Is it normal to feel like this!!!

[Newbie1!]

Please can someone tell me whether its normal to feel so sad/miserable/depressed, in your first few months!! I had all but decided today that I was throwing the towel in with one thing and another (late paying parents, mindee from hell, snotty mindees relatives, etc etc). Hubby has told me to think about it til a better day but I just feel so deflated. I cant get any mindees, were struggling for money, and because of this I cant invest in any decent toys, equipment, advertising etc and Im stuck in a vicious circle. I feel left out at the CM networking as they all stick together and I end up sat on the sidelines all the times so dont go much now...the list goes on!!

I love being at home with my daughter but cant see light at the end of the tunnel and wondered if anyone else felt this way when they were Newbie too! xxx:( :( :(

[Ripeberry]

Sorry you're having such a hard time :( Do you have a lead childminder scheme in your area? Mine was very good at introducing me to the local CMs and it did take time for me to be accepted and I used to think one CM was picking on me all the time and being sarcastic, but after a year I noticed that she was like that with everyone and they just rolled their eyes at her.
She is quite nice once you get past her prickles :D
I would say keep attending the CM groups at least it's not as lonely as being in 'Mother and baby' groups as whenever I say I'm a CM they don't want to know :rolleyes:

Don't worry about the money thing, when I started most of my toys came from charity shops. If they are being sold, they are bomb proof most of the time. It can be hard starting up, but once people get to know you and see you out and about, it does pick up.
:thumbsup:

[lynnslittleuns]

I certainly did and I know exactly how you are feeling.
Hang on in there, it will come right in the end and believe me it is really worth it.

Sending big hugs and keep your chin up.
Lynn xx

[Blackcat]

look on your local freecycle for equipment

[miffy]

Sorry you're feeling down - it can be very lonely especially if you feel everyone else is in a group.

Is there a support childminder scheme in your area?

Miffy xx

[Newbie1!]

Thank you all guys so much, I really appreciate it and all your words really help. I know that I need to pull myself out of this mood but its nice to come and vent a bit to you all! xx

We dont really have anything like support minders, and if we did knowing my luck itd probably one of the ones at the meetings that keeps schtum (sp) and looks at you across the room like theyve got xray specs on!!!

Big MWAH to you all for your lovely replies.xxx

[The Juggler]

sorry to hear that hon.

firstly I think we've all felt a little like this. call your local children's centre manager or development officer and ask if there is mentor childminder/support childminder you can be put in touch with.

then ask about the local toy resource library, you can borrow loads of nice stuff from there.

stick with it and be tough with those parents taking the mickx

[Newbie1!]

look on your local freecycle for equipment


Ooo yep I love my freecycle and have travelled miles for it!! Just need some decent toy storage and some decent boys toys. keep requesting and requesting but nothing :( :(

[Newbie1!]

stick with it and be tough with those parents taking the mickx

Thank you sweetie - this is one piece of advice that I definitely need to follow - I have no back bone at all. I lay down and they just wipe their feet clean :blush: :panic: :blush:

[miffy]

Ooo yep I love my freecycle and have travelled miles for it!! Just need some decent toy storage and some decent boys toys. keep requesting and requesting but nothing :( :(

Charity shops are a good place to look especially at this time of year when people are clearing out after Christmas.

Keep an eye on the for sale board here too - there have been a few threads today about people having toy clearouts.

Miffy xx

[sarak31]

I've just joined a load more groups - am quite shy really and find it hard to make friends - but am forcing myself to get out there and it is hard but I have especially found the children's center good and I have been going to a few groups - not just childminders but parent / toddler groups as well and the play workers that work there know me now so I always have them to chat to - and they are really friendly.

My advice would be join a group - every day if you need to get out - and just keep going - after a while your face will be part of the regular crowd as well and you will feel more accepted I am sure - it's definately worked that way for me recently! You will probably find you'll get more enquiries and hopefully get some business as people will get to know you and that you are a childminder.

Good luck!

[SamBaker]

Please can someone tell me whether its normal to feel so sad/miserable/depressed, in your first few months!! I had all but decided today that I was throwing the towel in with one thing and another (late paying parents, mindee from hell, snotty mindees relatives, etc etc). Hubby has told me to think about it til a better day but I just feel so deflated. I cant get any mindees, were struggling for money, and because of this I cant invest in any decent toys, equipment, advertising etc and Im stuck in a vicious circle. I feel left out at the CM networking as they all stick together and I end up sat on the sidelines all the times so dont go much now...the list goes on!!

I love being at home with my daughter but cant see light at the end of the tunnel and wondered if anyone else felt this way when they were Newbie too! xxx:( :( :(

I totally know where your coming from, my parents are all lovely thankfully, but after going to cm group yesterday and watching the other two cm, I feel useless as I sat there like a lemon, not knowing what to say or do:blush: lol!
I am at the moment sorting out what I have to pay for tax and NI, wondering where I am going to find the money to buy a double buggy, new car etc etc. It does depress me a bit at the moment, but I'm glad I have found this site because I have found some lovely people that have helped me so much and found people that know exactly how I feel. We'll get there mucka, this time next year we'll be helping people through and giving advice:thumbsup:

[Newbie1!]

I've just joined a load more groups - am quite shy really and find it hard to make friends - but am forcing myself to get out there and it is hard but I have especially found the children's center good and I have been going to a few groups - not just childminders but parent / toddler groups as well and the play workers that work there know me now so I always have them to chat to - and they are really friendly.

My advice would be join a group - every day if you need to get out - and just keep going - after a while your face will be part of the regular crowd as well and you will feel more accepted I am sure - it's definately worked that way for me recently! You will probably find you'll get more enquiries and hopefully get some business as people will get to know you and that you are a childminder.

Good luck!

Im just the same, always had a very small circle of friends who have now gone off into the big wide world and left little old me in my little village to fend for myself! Thank you for the advice, I need to get motivated and get off to Sure Start tomorrow!!xx

[Newbie1!]

I totally know where your coming from, my parents are all lovely thankfully, but after going to cm group yesterday and watching the other two cm, I feel useless as I sat there like a lemon, not knowing what to say or do:blush: lol!
I am at the moment sorting out what I have to pay for tax and NI, wondering where I am going to find the money to buy a double buggy, new car etc etc. It does depress me a bit at the moment, but I'm glad I have found this site because I have found some lovely people that have helped me so much and found people that know exactly how I feel. We'll get there mucka, this time next year we'll be helping people through and giving advice:thumbsup:

Awww sweetie, much as I dont want anyone else to feel unhappy etc it is comforting to know someone else does feel a little similar and that Im not a complete crazy!!! Im just sorting tax and ni out. Ive sort of reached a point where everyone I speak to (in professional capacity - council, hmrc etc etc) all say its not them I need to speak to and refer me on. If I was comitting fraud and claiming things, or not paying my taxes etc theyd be on me like flies on the proverbial!! Im going to bookmark this thread and put a reminder in my calendar for this time next year and we'll have to review where we are then!!! :laughing: :laughing:

[AnnieM]

You ought to come and join us at Jangos tomorrow or is that too far (Mansfield Woodhouse)? I forget whereabouts you are now. I have just been to SEF training in chesterfield and there are people there with LOADS on there books and then there was me and one other lady with nobody. :panic: It will get better, you need to hang on in there and don't let those parents walk all over you, it's you home and your business, so you call the shots. :thumbsup:

[SamBaker]

Awww sweetie, much as I dont want anyone else to feel unhappy etc it is comforting to know someone else does feel a little similar and that Im not a complete crazy!!! Im just sorting tax and ni out. Ive sort of reached a point where everyone I speak to (in professional capacity - council, hmrc etc etc) all say its not them I need to speak to and refer me on. If I was comitting fraud and claiming things, or not paying my taxes etc theyd be on me like flies on the proverbial!! Im going to bookmark this thread and put a reminder in my calendar for this time next year and we'll have to review where we are then!!! :laughing: :laughing:

Sounds like a plan!! :laughing: I am pleased I'm doing this job especially when I get big grins and cuddles from the little 9 month old I have and my mindees waving to me at school, it's just the grown up side of it that gets me down abit, all be worth it in the end though. :clapping:

[Newbie1!]

You ought to come and join us at Jangos tomorrow or is that too far (Mansfield Woodhouse)? I forget whereabouts you are now. I have just been to SEF training in chesterfield and there are people there with LOADS on there books and then there was me and one other lady with nobody. :panic: It will get better, you need to hang on in there and don't let those parents walk all over you, it's you home and your business, so you call the shots. :thumbsup:

I would love to, Woodhouse isnt too far really, but have promised to go to Planet Happy in the morning. Will check out other dates etc tho and can pop over. I'll remind myself tomorrow about it being my home, when Im on my hands and knees scrubbing wee of the floor from my mindee from hell.... :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Thank you sweetie. xxx

[ajs]

I would love to, Woodhouse isnt too far really, but have promised to go to Planet Happy in the morning. Will check out other dates etc tho and can pop over. I'll remind myself tomorrow about it being my home, when Im on my hands and knees scrubbing wee of the floor from my mindee from hell.... :rolleyes: :rolleyes: Thank you sweetie. xxx

we're meeting in Retford on tuesday if you can do that, it's just the other side of the A1 to worksop

i know how you feel about being down though it's beena very long month and i hsall be happy to see feb xx

[gegele]

i took on caring for old people at the beginning. i was working evening at week ends and a few evening a week. wasn't great for the family life as i was leaving as soon as hubby came through the door as he was commuting at the time but it brought money in. i was doing something so felt less inadequate, and i was taking my children to a group a day nearly to compensate for the time i wasn't here at night.

i met loads of childminders.

register on childcare.co.uk

put card (free from vista print) to your school, nursery, pre-schools. have a nice chat with school lady so she remembers you LOL

as others said is to get known. out and about is the best way. you can go for a walk in your area or local tesco and put a card on cars with carseats.:D

as with your parents you need to do a newsletter and reinforce the late payement fees, late collection etc. put a copy of your fees with it!
you need to stop it now as it won't go any easier (not great gramar sorry).

good luck
good luck

[The Juggler]

Thank you sweetie - this is one piece of advice that I definitely need to follow - I have no back bone at all. I lay down and they just wipe their feet clean :blush: :panic: :blush:

oh hon. you mustn't let them. the newer they are the better. ask them in for a cuppa and say, you know you are new but there are a few things you need to chat about otherwise you will have to start bringing in late collection/late payment fees which of course you'd rather not have to do ;) you can do it:)

[breezy]

I find it harder to get motivated in the cold dark months, it gets easier in the summer for me! Getting out and about to groups helps a lot otherwise it can be a very lonely job and you get stuck with the loonies on here:laughing:

[Vickster]

It is hard. you work your butt off and you get no feedback, that is why this forum is great. I am not in a support group, but kept in touch with a girl from my course and there is another childminder at my sons school who is lovely, so I try and hook up with them.

[Newbie1!]

Thank you all so much guys, I truly appreciate your ongoing help and support xxxxx

[Bridey]

All the above advice is good. Another thing I have found that has helped me the most over the years was to find a social hobby/interest that was completely unconnected with children! It gave me something to look forward to that took me away from being minder/mum. I know its hard when you have young children of your own but maybe you can snatch one evening a week to yourself to join a class or a club?

[donnamarie2]

Please can someone tell me whether its normal to feel so sad/miserable/depressed, in your first few months!! I had all but decided today that I was throwing the towel in with one thing and another (late paying parents, mindee from hell, snotty mindees relatives, etc etc). Hubby has told me to think about it til a better day but I just feel so deflated. I cant get any mindees, were struggling for money, and because of this I cant invest in any decent toys, equipment, advertising etc and Im stuck in a vicious circle. I feel left out at the CM networking as they all stick together and I end up sat on the sidelines all the times so dont go much now...the list goes on!!

I love being at home with my daughter but cant see light at the end of the tunnel and wondered if anyone else felt this way when they were Newbie too! xxx:( :( :(

Hi,I totally know how you feel despite all my best efforts with advertising and being know by school , local childminders etc i only have 1 before and after schoolie and can count on 1 hand the number of enquiries ive had !!
I know the service i'm offering is good , price competitive , nice setting etc so am sure my time will come and yours will too!!
An inspector phoned me yesterday to book my grading inspection but is trying again in 3 months due to my lack of children , she did say it is the hardest time starting out and not to worry!!