick her up, i asked him to come in while i changed her, she then lay like an angel on the mat while i changed her in about 30 seconds flat, dad was gobsmacked as it takes 2 of them and about 10 mins of kicking and screaming at home for them to change her! lol

miffy
08-02-2011, 09:55 PM
I think you find most kids are better behaved when in other peoples company :D

Absolutely (thank goodness!) - I wouldn't want the children the parents describe sometimes! :panic:

Miffy xx

Helen Dempster
08-02-2011, 09:56 PM
definately! a few of my mindees are nightmares at home and good as gold for me.
the other day one of them (22mnths)decided to do a poo just as dad arrived to pick her up, i asked him to come in while i changed her, she then lay like an angel on the mat while i changed her in about 30 seconds flat, dad was gobsmacked as it takes 2 of them and about 10 mins of kicking and screaming at home for them to change her! lol

Oh I have this as well :) I changed him the other day and he was all done - went to put the nappy in the bin and when I came back he was STILL laying on the changing mat! :laughing:

tulip0803
08-02-2011, 10:22 PM
I think you find most kids are better behaved when in other peoples company :D

ALL my preschoolers are nightmares if you speak to their parents. Good as gold here:thumbsup: . All have nappy changes like angels, eat more and things they don't eat at home:rolleyes: . Some times I think the parents don't believe their diaries.

The Juggler
08-02-2011, 10:28 PM
some of mine too but best example is my dd - angel at school - little devil at home - she's been like that since she was 2 and now she is 9:laughing:

mufftie
08-02-2011, 10:30 PM
some of mine too but best example is my dd - angel at school - little devil at home - she's been like that since she was 2 and now she is 9:laughing:

i think most kids are , but i would rather it be that way

xdirtydancerx
08-02-2011, 10:32 PM
ALL my preschoolers are nightmares if you speak to their parents. Good as gold here:thumbsup: . All have nappy changes like angels, eat more and things they don't eat at home:rolleyes: . Some times I think the parents don't believe their diaries.

But isn't that because we make half of it up? We really gag them and chain them to the radiator :rolleyes:

clareelizabeth1
08-02-2011, 10:39 PM
I've had this before and I have always found that telling them it is because they have taught their children how to behave in public so well that they just know that is how they have to behave at CM or school.

To be fair though I have always thought that it is because children have a sixth sence that their parents will love them no matter what they do wear as teachers and other people they meet in life don't have quite the same obligations. Although saying that I do adore all of my mindies even when they are running around all crazy

Pipsqueak
08-02-2011, 11:12 PM
Parents are 'safe' people to do it to. They offer unconditional love regardless.
They are the people with whom to test the boundaries. Home is the safe haven where you can kick back and be you - irrespective of age! lol
Its also as someone else says - parents have taught them to behave outside the home.

mushpea
09-02-2011, 07:00 AM
most of my mindees are like that and also so were my kids when they went to my mums, they would be angels there when they were little and as soon as i walked in the were little devils!
I am sure that with some parents its bbecause they dont tell their kids of as much because of guilt of leaving them,, they just let the kids get on with it or give in to the tantrum.
how about talking to dad again and if hes really worried then suggest some stratergies on how to deal with the childs behaviour stuf you do at yours then say it would be less confusing for the child if he did this at home too.

georgie456
09-02-2011, 07:36 AM
Mine are all like this too - my fuller timer changes before my eyes the moment the front door opens and he spots mum. It really is a sight to behold!!!
I'm sure she thinks I'm lying through my teeth when I say he's so good for me!!!

FussyElmo
09-02-2011, 07:37 AM
My mindee is as good as gold for me however for her parents can be a right stubborn madam. But the flip side is my ds can be a right little monkey but when he goes out with mindee he is as good as gold :)

snufflepuff
09-02-2011, 09:10 AM
Both my mindees are the same! One of them literally changes as soon as mum comes through the front door, she is a totally different child to the one I have here all day!

messyplay
09-02-2011, 09:36 AM
My nearly 4 year old threw a punch at his mum when she came to pick him up because she wouldnt give him his toy that was in her pocket. Mum never said a word :eek:

maryp0ppins
09-02-2011, 10:03 AM
Both my mindees are the same! One of them literally changes as soon as mum comes through the front door, she is a totally different child to the one I have here all day!

I have a 4 year old boy the same as you......Mum calls him the devil child :panic: , but for me he's a great, funny little chap :thumbsup: .
At home time he 'cant put his own shoes on' 'he cant do his coat up' 'he wont-sorry cant hold his own bag'

I have started getting him ready 10 mins before mum arrives and surprise surprise he's ready and waiting as he got himself ready, shoes,coat and bag on his back....we even get time to count the stars outside the door!!!

JCrakers
09-02-2011, 10:39 AM
Most of the children who I look after are right little monkeys at home or when parents pick up.

As a parent you have a differnt bond and softer approach and are you easily manipulated and give in easier :D I love my mindees but obviously dont have the same love as I do with my own two children.

Plus if parents have been at work all day and not seen their little ones they are more likely to let discipline slip and kids know how to take advantage of that...
Being a childminder you have to set boundaries that MUST be followed. Can you imagine have 3 little ones and 1 of them has a tantrum for an hour...I just wouldnt tolerate it....I'd just ignore where as a parent it would be a lot more difficult to do this as theres more of a loving bond between parent and child.

messyplay
09-02-2011, 11:24 AM
He has also been labelled the devil child( by family members) always good for me but awful for mum. Tried to work with mum but she doesnt follow through gives in for an easy life, has an older son( only by a year and a half) exactly the same gets his own way all the time with parents and grandparents.

RachelE
09-02-2011, 12:23 PM
I think most children will play up for their own parents, but can be angels all day.

My own mindees are the same.

But, my darling 4yr old daughter is driving me to an early grave. She 'can' be an angel and is at school :rolleyes: but as soon as she gets out of school and is home, she's horrible. I am tough with her.

I attended a talk on children with autism and the speaker spoke about how autistic children try very hard to conform to the rules and routine all day and then release, may be by being boisterous or not doing as told.
Its completely the same for minded children and school children. They have been away from the home and their parents all day - have different rules from home and done their best to be good - then as soon as they see their parents, its a big release with the comfort of them.
- not helpful for us parents that get the raw end of the deal though! :rolleyes:

Rachel x