Baby wont sleep except in my arms

[catlyn]

as the title says, I have a 9 month old baby who refuses to sleep in a travel cot, proper cot, pushchair or even on the sofa...he gets tired at around 10am every morning and again at around 2pm each afternoon. Mum says he falls asleep in her arms and she just cuddles him until he wakes up...all well and good if you dont have any other children to worry about, I have a 3 year old and a 15month as well as him. After his mid morning bottle he alsways falls asleep but the second I lay him down he wakes up, he would sleep all morning if i nursed him; Does anyone else have this problem?? I have tried putting him in the cot and leaving him but he screams...and I mean screams..hysterically until I lift him out...very few tears though just a temper scream. I'm dread to think what my neighbours think

[fieryleo1984]

Hi I can talk from experience as my daughter was the same (she is now 15 months). In the end I just had to bite the bullet and ignore her, it was awful and hardwork but it wasnt good for both of us for her to be rocked to sleep. I dont know whether you can have a quite word with the mum, she might not agree with CIO or other techniques but something has to be done otherwise its going to make cm the other kids very difficult. If she knows that she has your support to it might make it easier?

Sorry I cant relate on a cm point of view xxx

[catlyn]

thanks for that....I think when mum comes in the morning I will have to mention it to her..as you say looking after the others while cuddling him will be almost impossible.....she is a lovely mum and hopefully she will agree to the controlled crying technique....I know a lot of mums who used this and it worked....i just feel he needs to get used to sleeping in the cot or even the pushchair...he will sleep if we go out for a walk twice a day and thats what I have been doing....but if i let him stay awake he is really cranky and miserable and ends up clinging on to my legs and climbing on my knee so I still get nothing else done

[tashaleee]

I had one like that at about 8 months... constantly held... slept in parents bed every night... didnt go to bed til they did... and I put him on the cot on day one and he did go to sleep finally after screaming for a bit and Ive continued that way ever since. Mum has tried to copy me and he still will only sleep being held for her - now 13 months :rolleyes:

I would have a chat to mum and see how she wants it handled - is there a reason why she has chosen to do this? - if she is happy I would let him scream if its just temper as eventually he will get the idea that in your house he is not going to be constantly held to sleep as its just not physically possible (would keep popping back to comfort him though and to reinforce that you are there but not picking him up - does he have a dummy, toy, blanket etc? as these often make it easier?):thumbsup:

[rickysmiths]

The best piece of advise I was ever given when I had my dd (she is 18 now). Was to never put her in her cot asleep so she learns to settle herself.

Of course it is lovely cuddling a sleeping baby but it is not practical. I have found in the past that these type of babies end up settling better in a pram or buggy rather than the open expance of a cot, if they are snuggled in blankets and straped in and you can rock them. I think they feel more secure in the enclosed feeling a buggy or pram gives.

[georgie456]

I know it's hard but you need to be tough and nip this in the bud. I had a child a few years back who was the same and mum laughed when I said he would be put down in a travel cot.

He only came on a Mon and Tues but I stuck with it and it took 2 very long, very tough months to get this child to learn to settle himself. Mum actually ended up thanking me as it made her life easier at home!

The key is working with the parents to ensure you are both following the same sleep routine. I sat down with mum and gave her a written out suggested routine and techniques to help him get to sleep.

It was terrifying bringing it up with mum - I was so worried she would take offence but I just could not accomadate such a routine with the other children that I cared for. As it was, she took it in the way it was intended and we both worked hard to solve it!

[catlyn]

thanks for the advice....he does have a dummy and he has a sleeping bag so i will have a word with mum and if shes Ok I will put him in the cot tomorrow...hopefully my nerves will stand the screaming......if all else fails I will try putting him down in the pushchair and popping him in the hallway where its warm but I can close the door to allow the other children to still play in the dining room/lounge

[littletreasures]

I have this at the moment but with a 14 month old!!!

Mum lies on the bed with her until she falls asleep or puts her in a sling and walks around with her.

She will go to sleep in the pushchair, but I want to sell my single pushchair as I have bought a Phil and Teds which stays in the car.

When I put her in the cot last week, she screamed and was shaking she was so upset. She also was sick!! I eventually got her to sleep by resting one hand gently on her stomach and stroking her forehead. I didn't have anyone else that day though. I can't do it when I have got others.

Not sure what to do as Mum doesn't let her cry.

Good luck x

[gegele]

i have one who was like this, use to breastfeed to fall asleep:(

i put a fleece blanket instead of sheet so soft like a jumper

i cradle him in blanket so it's like being held and he loved having the blanket against his cheek. plus dummy.

at first he screamed the place down, every so often i had to lay him back down give back dummy recradle....

then i discover that if i put him in my bedroom with tv on background noise he slept

then i moved him back to my DD's room where he's suppose to sleep and mu lend me his music box

ten i put music on landing and now i put him down and he sleeps LOL took a while but we got there. really hard tiring work at first.

i had a few words wih mum who admitted that when he cried too much she would take him to her bed and cuddle til he sleeps :mad:

good luck:thumbsup:

[catlyn]

thanks for the advice everyone...looks like I have a long and tiring few weeks ahead of me but i am determined to persevere...and hopefully mum will be on board with me as well xx

[venus89]

I had one like this at 5 months old but I found that if he was in the car seat I could rock him to sleep there...... Not much help to you, I know.

I look after a 17 month old and she always has mum lie down with her to sleep. It's taken three months to be able to get her to sleep not rocked (I won't lie down with her) and now she'll settle on the sofa under a blanket and with me sitting with her and patting her tummy gently.

The best advice I can give is to persevere but accept it may take a long time. And talk to Mum. Good luck

[Katiekoo]

Gosh you poor thing that must make life impossible! I have had problems like this with my daughter and nephew - not with mindees though. I found that if I could convince them that the bouncy chair with a big blanket over them was as soothing as a cuddle they would get to sleep quite well. It depends how you feel about them sleeping in bouncy chairs I guess, but I found it easier to bounce them a lot than hold them in my arms! Then in the end each child got to the stage where they could go in the cot!

[singingcactus]

Have you tried holding him while he sleeps. It's actually not as difficult as you think it is to continue to play, care and provide for other children while holding a sleeping infant. The infant will sleep well, you can move around and play with the other children without waking the sleeper.

[Vickster]

My 10 month old mindee needs to be sleepy, so I put Show me Show me on for my 20 month old, take him upstairs, hold him for a few mins and then lie him in the cot, I then tap his chest or rub it and he falls asleep after a couple of mins. He has to be really tired though so I have pushed his nap til after lunch and he just has one long one, otherwise he would not settle. It may work. My son's nursery used to tap their chests too...worth a try

[a3human]

Hiya... I used to have this with my boy!
I then started laying him on a pillow on my lap... till he fell asleep then in the cot with pillow and all. Obviously not a massive suffocating pillow.
That way he doesn't wake up when you lay him down. Week later I placed the pillow on my lap with a blanket, when asleep just moved him with the blanket in the cot. Just so he doesn’t wake up from the change in temperature.
Another week later I laid him in the cot with the same blanket stroking his back. Eventually he got used to the cot without hassle!

Goodluck!

[Helen79]

I then started laying him on a pillow on my lap... till he fell asleep then in the cot with pillow and all. Obviously not a massive suffocating pillow.
That way he doesn't wake up when you lay him down. Week later I placed the pillow on my lap with a blanket, when asleep just moved him with the blanket in the cot. Just so he doesn’t wake up from the change in temperature.
Another week later I laid him in the cot with the same blanket stroking his back. Eventually he got used to the cot without hassle!

I would try this or I would rock to sleep in a buggy, bouncy chair or sling. I wouldn't try to sleep train a young baby to sleep in a cot by themselves unless parents really wanted me to and even then I'd probably find other ways to get them used to sleeping in a cot.

[Doofuz]

At work when this happens, we use a soft teddy (age appropriate) in between us and the child so that when he goes down, he is still holding the teddy. It works 95% of the time, and always depends on the teddy! Good luck, I used to go mad with this when I was nannying.

[gigglinggoblin]

Pick up put down is a bit nicer than controlled crying, cant remember if its from the baby whisperer or no cry sleep solution. Put them down awake, if they get upset you pick them up until they are not upset then put them straight back down. Lots of people have had success with this and mum might be more comfortable with this approach. Downside is you need more time for this than cc when you start out.