So strange! All 'go' & then nothing?

[Tinglesnark]

I had 2 enquiries in the past few weeks, one with a baby and one with twins.
the twins kept messing me around anyway but the mum and baby were a re definite goer!
She was so enthusiastic and promised to call me back because i was the "one" and everything was thankfully perfect but then i have never heard back! I text her but she hasn't ever replied :mad: How rude! I must be a seriously BAD childminder for all of these parents to just never ever return - must give off a really bad vibe but for the life of me i cannot think what it could be? I try not to go for the over sell or business approach and aim for a more child led angle. I hand over my portfolio and nip off to make refreshments whilst they browse and have a nose around. I give them information on costs, hours, outings and activities, Ofsted and inspections, help they may be entitled to & sign post them, i talk to them about rearing their child; their views and ideals...
I just don't see where i am going so badly wrong but clearly there are some fatal errors occurring! I have never had a signing on the spot yet :(
I am sorry, i do try so hard to be positive but it is so disheartening time after time, it really is :(

[grindal]

Dont be too disheartened. Choosing someone to look after your children is a big decision. Nobody has ever signed with me on the spot - I encourage other parents to go and see other providers before they make a decision. If I had a vacancy I would always tell people I had another parent coming about the space and give them a deadline for getting back to you. You could also phone and ask them if they have had time to consider your vacancy, but you have another party interested and you are giving them first refusal.

It took me a while to get my first set of parents - I was seriously starting to wonder if giving up work had been a good idea, but it all worked out in the end. Hope your situation improves soon.

[SYLVIA]

It can be horrible waiting for parents to get back to you. I have had a few parents want to sign on the spot but to be honest I'd rather they didn't. I like time to consider how I feel about the child and the family before agreeing to a placement. I also tell them that I have others looking and ask for a decision within 7 days. Hang on in there the right one will come along

[Tinglesnark]

O hyes, i know and i appreciate that. i always say to them to take their time and think about it before jumping in and signing contracts, which is probably why. I always tell them that there are many cm's in the area and ensure that they know that they have options.
Maybe i am handing them to other cm's on a plate?
who knows :panic:
One thing is for sure, they arent choosing me over the other cm's so there HAS to be a reason for it... has to be...the shame of it is that they wont give you feedback. i cant call now as i have text her and it would look as though i am hassling her.

[~Chelle~]

Awwwww hun I am so sorry. She is out of order for leading you to believe that you were "the one"!

You are a lovely person and your lil men are a credit to you and absolutely gorgeous.

I really dont know what their problem is with you as I would not hesitate leaving my kids with you, J thinks you are wicked :thumbsup:

Maybe the dog put her off and she didnt want to say it. Some people get a bit funny about childminders having pets. I know when we were looking at getting a dog, one of my full timers mum's said that she wouldnt be happy with leaving her child here with a dog. So we have had to put it on the back burner for a while :(

I think it is very rude of her to not even contact you or reply to text messages to explain why or even say that you are not needed. I had this once and often found myself wondering what I had done wrong, but I realised that it is not me, it is them who have the problem.

I feel guilty now as I was the one who sent her to you :( Dont worry hun, one day someone will see you for the wonderful person that you are xxx

[onceinabluemoon]

O hyes, i know and i appreciate that. i always say to them to take their time and think about it before jumping in and signing contracts, which is probably why. I always tell them that there are many cm's in the area and ensure that they know that they have options.


I wouldn't do this personally. If you said that to me I would think you didn't want to care for my child and would go elsewhere... (but that may just be me cos I'm a little bit sensitive...)

Here, I know if a parent doesn't sign on the spot I've lost them. All the children I have ever cared for the parents sign on the spot!

The latest family even asked me to hold places for them before they even came to visit (and then signed on the spot), they came via a parent's recommendation so knew what they were getting. The few that have said 'we have other people to see', or ' we have to think about it' I know are not coming back. I am polite as always and tell them how lovely it was to meet them and how I look forward to hearing from them but I know I never will...

Don't be in so much of a hurry to send them elsewhere in future hun, tell them how wonderful you are and what you can offer their darling child, tell them spaces never last long and they need to let you know ASAP whether they want you or not to be sure to get it. sell yourself not the other CMs.

As for the 'you're the one' lady, her loss. You'll get somebody better

Good luck hun xx

[Lil chicken]

I have recently been through this too....even a mum with twins come to see me, she really messed me about, didnt turn up, then was nearly two hours late!

And then I had a shift worker who has been around all the local childminders but doesnt understand that she can't have a full time space for peanuts!

I just keep saying to myself that something always comes up:thumbsup:

[MaryMary]

I am in the same boat at the moment :(
I had 2 ladies come round with their babies. One last week, one the week before. they both said they would let me know one way or the other (if they don't want me, I would rather know than keep hanging on :mad: )
The first one said she would let me know last week, but I have heard nothing. The place wasn't 'til September, so I suppose time isn't such an issue at the moment.
The second one said she would let me know at the beginning of next week, so I will have to wait and see :o
I hate the waiting game :(
It is really hard to decide whether to chase them or not :panic: I don't want to scare them off :eek: Obviously, if i get another enquiry, I will chase them, but it is still early days yet.
Feedback would be good though! :) Their decisions of who to go with may be totally out of our control, but at least it stops us wondering/worrying :o
Good luck with yours, I hope she gets back to you soon.

[The Juggler]

O hyes, i know and i appreciate that. i always say to them to take their time and think about it before jumping in and signing contracts, which is probably why. I always tell them that there are many cm's in the area and ensure that they know that they have options.
Maybe i am handing them to other cm's on a plate?
who knows :panic:
One thing is for sure, they arent choosing me over the other cm's so there HAS to be a reason for it... has to be...the shame of it is that they wont give you feedback. i cant call now as i have text her and it would look as though i am hassling her.

i agree with bluemoon hon perhaps the way you are saying this might make them think you are not keen. Maybe instead stress that you would love to have their child and ask THEM maybe if they have seen/will be seeing any other minders rather than encouraging them to do so. Ask them to get back to you in the next few days if possible or as soon as they have finished their visits to other minders and say if you get any calls in the meantime you will contact them to ensure they have first refusal of the place. That will ensure they know you are keen on them also.:)

Also, it may just be that they have chosen a cheaper option/closer to home or work option.:(

[Tinglesnark]

I wouldn't do this personally. If you said that to me I would think you didn't want to care for my child and would go elsewhere... (but that may just be me cos I'm a little bit sensitive...)

Don't be in so much of a hurry to send them elsewhere in future hun, tell them how wonderful you are and what you can offer their darling child, tell them spaces never last long and they need to let you know ASAP whether they want you or not to be sure to get it. sell yourself not the other CMs.


:panic: there was me thinking that i was being honest by making them aware of other cm's in the area when i might well have been giving off the wrong signals by doing so? :panic:

Well there isn't much i can do about it now is there eh? :(

I think that some parents really do not think that we are running a business, a precarious one at that. They do not seem to see that it is as important to call us and let us know as it is the school, playschool etc.

sigh, i will just go back to "give up" mode and just get on with looking after dp and sorting the boys out methinks :thumbsup:

what a shame that others are going through this too, it is definitely an occupational hazard!

[The Juggler]

:panic: there was me thinking that i was being honest by making them aware of other cm's in the area when i might well have been giving off the wrong signals by doing so? :panic:

Well there isn't much i can do about it now is there eh? :(

I think that some parents really do not think that we are running a business, a precarious one at that. They do not seem to see that it is as important to call us and let us know as it is the school, playschool etc.

sigh, i will just go back to "give up" mode and just get on with looking after dp and sorting the boys out methinks :thumbsup:

what a shame that others are going through this too, it is definitely an occupational hazard!


no don't get into give up mode - you need to be in positive thinking mode. Next time the parents visit make them think how popular you are. Invent some other parents who are visiting shortly after them and tell them to please let you know as soon as possible. Be sure to say you want their child (if you do) and tell them to please let you know as soon as they have seen any other minders (if they are) or you will contact them for first refusal IF anyone wants the place in the meantime.;)

[Happy Bunny]

I have been quiet for 6 months then all of a sudden I get three calls.
One has been signed up, the other is signing this week, then Sadly i had to turn the other down due to age range.
I tell all prospective parents that they have a week to let me know or I will offer the place to someone else.

[Tinglesnark]

no don't get into give up mode - you need to be in positive thinking mode. Next time the parents visit make them think how popular you are. Invent some other parents who are visiting shortly after them and tell them to please let you know as soon as possible. Be sure to say you want their child (if you do) and tell them to please let you know as soon as they have seen any other minders (if they are) or you will contact them for first refusal IF anyone wants the place in the meantime.;)

Well this is the bizarre thing because i am always enthusiastic and in this instance i did say to her how lovely it would be to be able to care for him and how I could offer him one to one care in the mornings whilst my own 2 were at playschool and the activitiesthat were already in place so that he could engage with other babies, with the Wednesday being a day at home for observations and homely things such as art and crafts, baking etc as he grew older. I then discussed how he would then have the afternoons to interact with my own 2 children ...i did go in to quite a bit of detail because she asked me to..

Some people just cannot be pleased and i really cannot be everything to everyone...

Will deffo make a point of NOT mentioning other cm's tho :thumbsup:

Oh chelle, they had a family dog themselves and said it wasn't an issue?

Hey ho, i shall let it go as a bad job and as jugs says...remain positive....:thumbsup:

[The Juggler]

Well this is the bizarre thing because i am always enthusiastic and in this instance i did say to her how lovely it would be to be able to care for him and how I could offer him one to one care in the mornings whilst my own 2 were at playschool and the activitiesthat were already in place so that he could engage with other babies, with the Wednesday being a day at home for observations and homely things such as art and crafts, baking etc as he grew older. I then discussed how he would then have the afternoons to interact with my own 2 children ...i did go in to quite a bit of detail because she asked me to..

Some people just cannot be pleased and i really cannot be everything to everyone...

Will deffo make a point of NOT mentioning other cm's tho :thumbsup:

Oh chelle, they had a family dog themselves and said it wasn't an issue?

Hey ho, i shall let it go as a bad job and as jugs says...remain positive....:thumbsup:


def. hon. her loss:p