kids dressing themselves

[desiderata]

I have a mindee who was 3 in December and whos parents accepted a school nursery place for her in January. mindee is quite grown up with me but very babyish at home as her sibling is in secondary school. Mom and dad do everything for mindee but I dont. Now at nursery doing pe etc. and I am encouring mindee to do more ie dressing and undressing. Now on a Friday I only have mindee so last week I spent some time with E encouring her to take off her uniform as much as she could by herself and then helping when she was stuck. I did the same with the t shirt and leggings she had to put on. I didnt shout at all just said you try you can do it . In the end she undid all her cardigan buttons, removed her skirt and tights , needed help with t shirt. Then put on leggings after a few attempts at getting two legs in one hole then put on t shirt and was pleased with herself telling my ds that she had done it all by herself!


Dad comes to pick up all fine. Mom turns up this morning and says "E says you shouted at her all day Friday and wouldnt do anything for her she was very upset all night over it and was worried about coming her today!" Child ran in as normal and didnt say anything. Anyway I tried to tell mom that I am only trying to help the child as Nursery expect them to be able to get dressed themselves. Moms answer "shes only 3 and its quicker if we do it" and off she went.

What would you do in this situation?

[rickysmiths]

I would continue to encourage lo to do things herself and perhaps do an observation supporting it in her LJ maybe photos of her in stages undoing her coat. Send the LJ home for comments so after this observation.

Praise her when she does it herself. If mum or Dad makes a comment again explain that when you have other mindees you haven't got time to do all their coats and shoes etc so you encourage independence in line with the Ages and Stages guidlines in EYFS.

[desiderata]

thanks for the comment. I do send ljs home regularly they look at it and never put any comments in they say they havent got time! I just feel that they always pick on things Im doing cos there is a 9 year gap in their kids they really baby the mindee she still drinks out of a baby cup and they take it everywhere even to parties and wont let her use an ordinary cup this is something else I have issues with when my 18 month old mindee drinks from a normal cupx

[little chickee]

i would continue to encourage the child to be more independant - someone has to!

she seems to have managed it fine and was proud of her acheivments so carry on. You may not get the parent on board with this but at your house you can do so.

I did exactley the same for a mindee whos parent did absolutley everything for him - still spoonfeeding him at 3, doing all dressing and undressing etc. As this child got to 4 and was unable to do the slightest thing for himself i started to encourage him to.

it in the child interest to do these things as you are preparing them for the next stage of their lives, nursery then school.

Yes it is much quicker to do it all for them but they have to start somewhere.

[mama2three]

i have a rising 5 with exactly the same problem . parents baby him , and when he comes out half undressed after school pe for example Mum complains to me about school - and moans regularly that we arent allowed to take them into the cloakroom area in the morning to help etc. I have said that this is why I work constantly with him to encourage him to do things for himself but she just shrugs and says oh you know what Im like!
He is almost always able to dress himself with me , after months of encouragement and bribery! the snakebelt still poses a problem but possibly because its so tight if you let go too soon it pings across the room!

[mufftie]

there was another post similar to this yesterday and i agree children are becoming lazy because parents havnt got the time to be patient and teach the children independance

i would just keep getting her to do do it and other independant tasks , i have a mix range of children here for example i have a just turned 3 yr old who has been managing her own shoes , toileting issues , seat belts etc since she was 2.5 yrs and yet i have 4yrolds who cant even find their shoes let alone put them on its so annoying