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marnieb
07-02-2011, 01:38 PM
hi girls,

I've had E for almost 7 months - he's almost 18 months old now - and he's actually getting more hard work as he gets older as he gets lazier....

He can walk, but when I put him on his feet he falls like spagetti and crawls, and cries if I try and get him to walk.

Eating is an utter nightmare, he won't feed himself unless its toast. This morning I gave him his weetabix, then put a banana in front of him, and he literally sat staring at it for 25 min refusing to eat it, so I got him down. Gave him no snacks so he'd eat lunch, and again he just sat and stared at it till I fed him as I'd had enough and he had to go to bed.

Mum says at home he's fine, walks everywhere and feeds himself no problem....

Do you think it's reasonable of me to say to mum I'm just going to give finger foods the next 2 days he's here, and just hope the walking sorts itself out??

I really need him to be more independant by March when new baby mindee starts. Just thought as I'm typing - he sees me feed baby A (12mts), so do you think he just thinks it all gets done for him here???

help!!!!

little chickee
07-02-2011, 01:52 PM
My intial thought is that he probably IS like this at home - his mum just doesnt want to admit it.

I would find it quite strange that a child that happily walks everywhere and happily feeds himself at home would refuse to do it at your house.

I would just continue to encourage him to do age appropiate things. Call mums bluff - shes says he can do all these things so have him do them.

I would not be carrying an 18 months old just cos hes too lazy to walk - i also would not spoonfeed him just cos he cant be bothered to do it himself.

give him a week of staring at his food and crawling everywhere and he will either give up and do it properly or you can have a frank conversation with his mum about it all.

Eiher way i would be encouraging him to be doing these things himself.

grindal
07-02-2011, 02:04 PM
I would give him finger foods - and put them on the table/highchair in front of him and let him get on with it! Is there anyone else eating at the same time? Do you have the same food as E? As for walking - again, let him crawl. Do not pick him up or carry him around, and if you are out just put E in a pushchair.

I have the other side of this problem at the moment - an extremely independant 15 month old who believes she is capable of doing just about anything but lacks the coordination - and HATES being in a pushchair, cos she can walk - but, it is SOOOOOOOOO slow, most of the time it is just not practical!!

Playmate
07-02-2011, 02:23 PM
All children develop at different rates and some are just not ready to be that independent at 18mths. Just keep trying with the food slowly a bit of finger food and assist with spoon feeding allowing him time to experiment. He will walk when he is ready. My own DD didn't get onto her feet until she was 18mths and she hasn't speeded up since (now 14 :laughing: ) she still does everything at snails pace :D

The Juggler
07-02-2011, 02:24 PM
I agree with little chickee he probably is a bit like this at home and mum probably does feed him if he stops eating as it's easier. It's hard hon. Babies will not starve themselves but if he's used to mum giving in and then feeding him he'll be used to that.

I think the key with him is to offer food at the moment, little and often so maybe a few more snack times until he gets used to the idea he has to feed himself. Or, perhaps 2 spoons/forks for a bit. you do one mouthful, he does the other?

blue bear
07-02-2011, 04:15 PM
I find at this age they are more willing to feed themselves at the beginning of the meal when they are hungry. I'd try letting him feed himself the first couple of mouthfuls then help him along encouraging him to feed himself more and more each week, so instead of feeding him the weetabix give him the banana to feed himself and then you spoon in the weetabix

Just be casual about it make feeding yourself fun, if you get stressed then so will E.

I had a little one who was carried every where and was reluctant to walk at this age, I made a compromise I would carry her to bed/ when hurt etc but let her crawl otherwise, consistency is the key, they soon work out the rules in different places.

karen m
07-02-2011, 08:10 PM
I have a lo who is 12 mths in 2 weeks ,according to dad she can stand up at settee and walk along it this was said approx 4 weeks ago as much as i have tried lo just lifts feet up if you try to get her to stand,also dad says she eats most things at home sorry but she refuses point blank to eat at my home even breakfast when you would expect her to be hungary,lucky if i can get her to eat 1 mouthful,i don't give her a snack so that at lunch you would expect her to be hungary but no she just clams up even with her bottles she has about 4 oz then just pours it on the floor,then if i give a biscuit she just looks at it then throws it to be honest i take what parents say but just try things my way too and hope she gets what she needs,

Monkey26
07-02-2011, 08:25 PM
I had one who was approx 18 months when she started with me - she refused point blank to eat her lunch with me, despite mum saying she eats everything in sight...
I cut out morning snacks for a few weeks, let her sit there staying at her lunch for a few weeks... Eventually, she realised i wasn't going to feed her or offer an alternative!
Oh by the way, eventually mum admited she didn't really do proper meal times at home, just let the little girl graze all day!!!
Good luck, kids adapt quickly, the little one will soon realise that you have different rules to home and settle down :) xx

marnieb
08-02-2011, 07:24 AM
Thanks for all the replies.

had a chat with mum last night, and again she claimed he feeds himself at home and reeled off a list of foods he ate over the weekend - I said thats good but told her i'm not going to feed him and just offer finger foods, and she's on board with me for that.

She said he walked all day while out on sunday, but thinks it has to be 'on his terms' when he walks, so I think my best bet is just to leave him, and if he wont walk when we go out (to groups etc indoors), then I'll just let him crawl in front of me, and hopefully he'll soon get fed up of not being carried and start walking.

Different day, different mindee, off to music class soon!!!! :laughing: